


You make it easier

by Amandjnx



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Natasha Romanov Feels, POV Natasha Romanov, carolnat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 57,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amandjnx/pseuds/Amandjnx
Summary: You could think being Natasha Romanoff, one of the most popular girl on the campus would be easy, but it actually was not, it was the opposite.
Relationships: Carol Danvers & Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers & Wanda Maximoff, Carol Danvers/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 21
Kudos: 77





	1. A welcomed encounter

You could think being Natasha Romanoff, one of the most popular girl on the campus would be easy, but it actually was not, it was the opposite.

She was in her third year of college, to get her degree with Russian literature major, quite easy when you were born and raised during nine years in the largest country of the world, yeah, that was easy for her, but that was basically the only easy thing in her life.

Leaving high school to the university had broken her story with her girlfriend of four years, Maria, and since then, she hadn't had any serious relationship, to her big discontent, until this year, when she met Carol.

They met at the library, the tall blonde looking for a book to read before going to bed while Natasha was studying. Carol, not sure what to choose asked Natasha her opinion and there started their relationship.

It was late and Natasha didn't expect such a nice encounter at this time of the day but meeting Carol was a delight in her casual boring Monday.

"Hey, redhead?"

"Natasha." She corrected, watching this stranger dropping their dozen of books on the table.

"Hi, I'm Carol. I um.. I'm looking for a book but I can't decide which one I should pick, any thoughts?"

Natasha chuckled, recognising the cover of one of them, "This book is one of my favourite, Russian writer, the best of his genre."

"I'm sure you have good taste, I take it!"

"I wouldn't be sure about that." Natasha said, pursing her lips to hold her laughter.

Carol cocked an eyebrow, "And why is that?"

"Well," Natasha leaned over the table to grab the book and opened it, "it's written in Russian."

"Oh!"

"This one is in English and it's a good book too." Natasha said, picking other book from the messy pile and handed it to Carol.

The blonde girl watched the cover and pouted, "But not better than this, right?"

"Definitely not better, yeah," She admitted as she sat properly, then an idea crossed her mind, "but, you know, if you come back at a decent hour we could read it together."

"You'd translate for me?" Carol asked with both hope and disbelief in her tone.

"Of course I would, красивая."

"I don't know what you said but I liked it," the blonde said as she picked up her mess off the table, "you free this Thursday at three?"

"I think I am, yes." Natasha replied in a blink of an eye, actually a hundred percent sure she had nothing else to do (except studying).

"Alright, see you there!"

"It's a date." Natasha said loudly as Carol disappeared in an alley, her little giggles fading away.

It was not her style to flirt like this, but something about Carol made her feel confident enough to do it, and the other girl seemed to like it. Usually she was more the kind of girl to wait for the other person to come and talk, a lot of men were attracted by her red hair and green eyes and tried to get into her pants, some not closeted girls too and she knew a couple of people had a crush on her.

She felt it immediately, her body aching, lacking of something when Carol left. She wasn't the kind of girl to believe in love at first sight but she had to admit the blonde had an impact on her just by the way she was, the way she lived. That felt good, to meet someone like Carol, someone confident but a bit shy all at once, easy to talk to but who obviously had a million secrets, waiting to be unburied by Natasha's willpower to discover the girl.

The next two days, Natasha was looking forward to see Carol. She even took the time to read the book again, taking notes about some details she would explain to the blonde.

The Thursday morning, Natasha couldn't keep her focus on the lecture she was attending, too excited about her date with the tall blonde to listen to the lecturer. She wondered what class Carol signed up for and also why she had never seen her around the campus before.

When the morning turned to afternoon, Natasha went to her dorm, changing into some better dressed clothes, just enough to look chic, sexy but still casual at the same time. She opted for a white shirt with two buttons opened, just enough to let appear the skin of her chest, but not too much either. She put on a pair of high-rise black jeans and her favourite Vans, the shoes being the casual part while her cuffed jeans showcased her curves, the sexy part.

After looking at herself in the mirror she grabbed her book and notes and walked calmly to the library. She sat at the very table she met Carol a few days earlier and waited, continuing her taking notes while reading the book.

She was glad the blonde and herself found a moment to see the each other so easily and thanked her best friend Steve for telling her biology was boring and that she shouldn't take that class, this one being held on the Thursdays afternoon.

As 3 PM approached, Natasha started to feel a bit anxious, a knot forming in her stomach when the thought of Carol sitting next to her came to her mind. She didn't want to be stressed for something as simple as a date, but remembering the last time she did this made it impossible.

Her last real date was when she went out with her ex, at the time as friends, but during that evening she had realised she wanted more than a friendship with her and so bailed for a couple of weeks, not accepting her bisexuality. Fortunately, Maria was in the same situation and they went through the self acceptance and coming out together. But now she knew who she was and what she wanted, and that was the most important for her, yet the knot in her stomach was there and nothing she tried made it leave.

When 3 PM stroke, she checked the time every minute on her phone, impatiently waiting for the blonde girl to arrive. After ten minutes, she realised how tense she was and tried desperately to chill, closing her eyes as she focused on her breathing. She opened her eyes again and saw Carol, standing in front of her on the other side of the table with a soft smile, one of the best thing Natasha had ever seen.

"Oh, hey um… didn't hear you there." Natasha greeted the blonde, a bit embarrassed.

"It's okay, I saw you from back there, didn't want to disturb you." Carol replied, hesitantly coming to the side of the table where Natasha was seated, "So, how you doing, Red?"

Natasha laughed, not sure if Carol was serious with the nickname or not, "You remember my name right?"

"Of course I do, Nat, I just think Red suits you well." She said, sitting on the chair next on Natasha's left, her smile not leaving her face.

"It's still not my full name but I take it."

"Alright, Natasha, shall we begin?"

"Now you don't care how I'm doing?" She was playing with the blonde, teasing her to relax both Carol and herself, feeling the atmosphere was a bit tense between them.

Carol responded with a light punch on Natasha's shoulder, faking annoyance, "You are a huge pain in the ass, you know that."

"I heard as much," she confessed, but she was still in a teasing mood and continued, "but nobody ever said it in my face."

"Well, I'm telling you, you are a huge pain in my ass." Carol dared to say it.

"Why, thank you very much, Carol!"

"You're such a dork."

"I'm sure you like it." Natasha stated, actually hoping the blonde liked that silly side of her, a side not a lot of people had the chance to see, especially the second time they saw the redhead.

Natasha stared to read the book, translating instantly what she was reading with ease, which impressed Carol as she stood gaping for the whole first chapter, the one establishing the place and characters of the story.

"Oh, that's funny." Exclaimed Natasha, reading the description of her favourite being of the story, an Angel.

"What is?"

"This description of the angel, tall, blonde haired woman with light brown eyes, sounds familiar."

"You saying I look like the angel." Carol was blushing and that was one of the most adorable thing Natasha had ever seen.

"You definitely are the angel. I can't get the image out of my head now, you will always be the angel of that story, or, at least, mine."

"Wow… that's super cute, thanks!" Carol grinned so much her eyes were only slightly opened, she looked like a puppy asking for a hug, and Natasha had to fight the urge to give her one.

"Anyway," she cleared her throat, "what about we continue?"

"I'd like that."

The more the afternoon went the more they got closer. The first time their knees brushed, they both sat straight on their respective chairs, avoiding eye contact for a few minutes, not accepting how hard they actually wanted to feel the other close. They eventually accepted to feel the other's warmth, their thighs pressed and their arms often brushing when they both wanted to turn the page at the same time.

As they advanced in the book, Natasha finally had to use her notes for a detail Carol didn't understand. The redhead wasn't sure she didn't get it because it was hard or because she didn't listen, too focused on Natasha's features.

"You get it now?"

"I think I do." The blonde girl muttered, yet Natasha could swear she had no clue what she just said.

"Great, so, I was saying, _up in the sky the stars shine bright over your sorrows and all through the night_."

She stopped to see Carol's reaction to what was one of her favourite quote from this writer but the blonde seemed distracted, her gaze on Natasha's lips.

The redhead snapped her fingers, making Carol jump with surprise a little, "Hey, you listening?"

The other girl's eyes widened and her cheeks turned red as she realised she had been staring for a while, "Sorry, i-… sorry."

"We can take a break if you want, this book is a lot to take in."

Carol couldn't get her eyes to look right into Natasha's green ones, leaning closer and closer to her until their shoulders touched. "It's not the book, really."

"Yeah, I can see that." Natasha said, smirking and changed position, she was now more facing Carol than the table.

"Really good book though."

Natasha hummed in agreement, glancing at Carol's lips, a big mistake.

Her lips were now the only thing she could see and want, she was indefinitely attracted by them and mirrored the blonde's doing, leaning closer. The tip of their nose brushed, just enough to send shivers through her spine. Mindlessly, her hand slid from her lap to Carol's thigh, shyly caressing the fabric of her jeans with her thumb. It was a matter of millimetres before their lips would be linked when Natasha saw a familiar face in the corner of her eyes. She immediately backed up and coughed, hiding her mouth behind her hand as she looked in the direction of where she saw her friend, making sure he left. Her emerald eyes met Carol's again and she recognised the feelings behind them in a heartbeat, misunderstanding and sadness.

"Sorry.. I saw a friend of mine, Bruce, he has a bit of a crush on me so I wouldn't him to see us." Natasha apologised and rested her forehead on Carol's shoulder to hide her shame.

"It's okay," Carol replied in a whisper, "you're so thoughtful with your friend, how can I take that badly." she added with a cheerful tone, her hand reaching Natasha's hair.

Natasha hated herself for ruining a moment like this, that was what she wanted since the second she heard Carol calling her _redhead_ a few days earlier and she blew it, putting the happiness of the others before hers, as usual.

"We um, we are at the end of the chapter, and it's pretty late." It was almost 7 PM, they had been reading for more than three hours, "I um… I have things to do before going to bed, even though I'd love to stay with you."

"You, having other things to do than reading and studying?" Carol asked not really seriously, it sounded more like a way to tease Natasha than an actual question.

"Actually, yeah, I go to the gym on Thursdays."

"I wouldn't have thought you were a gym person, you're so skinny."

"Thanks, I guess." Natasha replied hesitantly, not sure how to take those words.

"Yeah that was weird, sorry." Carol shook her head, her face turning pink with embarrassment, "Maybe we could go together one day, when my wrist is healed."

"What happened to your wrist?" The redhead wondered, glancing between both Carol's joints, wondering how she didn't see the other girl was injured.

Carol showed her a small scar on the side of her arm before closing the book and handing it back to Nat, "I thought you had things to do?"

"I do but I can cancel, I'd rather be in your company."

"You going to the gym on the campus?"

"Yeah, I can't afford to pay for a subscription." Actually, she could if she took the time to find a job, but she preferred read on her free time than work at a café or a crappy bar.

"What if I walk you there, so I'll have time to tell you."

Natasha smiled as she heard Carol's proposition, "That would be great."

"Let's go then!"

They gathered their respective belongings and left the library, Natasha walking side by side with the blonde, her hand grasping the fabric of Carol's hoodie to the level of her elbow.

"So, the wrist?"

"Oh, yeah. I um.. I play tennis, or I used to play actually and was forced to stop cause of an injury that shredded my tendon and nerves. I had a scholarship with a special schedule, I would have had my degree within five or six years if I didn't get injured, the idea is to validate one semester a year but I managed to get four in my two years there, mainly because of the injury."

"Which means you are?"

"20, 21 the 24th of April."

"Right, I'll remember that." Natasha discreetly took her phone with her free hand and wrote ‘24 April’ in her notes, knowing the birthday of the girl you have a crush on was definitely a good point, "So, what class do you go to? I guess Russian literature isn't one of them."

"I don't need Russian literature, I already have the best teacher for it." Carol said with a flirty tone, looking at Natasha.

"True." Natasha replied before nudging Carol gently, laughing as she saw the other girl sticking her tongue out at her.

Their smiles eventually faded into more neutral expressions before Carol resumed her story, "I took astrophysics major, along with some maths related classes."

"So you're a nerd." Natasha was once again trying to hold her laughters, joking around with Carol was definitely her new favourite activity.

"Friendly reminder that you're a dork, not sure I'm worse."

"Yes, you are." she stated and then realised something, "Wait up! You validated your semesters while doing sports competitions? How?"

"I did only two competitions before my injury became too unbearable to practice, so I basically had a normal experience of college, except for the first semester. I stayed there in Louisiana for the second year, hoping it would heal but when it didn't, we agreed with the administration that I should leave and go to a college where the astrophysics education is better than it is back there, that's why I'm here."

"Must be hard to leave, don't you miss your friends?"

"The only friend I have from there is my best friend, the others forgot me the second I told them I would leave."

"That's horrible, I'm sorry it happened to you." Natasha said softly, giving Carol's arm a supportive squeeze.

"It's fine, plus I already met way better people here." The blonde tilted her head to look into Natasha's eyes, her soft smile back, "I'm talking about you, Red."

"Thank you, that's really sweet." Natasha said shyly, blushing to Carol's compliment.

She let go of Carol's arm and stood before her, stopping her pace, "Well, that's me."

Carol looked at the building next to them and realised it was the gym, "Right! Have a nice session."

"Thanks," Natasha stepped closer, invading Carol's personal space and gave her cheek a soft kiss, "I'll see you next week, same time same day. Bye, Angel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> красивая (krasivaya) = beautiful


	2. The best way to thank you

The following days were the most frustrating Natasha had ever experienced. The reminder of how close she was from kissing Carol back in the library sent shivers down her spine every time she thought of it, and it came back to her mind a lot.

The night after the event, she dreamt of how it would have gone if she hadn't seen Bruce walking past their table and the result was definitely what Natasha wanted.

The next Monday, Natasha went to the library around the same hour she met Carol a week ago and waited, taking notes for her translating duty later that week while hoping the blonde had the same idea and show up, but she didn't. She stayed until the librarian asked her to leave, the 50-ish years old man nicely accompanying her towards the exit, he and Natasha had talked a lot about books in the past two years, the redhead being a regular visitor.

She arrived to her dorm and headed directly to bed, the last thought in her mind as she drifted into sleep being the tall blonde girl.

The day she would see Carol again had finally came. Natasha went to her Russian literature class with only her book, a pen and her notebook in hands, her stuff for the class long forgotten in her room. She sat at an unusual seat, far from the professor and the group of students and worked on her notes, absolutely not listening a word they were saying.

When the professor questioned her about the subject they were concerned, Natasha found herself grateful that the women who took care of her when she was in an orphanage obliged her to read, back in Russia, this novel being one of the first she studied. She gave the right answer and went back to her own activities, not even bothering to listen to the congratulations from the older woman.

Midday rang and Natasha ran out of the lecture theatre to the cafeteria, joining her friends for lunch.

"Hey!" She greeted the table composed by Tony, Bruce and Steve. She sat next to the latter, opposite to Tony. They casually chatted until the subject of Natasha's upcoming afternoon came up.

"Whatcha doing today, Nat? Studying and gym, as usual?" Tony asked, his mouth full with chips.

"Actually I have a thing this afternoon."

"A thing?" Steve said, raising an eyebrow, "can you be more specific?"

"It's um… just a girl I met last week, her name is Carol and she asked me for a good book to read in a selection she had done and she had taken that one I love from Nabokov, but she didn't know it was in Russian till I showed her." Thinking about Carol's face when she realised that made Natasha chuckled, "Anyway, I told her I could translate the book for her, so we are seeing each other at 3 for our second lecture of it."

"Why didn't you just tell her there was an English version of that book in the other library of the campus?" Tony asked with mischief in his eyes, knowing exactly why she didn't do that.

Natasha shrugged, "I don't know, I thought it was a good idea and she-"

"She's cute, right?" He cut her off, elbowing Bruce, who was acting like he didn't hear anything of the conversation.

"What?" Natasha asked yet she had totally heard what Tony said. She didn't want to talk about it because of Bruce, the guy was still into her, even though she had made it clear that nothing would happen between them a long time ago.

"Don't play the innocent virgin with us Natasha," Tony exclaimed with a shit-eating smirk, "the only reason you would be nice like that and propose that to someone you don't know is if you found them attractive, so, is she?"

"I mean, yeah, she is but that's not what it is." Natasha tried to sound convincing, especially to Bruce, knowing hearing that was hurting him, but she was failed miserably. The truth was that she found Carol extremely attractive, she had never seen a woman so gorgeous, naturally good looking and confident.

"Of course it's not." Tony concluded sarcastically.

"Anyway," Natasha said with annoyance in her voice, standing up to leave, "I have to go, bye."

"Wait, Nat!" Tony stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

"Huh?"

"Saturday, my place, big party, bring your girl if you want."

Natasha let out an irritated sigh, "I'll ask her, thanks Tony."

She sauntered to the library, taking a little detour to the coffee shop close to the campus to buy a cappuccino. At first she wanted to take one for Carol but she didn't know what to order and it would be cold before the blonde would get there.

She sat at the same table and read the first chapters again, still amused by how the angel's description fitted exactly Carol's features and body, from her height to the beauty spot she had on her left cheek.

She had dived so much into the lines that she didn't realise it was already three twenty and the blonde was still not there, until her phone rang.

"Hey Steve, what's up?"

_"Nothing, I just wanted to know how it was going with your girl."_

"She's not my girl and she's not here."

_"She didn't stood you up, did she?"_

When Steve said that, Natasha heard loud and fast footsteps coming her way and glimpsed the silhouette of Carol at the other edge of the alley.

"She just got here, I'll talk to you later."

She didn't wait for him to say goodbye before hanging up the call. Putting her phone back where it belonged, it came to Natasha's mind that she didn't ask for Carol's number, too caught up in the moment to think about that the last time she saw her.

Carol arrived to Natasha's level, panting heavily, leaning forward with her hands on her hips, "Wow, for an angel and an athlete you don't have that much stamina."

"That's.. absolutely not true.. I'll show you someday." The blonde replied between big breaths, putting her bag on the ground next to the chair she would sit on, "Sorry, I was in the science building, which is on the other side of the campus, I ran as fast as I could."

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to apologise for being in class." Natasha replied softly, pulling the chair so Carol could sit.

"How are _you_ already there?" Carol asked as she took her jacket off, the one she had when they met and the week prior during their first lecture.

"No class on Thursdays afternoon."

"Oh! That explains it."

The blonde sat beside Natasha and gave her an unexpected kiss on the cheek, causing the redhead to blush, "How was your week?" she wondered with a small smile, her face still way to close to Natasha's.

The redhead had a hard time thinking straight, yet it wasn't a difficult question. She eventually answered, "Good, you?"

"I've been waiting for this moment since you entered the gym." Carol admitted, her smile growing bigger.

Natasha chuckled, both amused and trying to hide her grin. She was really happy that Carol missed her because she did too.

_I_ _f she_ _didn't miss_ _me_ _it would not make sense, because_ _we_ _were close from kissing the last time_ _we_ _saw each other, and if now she didn't want that to happen, it would mean she had learnt things about_ _me_ _that would have had dishearten her to get to know_ _me_... _Shit I'm overthinking it!_

"Hey, I realised I didn't have your number, which would be helpful if we need to reschedule or something." Carol said, break Natasha's trail of thoughts, one hand waiting for Natasha to give her her phone while handing hers.

"What contact name do you want?" Nat asked, already writing what she knew the blonde's would answer, "you know damn well what to do."

They exchanged their phones and both laughed, they wrote exactly what the other would have done.

[Red 👩🦰 ]

[Angel 😇 ]

After they exchanged their numbers, Natasha started reading, her notes being more and more useful as they entered the important part of the story, and also the most interesting.

The whole afternoon went smoothly, no interruption because of Carol not listening or one of Natasha's friend spying on them.

Natasha received a text from Steve, reminding her that they were supposed to meet at the gym, they had planned a training session together earlier this week and she was already fifteen minutes late.

"Dammit, it's already 6:30, I have to go."

"Already?" Carol replied with a high pitched tone, looking sad all of a sudden.

"Yes but, hey," Natasha took Carol's hands in hers, "I'll see you next week, right? And you can text me now if you wanna talk." the redhead said softly, her green eyed gaze not leaving the hazelnut one.

"I know but I just…" Carol wavered, looking away, "I really like listening to you talking about what you love."

It was the nicest thing somebody had ever told her and she couldn't find a good way to thank her for her kind words. Or, actually there was one, but oddly it was harder to do than she thought.

Carol stood up and took her backpack, "See you next week, Red." she said quietly with sorrow in her voice. It made Natasha's heart ache to see her like this, she had to show her she cared.

She stood up and stopped Carol's pace, grabbing the sleeve of her hoodie, "Wait." the redhead whispered, her hands sliding up towards the front of her hoodie and tugged her closer by the lace of her hood. She tiptoed to decrease the height difference and captured Carol's lips. Natasha felt a pair of hesitant hands on her waist and smiled, breaking the kiss, her forehead resting against Carol's.

"My friend Tony is throwing a party at his parents place this Saturday, wanna come?"

"Definitely." Carol whispered before closing the gap between them.

They kissed slowly and tenderly, Natasha's hands cupping Carol's face, her thumbs tracing lines on her cheekbones while the blonde gained confidence and pulled Natasha's body against her own, wrapping her arms around her, making the redhead gasp as she felt the warmth of the other girl.

She reluctantly pulled away, making out in the middle of the alleys of a crowded library wasn't in Natasha's plans.

"I'll send you the infos, okay?" Carol nodded slightly and kissed her one last time to say goodbye. She took a step back to break the kiss and then kept walking backwards to stare at Natasha, the redhead giggling as she watched the blonde girl disappearing, until she couldn't see her any more.


	3. This feeling when you're around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter with some important infos for the rest of the fic!

Natasha was nervous about Tony's party. Her relationship with Carol was new, she had known her for only a couple of weeks and they hadn't talked about what they expected of the relationship at all, so introducing her to her tumultuous and 'popular' friends was maybe too early. She wanted her to meet them nonetheless, because, deep down, she needed approval, even if it was something that only impacted _her_ life.

When she sent her the infos, the other girl didn't seem to be stressed about it, so Natasha shook the feeling off and prepared herself for the night.

It was a casual party, just a reason to drink alcohol, but Natasha decided to dress nicely, not too much either, but still in some clothes she wouldn't wear on a normal day. It was a black jumpsuit with a zipper on the centre front, going from her neck all the way down to her crotch, not too much for a party but still sexy for Carol, and easy to take off, just in case..

As she watched her reflection in the mirror, she heard a knock the door of one of Tony's house bathrooms, where she was getting ready. She hummed to let the person enter, putting on her favourite earrings.

"Hey… wow, Nat, you are stunning!" Steve said, closing the door behind him, "All of that for this girl?"

"Carol." Natasha replied firmly, kind of annoyed her best friend didn't remember the name of the blonde after she told him, Tony and Bruce a couple of days ago.

"Yeah, sorry. So that's for her?"

"It is. I don't exactly know why," Natasha shrugged, "it just felt like the right thing to do."

"Well, I bet she's gonna love it, and not only her." Steve smirked, Natasha was often in the middle of the crowd's attention because of her beauty, as much as she hated it.

Natasha sighed, remembering Bruce would be there too, "He needs to get me out of his head, I'm really not in a boy period, maybe I will never be again."

"Come on, Natasha, just because one guy broke your heart doesn't mean every men are bad, look at me."

"You're gay, Steve." Natasha reminded wisely. Steve was still in the closet, and Natasha was the only one he trusted enough to admit he liked boys, he didn't tell his best friend Tony nor his parents.

"True, but still, I'm sure there's good straight men out there." Natasha watched his face in the mirror, and even him seemed to doubt his words. There was good men in the world of course, but Natasha never encountered one, maybe except for Bruce, he was a sweetheart despite his persistent crush on her, he was like a brother to her, always having her back.

"Well, for now on I don't give a damn, I'm taken, remember?" The redhead said proudly, the memory of her kiss with Carol coming back to her mind.

"Oh, so you two are officially dating?" Steve asked, surprised. Natasha hadn't told him she and Carol kissed a few days ago, she knew the news would have spread quickly if she had.

"I'm working on that."

Steve chuckled in response, opening the door to leave, "I want to be the first to meet her." he stated and let Natasha alone.

She took a few more minutes to get ready, putting on her favourite perfume, the one she was wearing when she and Carol met, did her hair, her wavy locks tied in two braids, and put mascara on her eyelash.

She grinned proudly as she looked one last time in the mirror, Carol would a hundred percent love her look.

She went downstairs, a satisfied smile on her face and joined her friends in the living room, no guests being expected for another hour.

Tony looked her up and down before saying with a shit eating smirk, "You know the idea of this party is to get drunk Natalia, not to get laid."

"Good for me I have other plans." she snapped at him as she sat down, smirking back.

"Wait, you don't wanna get laid?" he asked, a brow raised.

"I don't know, I just want to spend a nice moment with Carol, talk about the fact that we kissed the other time and maybe… you know… if we are in the mood.." Natasha responded, implying she was thinking about having sex with the blonde, but that's not what her three friends retained of her words.

"You what?" Tony shouted in shock.

"You didn't tell me this!"

"So you two are a thing?" Bruce asked, obviously disappointed that Natasha's possible new girlfriend was becoming her real girlfriend, but still with a bit of support in his voice.

"Okay, one question at the time. Yes, we kissed last Thursday. I didn't tell you Steve because you would have told Tony and he would have been an annoying asshole with me. And for the latter, I don't know, that's why we have to talk about it."

"But you want it?"

"Yes Bruce, I want it." She recognised his tone, it wasn't jealousy, it was worry, he cared so deeply for her and her happiness, Natasha was really grateful to have him, "I've never felt so safe and happy around someone, and I barely know her."

"What if she's actually a creep?" Steve pointed out. It was a fair point, Natasha didn't know much about Carol, she could be lying to her, she wouldn't know.

"For what I've heard she's not."

"What you heard?" Natasha said, a part of her wanting to believe he didn't investigate Carol, but the other knowing he did.

"What? I just did some researches. There's only one Carol on campus, it was easy to hack into the system and find some interesting facts about her. You knew she played tennis at a pretty impressive level?"

"Yes, she told me. And don't even start with the things you read about her, I want to get to know her be myself."

Tony rose is hands in defeat, "Fine! But, for what it's worth, you have my approval."

"Wow, Tony, I'm honoured." She said sarcastically before throwing him a cushion, no harm intended. She was actually happy he said that, one out of the three opinions she wanted, _needed_ , positive about Carol was positive, now she just had to wait for Steve and Bruce to meet her.

Natasha found a wise way to change the subject and left the living room to get the alcohol ready, because even though it was Tony hosting the party he would never do a thing to really organise one.

The first people arrived soon after she was done. They were actually not invited to the party, it was Sam and Scott, the friends of Tony's adoptive brother Bucky.

Sam was in the football team with Steve but he never had the chance to play, the blond saying he sucked, he was always on the bench. Scott was a guy Bruce kinda knew, partly because they both had a crush on Natasha, they talked a few time but she didn't know much about him.

Tony hated his brother, and even the word hate wasn't enough to describe how he couldn't stand to be in a room with him. With Steve and Bruce, Tony made it his mission to make Bucky's life a living nightmare, always pranking him, destroying his stuff or just calling him names.

Natasha liked the boy, he was nice and they shared the same origin, they were both Russian, adopted in their early years. Before it all went wrong between Tony and Bucky, the three of them were inseparable. Unfortunately, Natasha had to choose a side after the drama and picked Tony's, not that she was mad at Bucky for something. The redhead didn't like how Tony and his best boys acted around Bucky and often defended him but they didn't care and kept annoying him.

The more students arrived the more Natasha stressed came back, Carol was nowhere to be found, an hour after the party started. She waited at the door, her phone in hands in case the blonde sent her a text but she didn't. She was about to text her when she felt a soft touch on her arm, "Hey you."

Natasha jumped lightly before she realised who was next to her, "Oh, hey Angel."

Carol was dressed casually, a pair light blue jeans, a grey jumper under her jacket embroidered with the logo of the university. Natasha always found those jackets awful, the football players were always wearing them and it didn't suit them at all, but on Carol it was perfect, this piece of clothing was made for her.

"Sorry I'm late, appointment for my wrist." The blonde apologised, still standing outside of the house.

"No, it's okay, I'm glad you're here." Natasha grinned like an idiot, leaning against the door frame, not moving.

"You look beautiful, Red." Natasha smiled at the compliment, mindlessly reaching Carol's waist to pull her closer. She leaned towards her and kissed her cheek, "Thank you."

"So, you show me around or I do it myself." Carol said matching Natasha's grin.

"Mhm, yeah, follow me." Natasha replied. Taking Carol's hand, she pulled her in the living room and called her friends.

"Guys, this is Carol." Steve stood up and gave the blonde a warm hug, he had a genuine smile on his face - _two out of three_ \- "Nice to meet you, I'm Steve." He walked toward Tony and Bruce and stood behind them, his hands on their shoulders, "This is Bruce and Tony."

Carol shyly greeted them before glancing at Natasha, "You mind showing me where the bathroom is."

"Sure." Natasha smiled and took Carol by the hand.

Climbing the stairs to go to one of the bathrooms upstairs, Natasha felt Carol's hand escaping her hold and heard, "Oh god, I'm sorry."

Natasha looked back to see what happened and saw a familiar face, "Hi James."

"Natalia."

Carol gasped, "You are Bucky Stark, major in sea biology!"

"That's me," the brunet replied, not hiding his surprise, "how do you know me? Nobody cares about me."

"You are the TA, a friend of mine told me you were a genius." Carol said with a warm smile.

"Who's that?"

"Wanda Maximoff."

"Yeah, I know her brother."

Natasha was standing two stairs up from them, watching their exchange, her arms crossed to her chest. After a minute, she cleared her throat to interrupt their conversation. Bucky glared at her, not trying a bit to hide his annoyance, "It was nice to meet you, mhm?"

"Carol."

"Well, Carol, I'm sure Natalia can give you my number if you wanna talk more. I asked her to delete it but I can bet she didn't."

"Oooh-kay." Carol pouted, not understanding what was happening between Bucky and Natasha.

"James, come on!" Natasha exclaimed, she didn't want to fight with him, not again, especially not in front of Carol.

Fortunately for her, he didn't kept the conversation going, "Have a nice evening." he said and went down the stairs, opposite to where Natasha and Carol were heading.

"What was that?"

Natasha wasn't ready to share this part of her history and avoided the subject, "Long story, I'll tell you later. Shall we?"

Natasha led Carol to the bathroom and let her doing her business, waiting with her phone in hands. She checked the group chat she shared with her best friend, Bruce and the party host. The last two were planning something to annoy Bucky while Steve was missing.

[Tony]: Natalia, you up to replace blondie?

[Nat]: You know my answer, why you even asking.

[Nat]: and leave your brother alone

[Tony]: he ain't my brother

[Nat]: he was not that long ago

[Tony]: anyway, Bruce, you and me, garage now

[Bruce]: omw

Natasha shook her head, frowning, and put her phone back in her pocket, just when Carol got out of the bathroom.

"Let's go party!" The blonde exclaimed, pulling Natasha by the arm.

It was _the_ cliché of a college party, loud electro music, red cups in every hands, boys playing beer pong, couples making out on the sofa or in the corner of the room.

After three, or maybe was it four drinks, Natasha invited Carol to dance, hoping the girl wouldn't be a disaster. She quickly discovered that she was rather the opposite, the blonde had some pretty interesting moves.

The more they danced, the more they got closer, both provoking the other with a smirk or a wink as they followed the beat of the songs like pros.

After a move of her own creation, Carol stumbled and almost fell, but hopefully for her and the guy behind her who would have fallen with her, Natasha caught her in time and pulled her towards her. They ended up face to face, a few centimetres separating them, Carol panting, mixing alcohol and physical activity wasn't a good choice.

The upbeat music faded away to a softer one, perfect for a slow dance. Shyly, Carol stepped closer, wrapped her arms around Natasha and pressed their foreheads together. The redhead, her hands at each side of Carol's neck, smiled softly as the both of them started swinging from left to right and left again. She closed her eyes and focused on the beautiful melody playing in the background, feeling Carol's thumbs running up and down her lower back. She soon felt overwhelmed by her will to sort out her relationship with Carol as they kept on getting closer, plus the alcohol in her veins making her forget they were surrounded by people. Before the last chorus, Natasha wrapped her arms her the blonde's shoulders and nuzzled her nose as she leaned in to kiss her. Carol giggled and mirrored her doing, pulling Natasha by the waist to press their bodies together.

Their lips met when the chorus started, and all the world around them became just a vague memory. Natasha felt like she was melting, like herself and Carol were made to do this together, to kiss slowly and tenderly, their height difference just enough to make them feel good in their favourite position to kiss, Natasha with her hands up in the blonde locks, Carol keeping the contact of their bodies with her hands glued to Natasha's waist. They were so taken by the moment that they didn't realise the music had changed to another rhythmic one until a guy hit Natasha in the back as he danced.

Her cheeks turned red as they parted, just like Carol's when she looked and her and shamefully smiled. She took her hand and they left the dance floor for a less crowded area of the house.

They went upstairs and entered the first door they found but ran into someone again.

"Na- Natasha… hi." A boy said shyly, looking intimidated by the redhead.

"Oh, sorry Scott we were looking for an empty room." Natasha replied nicely, and the guy seemed shocked she remembered his name.

"Tony's room might be empty right now."

"Of course, thanks." She gave him a sympathetic pat on his shoulder and walked fast to Tony's bedroom, hand in hand with Carol, both girls giggling loudly.

Natasha opened the door to what was a hundred percent the biggest bedroom Carol had ever seen. She stepped inside and her gaze wandered around, taking all the informations it could get. She saw on her left a living room area with a big TV, almost as big as the one in the actual living room of the house, three sofas, on which Tony could probably fit all his best friends and even more. Further away he had a little kitchen with a fridge and a microwave oven. The blonde hadn't seen the kitchen of the house but she was sure Natasha's friend could do very well on his own here. On the right was a sort of laboratory, weird machines Carol imagined had been made by Tony himself because she had never heard of those. She kept looking around as Natasha pulled her gently toward one of the sofas but she still couldn't find a bed.

"Does he sleep in there or is he like a robot?" She said jokingly, hoping Natasha would understand her humour.

"There is a bed back there, don't worry, he's not a monster."

"Well, that's great, otherwise I would have had to save you from him."

Carol sat down and pulled Natasha with her, the redhead landing on her lap. Natasha cupped Carol's face, her thumb gently tracing her features, the other girl looking at her with nothing but love in her eyes, "did I tell you how beautiful you were in that jumpsuit?"

"You did," Natasha replied, rubbing the tip of Carol's nose with hers, a nice reminder of what happened earlier when they danced, "but say it again."

"You are amazingly, incredibly beautiful in that jumpsuit, Red."

Natasha leaned closer, her lips slightly parted, and stopped right before they met Carol's, "You look quite good yourself, Angel." she whispered and closed the ridiculously small gap that remained between them. It didn't take long for Natasha to take advantage of the height difference and deepen the kiss, she couldn't fight a smile as her tongue and Carol's met, fighting for dominance. She pulled away and grinned, her happiness coming in the way of kissing Carol properly. The blonde's grin as well, it was the same than the others before but this time Natasha thought that was the cutest thing she had ever witnessed, and she wanted to see it as much as possible.

Natasha leaned in and gave Carol a quick chaste kiss before sitting beside her on the sofa, her hands finding Carol's as they faced each other.

"Eh, I um.." she wavered, suddenly losing all her self confidence, "I was wondering… what is happening… between us I mean."

Carol raised an eyebrow and licked her lips, trying to figure out was Natasha meant.

Seeing her misunderstanding, Natasha clarified, "are we, like… dating?"

In a blink of an eye, Carol's face went from lost to joyful, "Do you want that?" she asked with hope in her tone.

"I mean, yes. Maybe it's kinda early, we haven't known each other for long I but definitely want more than a friendship with you. And it feels so good to be around you, I don't think I can take it to be just friends, you know?" When Natasha realised she was rambling, she found Carol's giggling like a schoolgirl, apparently she like that side of the redhead, "Sorry, um, what do _you_ think about this?"

"Having you as my girlfriend? I'd kill for that."

"Really?" Natasha said in disbelief, it had been so long since the last time someone she was interested in was interested in her too. She had a hard time believing it, even if the blonde had shown her attraction to her since the first day.

"Of course Red."

She didn't know what to reply, there was no best way to do so then kissing her again, and it was also the most pleasant way.

She put everything she had in her in that kiss, the safety, the happiness, how important and loved she felt around Carol, all of those feelings she hadn't experienced for such a long time, maybe ever, finally coming all at once, she needed to express them and did by channelling them into one tender kiss. It didn't make sense for her to feel that much after so little time, they met only two weeks ago, but she was sure of it and needed it show it. She thought she could kiss the blonde until the day she'd die and not being fed up by the softness and the warmth of her lips, it was like she was made to kiss Carol, the few times before or now, kissing her was perfect. Natasha could tell Carol was feeling the same by the way she kissed back, keeping it chaste but still with passion, one hand exploring Natasha's body, shyly caressing her thigh, while her other was still linked with Natasha's.

The redhead didn't understand how the situation got out of her hands all of a sudden, she found herself laying on her back, Carol on top of her, now kissing aggressively, her tongue slipping easily into Natasha's mouth. Maybe it was the way she pulled her by the neck, or was it her tongue brushing Carol's lower lip, probably both.

She didn't mean for it to escalate that way, especially after what they told each other, especially in Tony's room. It was nice to feel wanted though, the more they kissed the more Carol was gaining self-assurance, her hands not leaving Natasha's body, one cupping the redhead's jaw, the other roaming on her waist and hip.

The blonde broke the kiss for a few seconds, just long enough for their gazes to meet, eyes full of passion and arousal. As she leaned closer, Natasha saw Carol looking down just before she captured her lips. She felt her smirking into the kiss and wondered why, until the Carol's hand left her waist for the zipper of her jumpsuit, she slowly unzipped it, keeping Natasha busy so she couldn't stop her. The redhead shivered as Carol undressed her, feeling the cold of the air on her skin. Carol stopped at Natasha's belly button and slid her hand under the piece of clothing, softly caressing Natasha's abs.

It took Natasha's whole willpower to force Carol to stop, "Carol wait!" she breathed, taking Carol's hand in hers, away from her body and sat up, the blonde straddling her lap, "we can't.. do that."

"Why? You're not a virgin, are you? Not that it's a problem I just-"

Natasha shushed her with one finger on her lips, smiling softly, "No, silly. I just don't want our first time to be on Tony's couch, where he probably had sex with a _lot_ of girls. I want it to be special."

"Ew! Okay, the Tony having sex part completely turned me off," Carol replied with a laugh, "the rest was cute though." she added before kissing Natasha's cheek, lingering a little, the tip of her cold nose making Natasha shiver. She pulled away and zipped up Natasha's jumpsuit with a pout, apparently saddened that she would not see more of Natasha's skin of the night.

"Eh, I gotta show you something, come on!" Natasha exclaimed as she stood up and ran towards a sliding window. Carol followed her and, before she could realise it, they were standing on a balcony with view on the beach and the sea. The redhead walked a few paces to reach the barrier and lean on it, watching the beautiful immensity of water in front of her.

Hearing nothing but the noise from the party and the wind, Natasha looked behind her and found Carol dumbstruck, jaw dropped in the middle of the balcony. Natasha smirked, the blonde reacted just like she did the first time she saw this view. Realising Natasha was staring at her, Carol shook her head and joined her, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind.

"That's a hell of a view." she said quietly, pressing her lips on Natasha's temple.

"It certainly is."

They stood there for a while, watching the sea and the stars and moon up in the sky, keeping the other warm in a comfortable embrace, Natasha tracing circles on the back of Carol's hands. By the way Carol was hugging her and how she was standing, pulling Natasha against herself, her cheek pressed against her red hair, Natasha could tell Carol had something in mind that was bothering her. She could have waited for the blonde to talk to her when she was ready but this balcony was so isolated, they were sure they wouldn't be interrupted while talking about whatever subject Carol was going to broach.

"Hey, I can hear you thinking, what's going on?"

"I uh.. I can't make it next week, for our lecture. And probably won't be able to come for a while, my therapist asked to change my schedule so he could take an old lady on my usual appointment the Saturday evening, I couldn't say no."

"Oh, okay." Natasha eventually said, the words came out of her mouth without her thinking them, she didn't know how to react to what Carol told her. She was sad about that news of course, she was looking forward to their next lecture, there was some interesting stuff happening in the next chapters, she was thrilled to get Carol's reactions about it and it also meant she wouldn't see her, for how long, that she didn't know.

"I wanted to tell you earlier, but you seemed so happy to see me, I didn't want to fuck up the mood." Carol apologised, kissing Natasha's temple again.

"I- it's okay, we'll find a way.." Natasha murmured, she had more to say but a particularly big gust of wind stopped her, making her whole body tremble.

"Take this," she heard Carol saying, breaking the contact between them, "You're sexy in this but it's not made to be worn outside."

Natasha turned and saw Carol handing her her jacket. She put it on and immediately smelled Carol's scent overwhelming her senses. She took a deep breath and walked closer to her, her clenched hands and head resting against Carol's chest, "Can I keep it?"

Carol chuckled, wrapping her arms around Natasha to hug her tight, "Of course, you'll have a little bit of me with you."

"Thank you, Angel." That was just what Natasha wanted to hear. She needed to see Carol, and if that wasn't possible, she needed something that would remind her of the blonde, and what best for that than the jacket she was _always_ wearing above her T-shirts or sweaters.

F or the rest of the party, Natasha and Carol went down to the living room and sat on a sofa with Steve and Bruce, quickly joined by Tony and the girl he had a crush on, Pepper. They talked about a lot of various topics as the guests left one by one. Eventually, it was only the six of them in the room and Bucky and his friends in his bedroom, the rest of the house was empty and silent.

Around 4 AM, Natasha felt tired and left the living room with Carol to go to the bedroom she used the sleep in when she was living at Tony 's  place. She asked Carol to stay but the blonde refused, insisting on the fact that she had to be up early  and that she didn't want to awake Natasha by accident while leaving the room  during the morning .

Natasha was obviously disappointed, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Carol, considering they wouldn't meet at the library for their weekly reading of the book and hadn't plan anything else to see each other. She took at least ten minutes to say goodbye, telling Carol to be safe on the road between tight hugs and soft kisses.

She went to bed after Carol left but couldn't get herself to relax and fall asleep, her brain was hyper-functioning, imagining the worst scenarios. What if Carol had an accident while driving, after all, she had had a few drinks, maybe she was still drunk but didn't felt like it.  What if they couldn't find a way to see each other for a while. What if-

The sound of her phone ringing cut her trail of thoughts. She immediately took it and read the text she received. She sighed in relief, it was Carol, telling her she made it to the campus and was heading to bed.

With a deep breath, Natasha relaxed and let her head fall onto the pillow. It didn't took long for her to  fall into Morpheus' arms,  the corner of  her lips  drawing a small smile as the last thought crossing her mind was the image of Carol and her beautiful grin.


	4. Missing you is the worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw : violence, blood

Natasha woke up to the best text message possible.

  
  
[Angel 😇 ]: Natasha! My lecture this afternoon is cancelled!!! Meet me at the cafeteria at 12 sharp ❤️

  
  
This text brightened up her usually depressing Thursday morning. For three weeks she woke up knowing that she wouldn't see Carol later on the day and wanted to skip class and stay in bed.

  
  
After Tony's party, the two of them had struggled to see each other, now that Carol had her appointments the Thursday afternoon, they couldn't meet to continue the reading of the book.

  
  
They ran into each other on campus a few times, on their way to the dorms and in the corridors but they barely had the time to talk or kiss. Luckily they were not drowning under assignments and studying so they had the time to call. It became a ritual, before going to bed, Natasha would call Carol, not for too long, around twenty minutes, just enough time to tell her what she did during her day and for the blonde to do the same.

  
  
Their exams at the end of the semester was still their main focus, they could have skipped classes to see each other but they didn't for the sake of their success.

  
  
Even with the calls and the quick chats or glances across the corridors, Natasha missed Carol badly, she missed the way the blonde hold her when they hugged, her hands softly caressing her lower back when they kissed, Hell how she missed kissing her. But most importantly, she missed how good it felt to be in Carol's company, the happiness that radiated of her and all the joy and confidence she brought to the redhead.

  
  
With the idea of seeing Carol in mind, Natasha got out of bed and prepared herself for the day, a big smile on her lips. She took her stuff for her Russian literature class and put it in her shoulder bag, happily whistling. She greeted all the faces she recognised on her way to the lecture theatre. She was the only happy person in the crowd of students, all the others still had a sleepy face or looked neutral.

  
  
Oddly, the time passed really quickly, she wasn't that much focused on what the professor was saying, not that she needed to be, she could easily do the lecture herself. Half listening, she was thinking about Carol and how she would show her how much she missed her. It was stupid to think about that, she didn't know how she would react when she'd see her, but it was still nice to imagine the possibilities, each scenarios more harebrained than the one before.

  
  
She was even more surprised when the professor let her students leave early, it gave Natasha ten minutes to go to the cafeteria, minutes she didn't need because the cafeteria was next to the literature building. Knowing Carol was still in class, she thought it was a good idea to wait outside. She sent Carol her exact location, in an alcove at the corner of the building, a place where a lot of couples went to have some privacy.

  
  
At 12 sharp, just like Carol told Nat in her text, the blonde arrived, her features enlightened when she saw Natasha. She stood a metre away from her, with the smile Natasha loved so much on her face.

  
  
"Hi Angel."

  
  
"Hey."

  
  
Natasha took her hand and pulled her into a hug, holding her as hard as she could.

  
  
"I've missed you so much." Natasha heard Carol whisper in her ear and grinned, burying her face in the crook of Carol's neck, taking a big inhalation of her scent. She had her jacket and often slept with it, but it was not the same, having Carol in her arms was better, it was the best.

Natasha reluctantly pulled out of the hug, just to be able to see Carol's brown eyes, their usual sparkle shining brighter with sun reflecting on them. The smaller girl simply couldn't stop grinning, her hands cupping Carol's jaw, pulling her closer to press their foreheads together, her eyes closing by instinct to just enjoy the warmth of Carol. They stood in the alcove for a long time, Natasha couldn't say exactly how long, but she heard a lot of students passing by them, probably not noticing their presence. Natasha felt Carol moving and, before she could react, Carol's lips were on hers. She hummed as they kissed slowly, she had definitely missed the feeling of Carol's lips moving at the same pace as hers. With one step forward, Carol pressed Natasha against the wall, her hands warm and safe in the back pockets of Natasha's jeans. The redhead moaned as Carol squeezed her ass, feeling she would need more than kissing her girlfriend very soon if they kept doing like this. She tried to break the kiss but Carol followed her lips and captured them again, biting her lower lip as she did. Knowing Carol would want to deepen the kiss, Natasha tilted her head, giving her access to her neck, hoping she would be able to take the control of the situation. The blonde took the opportunity and kissed the sensitive skin of her neck, her hands not leaving their spot on her ass. With careful hands, Natasha took Carol's head and forced her to look at her, her thumbs running up and down her cheeks.

"You didn't lie, you really missed me!"

"Yeah, sorry. I got a little carried away." Carol took a short step back, releasing Natasha from her hold, but the smaller woman pulled her back toward her, tugging her hoodie by the pocket.

"I very much liked that but making out in public isn't my thing." their faces were centimetres away again, but this time Natasha knew she shouldn't tease Carol or they would end up doing what she said wasn't her thing, she just nuzzled Carol's nose with hers, _that_ was becoming their thing.

"It wasn't mine until a few minutes ago!" Carol giggled before kissing Natasha's cheek while her hands pulled the redhead closer by her waist.

Knowing what Carol wanted, Natasha snuggled into Carol's warm and strong body, the side of her head against her chest, "You cannot imagine how much I missed you, Angel." she murmured, tightening her hold around the blonde's midsection and buried her face into the hollow of her neck.

"About as much as I did, I suppose."

Natasha responded with a chuckle, "Yeah, probably something like that."

They kept hugged for a while longer, rocking slightly, just enjoying each other's hold, sort of compensating for all the time they couldn't meet up.

Carol stepped out of the hug shyly, looking hesitant, "Um… Shall we go eat?"

"Actually…" Natasha's fingertips found Carol's jaw, softly touching her skin, "why don't we skip eating and go to your room? I'm not hungry anymore." she added cleverly, suggesting the blonde she wanted her to kiss her again, somewhere where they could make out. Carol caught the hint and, with a fast motion, lifted Natasha off the ground and walked them both to her dorm, not giving a shit about the people glaring at them.

  
  
Opening the door of her room, Carol let go of Natasha and threw her bag on a bed, Natasha supposed it wasn't hers, and gently pushed the redhead on the other.

"How's your room mate doing? Wanda right?" Natasha asked, pulling Carol by the hand. The blonde sat beside her and kissed her temple, "You really wanna talk about this right now?"

"There's a lot of things I wanna do, and talking is one of them." Seeing Carol pouting, Natasha kissed her cheek with a little giggle, "Eh, we have a couple of hours, we can make out later."

"I vote for making out now!" Carol straddled Natasha's lap, her hands taking off her jacket, it was actually the one she gave her back at Tony's party. The redhead groaned but kissed back with passion and, for the first time since they got together, she was the one exploring her girlfriend's body. Her hands slid from Carol's back to her ass before pulling her closer, squeezing as she did, the blonde moaning in response. She then left her ass, one of her caressing Carol's thigh, the other sneaking its way under her sweater and shirt, goosebumps appearing under her touch. She pictured Carol's abs in her head, discovering every centimetres with her fingertips. Her hand then climbed along Carol's waist to her ribcage, her nails digging into the tense skin as the blonde bit hard her reckless tongue, trying to access Carol's mouth without any previous warning.

Natasha broke the kiss when she tasted blood in her mouth, "Look what you've done Angel." she muttered, sticking her slightly-bleeding-tongue out.

"Sorry!" Carol pecked her tongue, giggling like a child.

"You still haven't answered my question."

Carol sat at the end of her bed, her back against the wall, a pillow behind her to be more comfortable, "Wanda's fine, she and Bucky are inseparable now. And thanks again for giving me his number, he's a really nice guy."

"He is." Natasha said quietly, her voice full of sorrow.

Carol saw Natasha's sudden change of mood and gently tugged the fabric of her shirt and pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms around her waist form behind, Natasha sitting between her legs.

"What happened between you two? He doesn't even wanna mention your name."

A tear fell off Natasha's eye, "I really don't wanna talk about it.", she managed to say before a sob escaped her mouth. She wiped the tears away and curled up into Carol's body. The blonde pressed a soft kiss on her temple and whispered, "You know I'm here if you need to talk."

"I know, thank you Angel."

Carol leaned towards Natasha's clothed shoulder, giving it a quick kiss. Then her lips found their way up to her bare neck, jaw and cheek. She stopped herself from kissing the pink cheek a second time when the redhead tilted her head, giving her an access to her lips. Carol stared into the emerald eyes and nudged Natasha's nose with a quiet laugh. The redhead smiled, Carol being soft was very comforting, that was what she needed and she was glad the blonde could see that. After a last glance at the hazelnut eyes, Natasha was the first to give in and gently captured Carol's lips. It was passionate but slow, tender and romantic at the same time. She laced her fingers with Carol's, the blonde tightening her hold around Natasha.

They didn't last long, this position wasn't the best to kiss. Natasha tickled lightly Carol's skin, the back of her pointing finger running up and down under the blonde's chin. Carol responded with a smile and a lingering kiss on Natasha's cheek.

"Hey, you wanna read a little?" Carol whispered, breaking the silence.

Natasha nodded, Carol wanted to cheer her up, and asking her to read her favourite book would definitely do. She got on her feet and reached her bag, taking the book and her notes and sat back where she was before, the back of her head resting on Carol's chest, the blonde wrapping her arms around her waist. She pulled her knees up and put the book on her lap, that way Carol could see the lines, even though she couldn't understand what was written.

Natasha was so focused on explaining the story and Carol cuddling her that she totally forgot what she was sad about. They read for more than an hour but, too soon for them, an alarm interrupted their reading. Not recognising the ringtone, Natasha figured it was Carol's phone.

  
  
Carol took her phone and turned off the alarm, "Shhhit! I forgot about that." she cursed and tossed it back to the nightstand.

  
  
"What is it?"

  
  
Carol sighed loudly, "My appointment for my wrist is in thirty minutes, I gotta go, I'm so sorry."

  
  
Natasha changed position, sitting cross legs in front of Carol and kissed her cheek, "No, it's fine, go. You need to heal properly." she leaned in to kiss her cheek again but the blonde turned her head and their lips met instead. Natasha gasped and froze a bit, letting Carol laying her down on the bed, kissing her eagerly. She pushed Natasha's stuff off the bed, giving them more space as she slipped her tongue in the redhead's mouth. Natasha fought for dominance, stroking her hands into her blonde locks while Carol was working to take her shirt off. Feeling cold hands on her abs, Natasha came back to reality and broke the kiss, "Angel… wait.."

  
  
Carol opened her eyes and locked her gaze with Natasha's, her hands leaving her abs for her head, slipping a strand of hair behind her ear, "Sorry, I just… I really missed you and we finally had a moment together."

  
  
Natasha sat up and cupped Carol's cheeks, "You go there, I'll call you, okay? I'm sure we'll find a moment to see each other." she pulled her into a quick kiss, caressing her cheekbone.

"Okay." Carol got on her feet, picked up Natasha's book and notes, tucking them in her bag.

Natasha watched her, a little smile on the corner of her lips, "Tony is having a party this weekend-"

"Again?" Carol asked loudly.

Natasha chuckled, "He's had parties almost every weeks recently."

"I wish I could come but I have to study, Red, I'm sorry." Carol said with a sad tone, looking down at the ground.

Natasha stood up and took Carol's hands in hers, "Carol you need to stop apologising for putting your studies before me, we talked about this, it's okay." she brought a hand to her mouth and kissed its back multiple times while looking at Carol who was grinning from ear to ear.

When she was done, Carol pulled her into a hug and kissed her hairline, "You know, you really are perfect, Natasha."

"I know," the redhead chuckled, "now go to your appointment, I'll call you later."

They left together, since they were in Carol's room, and went separate ways at the exit of the dorms, after a long and bittersweet goodbye kiss, they didn't know when they would be able to see each other in the next days.

Two days later, Natasha left her dorm after a complete morning and afternoon of studying, dressed casually to go to Tony's party. With Carol not available to come, the only thing she wanted from this party was to spend a good moment with her friends, hoping Tony wouldn't want to prank Bucky again.

Bruce and Steve were already there when she arrived, and she recognised a car that was owned by one of Bucky's friend, probably Sam's, she couldn't imagine Scott driving, for the little she knew of him, he was very clumsy and too lazy to pass the driving test.

She went to the kitchen, pouring herself an orange juice in a glass and joined her friends, Bruce and Steve both sitting on the sofa, watching Tony doing tomfoolery.

"Guys! Tonight I wanna get _wasted_ , so please don't drink too much, but drink a bit." Tony announced with a loud and deep voice, standing on the coffee table of his immense living room, a can of beer in each hands.

"Take mine, we have a game next week, I have to be in good shape for the team." Steve didn't say it, but it was one of the most important game of the season, one that the whole campus would be spectating, his friends included. Natasha could tell he was stressing out about it but he seemed even more anxious than the usual, something else must be on his mind, something he hadn't told the redhead.

  
  
"You can take my part too, I don't want to drink." Natasha showed him her glass of juice, and he responded with a scowl as he crushed one of the can with his hand, apparently annoyed none of his friends would drink with him, since Bruce didn't drink at all.

  
  
"Missing Carol?" Bruce wondered, looking very interested, not an ounce of jealousy or sorrow in his tone.

  
  
"You cannot imagine how much I miss her," Natasha replied, looking right in his eyes, "I've seen her two days ago but I already miss her like we hadn't seen each other for months, it's stupid."

  
  
"It's not stupid Natalia, it's just love." Tony shouted, pointing at her, some drops of beer escaping the can because of his sudden and awkward motion.

  
  
Bruce laughed quietly, shaking his head, "What do you know about love, you're dating one girl a week."

  
  
Tony took a sip of his beer and burped, "It's not because I'm an asshole and a coward that I'm not falling for someone."

  
  
Natasha picked up the can he previously let fall on the ground and threw it at him, "Well, you better not do that in front of her, pull yourself together and make a move before someone else does it. Plus I'm sure Pepper likes you."

  
  
"You're maybe right, but tonight she ain't comin', so I can be as pitiful as I want." He said before finishing his other drink and left, surely to take some more.

Natasha didn't see Tony for quite some time after that. A bunch a students arrived all of a sudden, the house now full of horny young adults, dancing and drinking too much, enjoying the moment and the free booze.

With Bruce, they left the living room for the patio, Steve gone somewhere else, and sat on the sun loungers, the redhead watching the stars while Bruce was staring at her.

"Are you in love with her?" he suddenly asked, sitting up. Natasha did the same and inhaled deeply, "Bruce I don't wanna break your heart or some-"

"No no, it's not that. I really want to know, you look so happy when your are with her, for the little I've seen, and you're glowing when you talk about her."

Natasha couldn't fight a small smile, she was happy her friends were seeing how good she felt around Carol, how the blonde changed her. After a chuckle to herself, she spoke up, "Honestly, I think I am, and if that's not how being in love feels like, then I don't know anything about life."

Bruce grinned, it had been a really long time since the last time Natasha saw him with such an expression on his face, "Well, if that's the case, I'm really happy for you, Nat, you deserve it." he said taking her hands in his.

She was about to stand up and pull him into a hug when she heard screams inside the house. They both looked toward the entry and shared a glance, misunderstanding and surprise on their faces, and walked fast to see what was going on.

As they stepped into the living room, Natasha heard sound of struggle and more screaming, the voice of her best friend, "Tony stop, you're going to kill him!"

Bruce pushed the guests in front of them and Natasha gasped at the sight of what was happening.

Tony and Bucky were on the floor, fighting, actually Tony was punching Bucky and the brunet was trying to protect himself as much as he could, his forearms taking the worst of Tony's attacks. Natasha stood gaping, unable to move to separate them, too in shock to do anything. She was looking at Steve, on the ground as well, his nose bleeding. Sam was trying to stop Tony, joined by Bruce who used his strength from all the training he did at the gym and pulled Tony away from Bucky.

Held by Bruce from behind, his arms blocked by Bruce's strong ones, Tony shouted, "Get out of my house, you shitty idiots, what are you looking at!!"

With angry comments and boos, the students left little by little while Tony was still trying to escape Bruce.

Only remained in the house the Stark brothers and their friends, Scott running fast in the stairs with a first aid kit. Steve took care of Bucky's wounds and bruises while his friends took care of him. Bruce brought Tony outside, giving a surprised glare at Natasha on his way. She was still standing in the middle of the living room, watching the mess Tony had done, her brain malfunctioning. She could hear someone calling her name but couldn't react, couldn't talk, couldn't move, she was just standing, her breathing fast and shaky.

She wished Carol was there, nay, she wished she hadn't came to this party. She should have stayed in her room, studying, she should have proposed Carol to study with her, just like a couple would do. Yes, they would have been a distraction for one another and wouldn't have studied that much but at least she wouldn't be in the same situation as she was a couple of years ago, having to choose between her brothers, having to choose between James and Anthony. The only thing, person, she could think of was Carol, she wanted to be in her arms, she needed the blonde to comfort her, to hug her as hard as she could, she needed Carol to calm her down because she wasn't capable of doing it herself.

When the voice approached her, she looked right at its owner, her breathing hitched, "Natalia! Do something, call the cops!" Bucky said loudly, shaking her shoulders. He was trembling, probably because of the adrenaline still running through his veins, but he didn't seem mad, he was rather disappointed, expecting something from Natasha but still nothing.

"I'm sorry James, I can't." she muttered and ran outside, tears streaming down her cheeks. "FUCK YOU NATALIA." she heard and cried harder, still incapable of processing what happened.

Wiping her tears away, she walked toward Bruce, who was rubbing his temple, "Go help them, I can't face James." he nodded and gently patted her shoulder before leaving.

She took a deep breath and looked at Tony, the guy was laughing at the blood he had on his hands. Rage grew inside her, she ran towards him and pushed him, Tony almost falling on the ground as he stumbled, shocked Natasha would do such a thing, "How could you do that!? He's your brother, and mine! How could you!?"

"He's fucking my best friend, can you believe that? Steve is gay! I caught them making out in the bathroom, I swear they were going to bang if I hadn't come." Tony laughed hysterically.

"And what's wrong with that? If he's happy you should be happy for him, gay or not! I mean, you don't have a problem with me being bi."

"Come on, Natalia! You know damn well I don't give a shit about him being gay, I don't even care he didn't tell me. BUT WHY IN THE WORLD IS HE FUCKING BUCHANAN!" he kicked the closest thing to him, which was, fortunately for his foot, a cushion that had fallen from a sun lounger.

To Natasha's big surprise, Tony started crying, walking a few paces and sat on the ground. She stepped carefully towards him and sat beside him, she pulled him into a side hug and rubbed his back, "Why does he do that? He stole my parents and now my best friend. Why doesn't he find his own people for a change." Tony muttered, sobbing, wiping away his tears but there was even more of them falling off his eyes after that.

"He didn't take your parents. And you know he blames himself for what happened." Natasha tried to reason with him, but she knew it was a lost cause, Tony had made his mind when he hung up the phone call from the police, telling him his parents died in a car accident.

"I don't care, it's his fault, he forced them to go to his shit presentation about sea animals, he's responsible. He's lucky I'm not a bastard like him, I still let him live her beside what he did."

Natasha looked at him with a warm smile and handed him a tissue to clear his face from the tears, "Leave him be instead of always thinking about torturing him, I promise you he's doing it on his own."

"Maybe you're right!" Tony said, standing up, now sounding cheerful, "I'll just throw him out, he can stay at Steve's now."

"NO TONY! That's not what I meant!" She gripped his wrist to stop him but he escaped her.

"I know, but it's actually a good idea!" he winked.

Tony walked in the living room as if nothing happened, as if he wasn't drunk and not thinking straight, followed by Natasha, the redhead trying, in vain, to stop him, "Lads! I'll ask you to leave, except Bruce if you want to stay. You're not welcomed in this house anymore."

"What?" Steve raised an eyebrow, looking offended his best friend would ban him from his house.

"You are moving out," Tony pointed at Bucky, "I don't want to see you here, you don't deserve to live where they lived."

Bucky stood up from the sofa and walked towards Tony, his fists clenched, ready to fight the second round against his brother. Steve stopped him, taking his hand a mumbled something Natasha couldn't hear. After a heavy sigh the brunet locked his gaze with the emerald-eyed one and pleaded, "Natalia tell him he can't do that, please!"

Natasha wanted to say something but Tony answered faster, "Actually she can't say anything, I'm the only owner of this house and I'm 21, which means I can decide who lives here and I decided you couldn't. So, bye bye Buchanan."

Bucky's eyes filled with anger, Natasha had never seen him like this before, he looked like he could murder Tony and have no regret about it, "I hate you Anthony!" Bucky shouted, struggling against Steve's hold, the tall blond pulling him out of the house.

Natasha stared at them and, in a flash of courage, mouthed 'I'm sorry'. Steve saw her and glanced at Tony, and she knew he was telling her to take care of him, even though he must be mad at him right now. She watched the couple leave, followed by Scott and Sam who went take their belongings in Bucky's room- Bucky's ex room.

Taking her attention back to Tony, the guy had left, and if she was being honest she didn't care where he went. Entering the kitchen she saw Bruce cleaning, putting beer cans and plastic cups in a big bin bag. Wordlessly she helped him, going back to the living room to cleaning this area of the house. When she was done she put the furniture back where they belonged, the fight disturbing the usual placement of the sofas and coffee table.

Bruce didn't stay, he said he wasn't sure he could still be friend with Tony after what happened and encouraged Natasha to do the same. She could have done that, she should have done that, she should have taken Bucky's side after the fight, but she froze and didn't, so now she had to stay or she would lose both her brothers.

She went to sleep in her bedroom, thinking about everything that happened, wishing she could go back in time when Tony, Bucky and herself were twelve years old, when they were inseparable, when everything was perfect in her life.

Unfortunately for Natasha, that wasn't a possibility and she cried herself to sleep, imagining how her life would be if she still had her brothers, her parents and, in addiction to all that happiness, her girlfriend by her side.


	5. Please, forgive me for my weaknesses

The next Monday, Natasha started a new week as if nothing happened, going to her classes and studying after them. On the evening, she called Carol and discussed like they usually did, sharing what they did during their day, Natasha not talking about what happened at the party. She wanted to tell her, but not over the phone, she preferred telling her face to face, in the privacy of her room, and with all the time she needed to do so.

The next day, she called at the same time, around 10 PM, but Carol didn't pick up her phone. Natasha figured she was too busy studying or already asleep so she didn't insist and went to sleep after sending a text to the blonde, wishing her a good night.

During lunch break on Wednesday, she saw Carol from afar and waved at her with a big smile, but the blonde just responded with a glare, and then left the cafeteria. Natasha thought maybe she hadn't seen her, it was the only plausible explanation, why would she look at her like that, she had no reasons to be mad.

She shook the feeling off and went back to her routine, eating with her friends, well, friend, Bruce. Tony hadn't come to any class since the beginning of the week, Natasha nor Bruce had had news about him, not that they asked to have some. He wasn't welcomed at their table anyway, Bruce had made it clear he wouldn't talk to him for a while after what he did, maybe ever. Natasha still had mixed up feelings about it, she was mad at him obviously, but knowing that Bucky would never forgive her, she knew she had to keep contact with him if she wanted to have one member of her family still talking to her.

After lunch she went to her classes and then back to her room. On her way to the dorms building, she saw Carol talking with her room mate and ran towards her, glad she could see her, she wanted to tell her what happened now.

Seeing Natasha arriving towards her, Carol muttered something to Wanda, who left after a supportive look to the redhead. Natasha responded with a smile even if she didn't understand why the brunette would look at her that way and pulled Carol to the side of the building, so they wouldn't bother or be bothered by the other students entering the dorms.

"Hey pretty girl," Natasha gave Carol's lips a gentle kiss that the blonde didn't return, "you didn't see me earlier in the cafeteria?"

Carol took a step back, wordless in an awkward silence, staring at Natasha, her shoulder pressed against the wall. The redhead could tell something was wrong, the air around them growing heavier as Carol cleared her throat, "I did but I thought it was clear by the way I looked at you that I didn't want to see you."

Wide eyed, Natasha tripped over her words before making a logical sentence, "Carol I- I'm confused… um. What have I done? I don't understand?"

"Something you didn't do actually," Carol responded sarcastically, "like taking Bucky's defence at the party when his asshole of a brother beat the shit out of him and threw him out."

Natasha broke the eye contact, looking shamefully at the ground, "He told you."

Carol scoffed, "Yes he did, and what's even more surprising is that you didn't."

"Carol, please," Natasha reached Carol's hands, knowing it would be hard to get Carol to listen to her, "let me explain, I-"

"No!" the blonde exclaimed, taking another step back and aggressively pulled her hands out of Natasha's, the redhead yelping with surprise at the sudden motion, "I cannot understand, for the life of me, how you could take Tony's side, you disgust me." Carol said, emphasising on the word _disgust_ , looking one last time into Natasha's emerald eyes before glancing away.

"Carol.." Natasha cried hopelessly, the chances of Carol listening to her flying away as the blonde took another step back.

"Goodbye Red." Carol said with a sad tone and entered the building.

Natasha stood there, tears streaming down her cheeks, her hand on her mouth to muffle the sobs that escaped it. She wasn't sure what just happened, did Carol dumped her or was she just upset for now? She didn't know and that was what scared her the most. She was ready to open up to her, about her past, all that she had been through, her fears and insecurities, and what happened at the party, she wanted to tell her side of the story but Carol didn't want to hear it, she had made her mind just by hearing Bucky's side of it. Yes, Natasha had done the wrong thing by take Tony's side on this one, but she knew that and was annoyed with herself for it. She wanted to make it up to Bucky, she had wanted it for a long time but he never let her, and now Carol was doing the same, not letting her explaining herself. She could remember all her words in her head, how she emphasised on _disgust_ , it hurt so much, the word echoing in her head as a reminder that she screwed up.

Natasha hated herself for blowing up her relationship with Carol, she could have avoided that, even without picking Bucky's side, she should have told Carol right after it happened, even if it meant disturbing her sleep or her studying. Learning it from Bucky surely had made it worse, maybe Carol thought Natasha didn't trust her, maybe Carol would have had understand if Natasha had explained it all, the feeling of abandon that was always with her since the day she was born and how Carol filled that, how she made her happy and wanted, how she changed her. Maybe she would have understand why she froze when she saw her brothers fighting, but for now she was mad at her, she would not listen to her, and Natasha could do nothing but wait until the blonde decided otherwise.

All of a sudden, she felt the need to move and ran as fast as she could to her room, glad her room mate of two years hadn't been replaced when she left after the previous semester to go to South Africa. She entered the room and rolled herself into a ball, on her bed, her hands on her ears to mute the sound of her sobs.

The last time she cried that much was when her adoptive parents died. Back in her bedroom at Tony's place, she was crying in her bed with Bucky comforting her, gently rubbing her back, holding her in a tight embrace while Tony was identifying his parents' bodies at the morgue. After that she had cried herself to sleep a lot of times, either because she missed Howard and Maria or because of the feud between her brothers. But recently she hadn't, since she met Carol, she felt strong enough to fight her feelings and could fall asleep without a tear escaping her eyes, some night she didn't felt bad at all.

Tonight was not one of those recent nice and easy night, tonight she needed to cry, so hard her throat hurt and she had troubles breathing, she couldn't open her eyes, knowing that even more tears would fall from them if she did.

She didn't know for how long she stayed awake crying but it was probably her new record.

She woke up the next day, the sun high in the sky enlightening her room, awakened by a loud knock on her door.

"Natasha, please open the door, I know you're in there. I went to your literature class and the professor told me you didn't show up."

Looking at her phone, Natasha realised it was past midday, she had missed her only class of the day, not on purpose, she had forgotten to turn on her alarm.

"Nat, come on, Bruce told me he didn't see you at lunch, I even called Tony." she knew it was her best friend behind the door, she recognised him by the way he knocked, but she hadn't the strength to get out of her bed to open the door.

"I'm not sure it's locked." she said, hoping he would hear her. He obviously did because he tried the knot and entered the room, his smile fading away as he saw her tired and sad face, "Natasha what happened?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside her.

Thinking about yesterday's conversation made Natasha's heart ache and she couldn't fight the tears that was threatening to fall off of her eyes. Seeing her in so much pain, Steve wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight.

"I told Bucky he should let you tell her what happened but she asked so many times why he had bruises, he cracked. I wasn't there when he told her but I guess by the way you are that she took it badly." Steve said supportively, but it didn't make the pain any less unbearable.

"I think she broke up with me." Natasha sniffled, wiping away her tears.

"Are you sure of that? I saw her yesterday afternoon, she didn't seem like someone about to break up with her girlfriend." Steve was trying the best he could to cheer the redhead up, but everything he said had no impact on how Natasha felt. Aware of that, he kissed her forehead in a vain way to make her feel better, "I'll see her before the game tonight, I can try to talk to her if you want?"

Natasha shook her head and sat up, "No, leave her alone. She doesn't want to talk to me for now, don't force her, it'd make things worse." As much as she appreciated that Steve wanted to help, she knew it would be useless. Carol was, as she discovered through their phone calls and dates, quite a stubborn girl, and it was very unlikely that she would listen to anyone about that matter.

"Okay." Steve sighed and stood up, "You coming to the game tonight right?" he asked with a hopeful tone and small smile.

Natasha really wanted to go, but there was high probability that Carol would be there, "I don't know Steve, just the idea of seen her is killing me, if I actually see her I think I might pass out."

"Please try, for me. I really need you in the crowd for this one." the blond pleaded, making his cutest puppy face.

Natasha chuckled, hiding her half smile by looking away, "I'll see if I feel better during the afternoon but I can't promise anything."

"Thank you, Nat. So, I guess you're not coming to the gym with me either." her best friend demanded, his hand on the door knot, ready to leave.

"Definitely not. I haven't shower in a day, I need an at-least-one-hour-long shower."

"Oh, so that explains why it smells like feet in here." he joked as he opened the door. Hopefully for him he had good reflex and dodge the pillow that Natasha threw at him before giggling, "Eh, fuck you!"

"That's what I wanted to see." he pointed at her grinning and came back into the room. He sat next to her again and nudged her arm.

"Thank you for coming Steve." Natasha whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Always there for each other right!?"

"I kinda fail that last weekend though."

"No you didn't. At your place, I would have done the same. They put you in the worst position possible and you are the one whose the most hurt every time they fight, not reacting is even the best way you could react."

"Thank you… I wish Carol could see that." Natasha was staring at the wall in front of her, its whiteness reminding her of the void she felt when Carol talked to her the day before, the emptiness she felt when the blonde left her.

Once again trying to reassure her, Steve took her hand and squeezed it gently, "She will, give her time." he said and got on his feet, walking towards the door. He opened it and turned around, giving Natasha one last smile, "See you tonight!" Steve said with a wink and a shit eating smirk.

Natasha chuckled, "See you tonight."

Feeling hungry, starving even, Natasha got out of her bed and changed her clothes, she hadn't undress the day before, too sad to think about that. The cafeteria was not closed yet but there would be too many people, and the small probability of seeing Carol there made her decide to buy snacks from the vending machines in the corridors of the dorms building. She only had a few healthy choices and opted for a sandwich and a bottle of apple juice, those were probably the best she could find, the rest being candies, chocolate bars and sodas.

She went back to her room and realised that Steve was right, it didn't smell good in there at all. Laughing at herself, she opened the curtains and widow to air the room and changed the still-wet-from-tears bed sheets. After eating she went to the shared bathroom and took a long shower, cleaning her body and her hair. Going back to her room, Natasha thought she should study her Russian literature to compensate the four hours she missed this morning.

As she took her stuff, she saw the book she was reading to Carol and suddenly felt sad, their last exchange coming back to her mind. A few tears streamed down her cheeks but she quickly pulled herself together and started studying. She tried her hardest to keep her focus but couldn't quite get Carol out of her head. After an hour of struggling to concentrate, she decided she had studied enough and put her book and lessons away.

Still tired from the few hours of sleep she had, the redhead lied on her bed to take a nap. She settled an alarm for six thirty, she had rendezvous at 7 PM with Bruce to eat outside of the campus before going to the game at 9.

Fortunately for her well-being, she managed to fall asleep rather quickly, even if she did cry a little thinking about the tall blonde. She didn't dream about her though, nor about her brothers, it was an undisturbed restful nap.

Dressed in adequate clothing for the football game, Natasha took her bag and left her room, only to come back a few second later to take Carol's jacket. It was stupid of her to get attached to it, but it reminded her of the good moment she had with Carol, before it all went wrong with a two-minutes-long conversation. She thought that, in case the saw the blonde, she could give it back to her, and if she didn't, at least she would have had a great time at the game in the warmth and scent of Carol's jacket.

Joining Bruce at the restaurant he used to work, he hugged her tight, apparently aware of her situation with Carol. Oh, how she needed this affection, she was grateful to have friends like him and Steve, friends that knew everything about her and, despite that, still supported her.

"Steve told me you and Carol had a fight, I'm sorry Nat." Bruce said as he broke the hug.

"Can you call it a fight when she did the yelling and I just stood there crying?" Natasha said sarcastically, looking around the restaurant to find the right place to sit.

They sat opposite to the entry, next to a widow, Natasha loving to watch the world advancing while she ate. "What did she say exactly?" Bruce asked as he skimmed through the menu.

"Bucky told her what happened at the party and she can't understand why I took Tony's side. She…" Natasha took a deep inhalation, the words of the blonde still fresh in her memory, "She said she was disgusted by me, which… hurts a lot." she added, her throat tightening as she chocked a sob.

Bruce let go of his menu and took Natasha's hands in his, "Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Natasha."

The redhead took another deep breath and cleared her throat, trying to pull herself together, "I can't blame her honestly, she doesn't know me, she doesn't know it would hurt me that much."

"You're not mad at her?" Bruce was intrigued, Natasha could see it on his face.

"I mean, a little, because I think she said it to hurt me, but, like I said she could never imagine how bad I took it."

"What do you wanna do about it? I'm sure the love didn't disappear."

Natasha scoffed, she was almost sure she couldn't forget Carol even if she tried her hardest to, "The love is definitely still there. I want to tell her everything, I was about to actually, but it went sideways before I could. For now I think I should leave her alone, and hope she'll come back to me."

"Wise decision, and I'm sure she will come back." Bruce said, waving his hand to call the waiter.

"Can we talk about something else, I really don't wanna cry again today."

"Yeah, of course, let's order!"

Changing the conversation to more joyful subjects, Natasha and Bruce ordered and ate casually, sharing a big portion of fries. The upcoming game was soon being broach, they both knew it was an important game for Steve, he wanted to be recruited by a professional team and winning this would mean I would he would give him a lot of opportunities. There would be recruitment consultants watching the game, and Steve had the level to get their attentions, he just needed to be focus.

Wanting the best seats possible, they left pretty early and went to the field, hearing some students already there, talking about their expectations for the game. Climbing the stairs of the bleachers, they came face to face with someone they hadn't seen during the week.

"Hey guys!" Tony said, as if nothing happened at his party the weekend prior, "I kept the best seats for you."

"Tony what are you doing here?" Bruce asked aggressively.

"Steve called me this morning, he asked if I could come to the game, he needs supports. And he was worried about you by the way." he pointed at Natasha, a weird look on his face. Natasha deduced Steve hadn't told him she and Carol had a fight, the blond wasn't sure of that at the time but he had guessed it.

"You sitting or what?"

With a groan, Bruce sat next to Tony and Natasha next to Bruce, at the end of the row.

"You're girl's not with you Natalia." Tony asked with a laugh, definitely not aware of their current quarrel.

"You better shut up." Bruce muttered, his fists clenched. Natasha's hand landed on his to calm him, "She's mad at me for taking your side."

His smug smile disappeared in an instant, "Oh… um… sorry I…"

"Just shut your mouth and watch the game, please." Natasha ordered firmly, raising a hand to stop him from retorting, "I'll do that." he finally replied, looking at the for-now-empty field.

Quickly, numerous of students and professors for the university filled the seats. Natasha saw some dudes in expansive suits sitting on the seats the closest to the field and figured it was the people that came to recruit players. Soon after their arrival, she saw Bucky and Scott, dressed with the colours of the university, followed by Carol and her room mate. She discreetly watch them, hoping they wouldn't come to the same side of the bleachers as her and Bruce but they did. She looked away as Bucky and Scott passed by her, trying to hide so Carol wouldn't see her with Tony but she missed Carol so much that she couldn't keep her gaze away from the blonde. She looked at Carol, the blonde rolling her eyes and heard, "Unbelievable."

She wanted to say something, but Carol, not knowing Natasha's past, wouldn't understand why she was seating with Tony, why she was still talking to him. Carol and her friends sat a few rows above Natasha, Tony and Bruce, the blonde throwing glares at Natasha when she dared to look back at their direction.

The game started, the whole crowd standing up to applaud the arrival of the players on the field, Bucky screaming Steve's and Sam's name, the latter had finally the opportunity to play. Natasha tried to focus on the voice of the announcer and the loud clapping of the audience but a feminine voice from behind her continuously hit her eardrums and she couldn't fight her will to look behind to see her, happy and smiling, damn how she missed that smile. Every time Natasha would glance at her Carol look back, daggers in her eyes.

At the half time period, the home team was winning, the whole crowd was cheery and loud, but Natasha had a hard time keeping her calm, the noise still not enough to cover the voices of the blonde and her friends, the four of them enjoying their time, singing songs to support the team.

After a few minutes of break Natasha saw Carol going down the stairs and followed her, not sure what she would do if the blonde saw her. At the end of the stairs Natasha grabbed Carol's hand without second thought. Carol looked back and frowned as she realised who was holding her hand. Seeing her annoyance, Natasha let go of her hand, "Hey, I don't wanna fight, I just want to know if you want to get your jacket back?" she said, showing her that she was still wearing her jacket.

Carol was one step lower than Natasha, but still the same height as her, their faces very close for two people on bad terms, too close if you ask Natasha. Carol, after a quick look at the piece of clothing, let out a small breathy laugh, "Keep it Red, as I said, with it you have a part of me, and again you're only wearing a shirt underneath it when it's freezing out here."

Natasha hummed to acknowledge Carol's words, but she lost herself in her eyes, she had seen them the day before but they didn't look like they usually did, surely because the blonde was angry, her eyes were dark and full of rage. But now, she was staring at her with her shining hazel eyes, the corners of her lips tugged into a smile, Natasha couldn't fight the urge to smile back. Suddenly, Carol saying her name- nickname- brought her back to reality, "Red, I think Bruce is calling you."

Natasha looked in direction of her friends and saw Bruce waving at her, asking her to come back to her seats.

"I um… I should go. And um, thank you… for the jacket." she stammered. Carol replied with a nod and left, Natasha watching her until she disappear in the crowd.

She climbed the stairs and sat at her seat, "Sorry, some asshole wanted to take your spot and-"

"That was weirdly soft from someone mad at you." Tony cut Bruce off, smirking.

"For the love of God, Tony, shut the fuck up." Bruce shouted, his hands in position to punch him. Natasha didn't react, her head in the clouds from her last exchange with Carol, maybe there was hopes for them, sooner than she had thought.

"You know what, I'm just gonna leave. Pepper's down there, I probably already blew up my chances with her after what happened last weekend, I'm sure she heard about it so I'm gonna ask her out, at least I'd try."

Natasha watched him leaving, hoping he wouldn't miserably fail at courting his crush.

For the next quarter of the game, Natasha was as happy and cheery as the other members of the audience, chanting and clapping when Steve and his team mates scored points. She often looked back at Carol but the blonde never glanced to her, and Natasha wondered what happened between the moment she left her and the bottom of the stairs and when she came back, it seemed like she was seeing Natasha but she wouldn't look at her. The redhead didn't understand, she thought they had a moment back there, but maybe she misinterpreted it. As the game advance, Natasha was more watching Carol than the players on the field, her face saddening every time she would see Carol glancing in her direction, but not looking directly at her.

In the middle of the last quarter, she couldn't bare the other's girl attitude and left the bleachers, crying the second she knew nobody could see or hear her. She bent down and leaning against the wall behind her, taking her head into her hands, trying her hardest to calm down. She hated herself for hoping things would get better that easily with Carol, she knew it would take time but she kept her hopes high and now she was suffering because of it.

After a few minutes of crying, she heard footsteps coming to her location, "Natasha?" a voice she didn't recognise asked, only a few metres away from her.

"Whoever it is, leave me alone!" she shouted, hiding her tearing face behind her long red hair.

"Um, sorry, I'm Wanda, Carol's room mate. I just wanted to apologise for her behaviour, Bucky and I told her to stop being a bitch with you, but you know, she's Carol, she's stubborn."

Natasha scoffed, finally looking at Wanda, "Yeah, that she is."

The brunette offered her hand to help Natasha standing up, "She'll come around, just give her time." Wanda started, giving the redhead a tissue so she could clear her cheeks from the tears they were covered with, "I know it's a lot of me to ask, you are the one suffering right now, but I can see you love her, and trust me she loves you, she misses you but she needs to be mad for a bit longer, she'll soon realise that she was a dumbass, talking to you like that."

"You sure about that?" Natasha asked shyly.

"Yeah, I've learn to know her, she can't stay mad for long. And if she doesn't come to you soon, don't worry, we'll force her to, she has some difficulties to admit when she's wrong."

"Why would you do that, after what I did to Bucky?" Natasha was confused, Carol had told her Wanda and Bucky were now inseparable, why would she help a person that made him suffer.

"He told me about your past, I hope you don't mind," Natasha shook her head, "so I understand. There's probably more than what he told me but that's none of my business, it's your life and you share it with the people you want."

"I wanted to tell her," Natasha admitted, "about my life, I was coming to tell her everything, what Bucky told you, the rest, the party, I wanted to say it all."

"Well I'm sure she'll be happy to listen to you, whenever she decides to stop the drama act." Wanda said before giving a comforting tap to Natasha's shoulder.

"Thank you Wanda. I really needed this."

"No problem. I'll see you around!" Wanda exclaimed with a cheerful tone and went back to watch the game.

Natasha hesitated, she could go back too, but she wasn't in a state of mind to see Carol, so she decided to go to her room. She sent a text to Bruce, asked him to congratulate Steve for her and walked to the dorms. She arrived there, changed into her pyjamas and lied down on her bed, her last thought by Carol as she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not hesitate to give me you're thought in the comments, i love reading them!


	6. There's a few things I need to tell you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of attempted suicide

One week after the game, Carol had still not said a word to Natasha. Since their moment at the half time period she had kept her distance, and the redhead almost hadn't seen her, even from afar around the campus like she usually do. She wondered if Carol had taken alternative routes to navigate between her classes, it was quite the childish behaviour but it was her style and at least it gave Natasha some time to think about something else than the blonde. She knew the more she'd see her, the more she would think about her, so, in the end, it was win-win, she could clear her head and Carol could, well, do whatever she wanted to do.

Not having her around was still really hard and, even if she was not a hundred percent of the time in Natasha's head, she was still her main thought. The tennis player was the first thing she'd think of when she'd wake up and the last when she'd fall asleep. This situation reinforced Natasha's feelings, she knew she had to be totally honest with Carol if she wanted to be with her, because she was madly in love with her and lying to her was not a possibility if she wanted to have a healthy relationship with her.

The Friday morning, in the middle of a class, Natasha received a text from an unknown cellphone number. She ignored it, concentrating on what the professor was saying, but she was still intrigued about it, she wondered who it was.

The first thing she did when she left the lecture theatre was to take her phone out of her pocket to read the text.

[Unknown]: Hi Natasha, it's Wanda. Bucky gave me your number.

Natasha scoffed, she thought Bucky had deleted her number, or at least that's what he always said he did. Without hesitation, she text her girlfriend's room mate back.

[Natasha]: Hello Wanda! What's up?

She kept her phone in her hand on her way to the cafeteria, awaiting for Wanda to text her back but she didn't. For the whole time she was eating with Bruce and Steve, her phone on the table just in case, or later on the afternoon in class, nothing. She thought that, if it really was urgent, Wanda would contact her, so it must not be that important.

She left her last class and went to the dorm with still no news from Wanda. She showered and changed into more comfortable clothes, sweatpants and tank top, before going back to her room, buying a sandwich from the vending machine on the way.

Midway through her dinner, she received the text she expected hours ago.

[Wanda]: I've got something for you, can you come to my room?

Natasha didn't think twice and walked to the Wanda's room, putting on her jacket as she closed her door, not thinking that Carol could, was probably, there. She ate some more of her sandwich on the way and threw the rest in a bin when she saw Wanda waiting for her in the middle of the corridor, the brunette looking a bit tense.

"Ah! There you are. You ready?"

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Ready for what exactly?"

"You gonna walk in there and tell her everything. She is so miserable and sad without you, I can't support her mood anymore. She is so irritated about everything I do, I can't even breathe without bothering her."

"Oh! Wow! Okay, um…" Natasha suddenly stopped her pace, leaning against the wall next to the door of Wanda's and Carol's room, "let me like, two seconds to prepare myself."

"Sure! Just so you know, I've got her keys, and mine so you'll be locked in the room, because I know if I don't do that she's gonna leave."

"Okay that's more um…" Natasha took a deep breath, locked in a room with an angry Carol, what could go wrong, "okay I'm ready."

"Good luck Natasha." Wanda said quietly with a supportive smile and opened the door.

Without asking, Wanda pushed Natasha inside and locked the door behind her, "Danvers you better listen to her or I'll kick your ass!" the brunette shouted through the wooden door.

The room was dark, only the light from the screen of Carol's phone and the last rays of the sun enlightened the room. The blonde didn't move a tiny bit, she was sitting on her bed with her phone in her hands, probably reading something. Natasha didn't know where to start, it wasn't the easiest conversation and, oddly, she hadn't imagined it a thousand time in her head, she thought the words would come alone, but there she was in front of the woman she loved and nothing would exit her mouth. She just stood there, her hands in her back, watching Carol doing whatever the thing she was doing.

A couple of minutes passed and neither of them said a thing. Carol eventually grew impatient, her sock-covered-foot beating a fast rhythm on the mattress.

"Okay, I'll take the bait! What do you have to tell me Red?" The blonde sighed, finally getting her eyes off her phone.

Their gazes met and there Natasha knew what she had to say and how to say it. She took a sharp breath, walked to Carol's bed and sat on it, one foot under her thigh. She tapped the bedsheets, asking Carol to come to sit next to her. The other girl obliged, leaving her phone on the nightstand and waited, analysing Natasha.

"I um…" she coughed, feeling her throat tightening, her emotion already making it hard, "Last week when I came to see you I wanted to tell you things, that I haven't said and that you still don't know about." the red head started, her eyes incapable to match Carol's gaze, she just stared into space in the direction of her motionless hands on the bed.

"You were not coming to tell me about the party? Great!" Carol laughed.

"No Carol, I was also coming for that but…" She knew she had make eye contact to make her understand what was happening in her head, she had to let go, to stop fighting her emotions and show them to the blonde. Natasha forced herself to look into Carol's eyes, her heartbeat fastening and her palms sweating up when the emerald gaze met the hazelnut one, "Listen there's a lot you don't know about me and I think you need to hear those things to understand why I reacted like I did at Tony's."

"Okay, well, go ahead, enlighten me!" As she said that, Carol leaned towards the nightstand to turn on the lamp. Natasha couldn't fight a little laugh, "What, I can do some enlightening myself!" Carol responded, her smile back on her face. God, how Natasha had missed that smile.

Her smile disappeared from her face when she saw Natasha's, the smaller woman concentrating on how she was going to tell her story, "As you know I was born in Russia, I was abandoned by my parents, I don't even know their names. I've lived in orphanages for nine years and um, since the first memory I have from there I've always felt like I wasn't enough for the people I love, I always felt, well… abandoned. I didn't have many friends back there, I was shy and I moved a few times, I lost the couple of friends I had every time I changed orphanage. I grew up scared to get attached to people, knowing that I would lose them but then Tony's parents adopted us, James and me." A smile formed on Natasha's face, the redhead remembering how happy she was when she got the news that a couple was there to take her to her new home.

"I finally felt happy, I had a family, I had two wonderful brothers and the most loving parents of the world and I knew they would not leave me or I would not have to leave them." her smile grew bigger as some memories of her first days in the US with Bucky and Tony came back to her mind.

"When they died, two years ago, Tony took James responsible for their accident, because they were going to his presentation about sea creatures. They were not supposed to go, but he was so desperate to be alone, so scared that nobody of the family would be there to support him that they accepted in the end." There, the first of numerous tears fell off her eye, followed by a short sniffle but her smile didn't leave her, she forced it to look brave in front of Carol, as much as she wanted to fall in her arms.

"They could- cannot stand each other and didn't accept that I'd keep talking to the both of them so I had to choose between, they made me choose, both of them. At first I couldn't, I couldn't lose one of my brothers but they both said that if I didn't they would both stop talking to me so I chose, I had to." That memory erased her smile, and replace it by sorrow. She sat up straight, her hands landing on Carol's. She removed them from Carol's but the blonde took them back, caressing the back of her fingers with her thumbs.

"I suppose you wonder why Tony. Well, I had lost my parents, and I was closer to Tony's friends than James', especially Steve, so I thought Tony was the right choice, I'd have more friends to compensate to lost of people I love but it was never the same and my insecurities came back. I had never felt so alone in my life, yet I was surrounded by people, hundreds of people I didn't know, not giving a fuck about me. Tony wasn't the Tony I met when we were nine, after his parents died he became cold and it was like I had lost all my family, thing I thought was impossible. After that I tried to apologise to Bucky, to explain why I chose Tony but he never let me talk and that was my low point. I um…" for the fist time she looked away, ashamed that she ever wanted to do such thing to herself. She cried more tears as she remembered how bad she felt back then.

She cleared her throat, "I was planning on stopping everything, I was done with life, I wanted to die, but Steve discovered it and became more present for me, he promised me it would get better and it did." Carol, realising that Natasha wanted to take her own life, gasped, louder than she thought she would. Natasha squeezed her hands with a reassuring smile before moving closer to her.

"When I met you everything changed, I felt good again, you were interested only in me, you were not talking to me because you wanted to get close to my rich brother. You brought me joy, a reason to live. You are, or were, genuinely interested in me."

  
  
Carol let go of one of Natasha's hand to cup her cheek, "I never lost interest in you."

  
  
Natasha chuckled, "Well, you could have fooled me last week."

  
  
"I know, sorry." Carol shook her head, laughing quietly, "Why are you telling me all this, Natasha?"

  
  
"I want you to know everything about me, I want you to know who I am, I want you to trust me, because I'm in love with you, and if I have to lose you then I want to be sure I didn't everything in my power to try to keep you with me." Another tear escape her eyes as she realised she just told Carol she loved her, the word came out of her mouth so naturally she almost doubted she had really said them.

  
  
Carol wiped away her tear, "Nat-"

  
  
Natasha cut her off, "You don't have to say anything right now, I get it if you need time to-"

  
  
"Natasha.." Carol whispered, leaning dangerously closer, "I love you too."

  
  
Natasha didn't expect Carol to say it back, not after that whole week of silence. She couldn't fight her happiness and the grin that came with it from enlightening her face, she had dreamt to hear those words, and the blonde just said them. She felt the urge to kiss Carol and gave in instantly, she had thought she wouldn't be able to kiss her again, she couldn't delay it any longer. She needed to kiss her girlfriend, desperately, pulling her closer to feel her, craving for all the contact she lacked during a week.

  
  
"Say it again." she said as they broke the kiss, pressing their foreheads together.

  
  
"I love you." Carol replied before giving Natasha's lips a quick kiss, "I love you." she repeated, both her words and action, "Я тебя люблю."

  
  
Natasha didn't kiss back this time, too shocked by Carol's sudden knowledge of Russian, "Where did you learn that?" she stammered, not able to hide her surprise.

  
  
"In the book, I wanted to know the end of the story and, apparently," Carol smirked, "there is an English version of it in the other library of the campus."

  
  
Natasha looked away to hide her shameful laugh, the blonde had discovered how she tricked her to have a date with her, but she wasn't upset about it, and let the redhead know with a gentle kiss on her temple, "You finished it?" Natasha asked, gazing back into Carol's eyes.

  
  
"No, I couldn't. I couldn't finish it without you." Carol admitted softly, her cheeks turning red.

  
  
"Dammit I love you even more now." Natasha replied before pushing Carol onto the bed and straddled her hips. She leaned over her, the blonde waiting for her to do the first move, firmly gripping Natasha's jacket. They both hummed with pleasure when their lips finally met, arousal running through their veins as they deepened the kiss, Carol pulling Natasha even more closer, her hands sliding under the redhead's clothes, the electrifying feeling of her fingers on Natasha's skin making the Russian born girl shiver. Natasha fought for dominance, stroking her hands into Carol's hair to get a better angle to slip her tongue into Carol's mouth.

As much as she wanted to keep going, Natasha pulled away when she heard a breathy moan from Carol, knowing that she and the blonde would need more soon. And, if she was being honest, Natasha was not in the mood for that, she sure would give herself to Carol one day, but not right after they reconciled.

"I know you really wanna see me naked but you'll have to wait for that Angel." Natasha said with a smirk, slipping a strand of hair behind Carol's ear to try to fix the mess she made.

  
  
"It's fine, don't worry about me." Carol assured, changing position to lay on her side. Natasha did the same and lied comfortably beside her girlfriend, so close to her that the tip of their noses brushed each other when they inhaled.

They gazed into each other's eyes, soft smiles not leaving their face. Natasha eventually closed her eyes before tucking her head under Carol's chin.

  
  
"Natasha, I'm sorry about what I said to you, I didn't know how insecure you were, I wish I had known," Carol whispered in her ear, tightening her hold around Natasha.

Natasha responded with a kiss on Carol's neck, "It's okay Angel, I deserved it."

  
  
"No you didn't." Carol broke the embrace, looking right into Natasha's dark green eyes, "I wasn't aware of everything, I thought I could judge you but I couldn't, I shouldn't have said those things, I should've listen to you when you wanted to talk to me, but I didn't and I'm sorry." The blonde felt really bad for what she said, Natasha could see it in her wet eyes and her trembling voice.

  
  
She cupped Carol's cheek with her hand and pulled her into a compassionate kiss, her thumb wiping away the tear that fell off the blonde's eye when she closed them, "It's okay Carol, I'm fine now, I forgive you."

  
  
"I wanna help you Natasha, what can I do?" Carol sounded genuinely concerned by Natasha's well-being, and surely learning about her past made her realised Natasha really needed her.

  
  
"You're here, that's enough, that's all I need."

"So you um…" Carol wavered and Natasha knew immediately what she wanted to talk about, "attempted suicide?"

Natasha was fine talking about it, especially with Carol, the blonde deserved to know why she thought about ending her life and the redhead was even glad she showed interest in her dark past, "I didn't had the time to hopefully, thanks to Steve but um, yes, I was thinking about it."

"Natasha, I'm so sorry." It hurt Carol more than Natasha had imagined it would, but it showed her how much Carol cared about her.

Natasha gave Carol's cheek a lingering kiss on the cheek to thank the blonde, "I want you to know that since you entered my life I haven't think about it, it crossed my mind even with the support of Steve and a therapist but you made me this idea go away, you made me want to live, you gave me a reason to carry on, you are my life Angel."

Carol responded with a quiet giggle before kissing her. She pulled away with her typical grin, "And you are mine, Red. I love you." Natasha kissed her again, keeping her eyes closed when she broke the kiss and pulled the bedsheets up to cover their bodies, letting the blonde know that she was staying there for the night. She wrapped her arms around Carol and tucked her head in the crook of her neck. The blonde hold her tight, her scent intoxicating Natasha's senses, her last memory before falling asleep being a soft kiss on her forehead, her whole body relaxed in the warmth of Carol's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Я тебя люблю (Ya tebya lyublyu) : I love you
> 
> I wanted to put some more explainations about Carol's reaction in this chapter but it didn't feel right so it will be in the next one.  
> 
> 
> Also, funny detail I realised writting this is that I often finish a chapter by the charaters falling asleep, which is kinda lazy of me because it's an easy way to end a chapter but it's also the best, so I guess that's fine.
> 
> Once again, don't hesitate to give me your thoughts in the comments and thanks for reading!


	7. You, me, a whole day together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very very long chapter, I hope you won’t feel like it’s too long. I didn't know when I started writing that it would be that long but I really wanted them to have a whole day together so they could talk about all the things they wanted to talk about, especially their insecurities.

Natasha woke up the next morning, nestled against Carol, her hands grasping her T-shirt, the blonde tracing circles on the back of Natasha's neck with her thumb. She groaned as she slowly opened her eyes, the light coming from outside making her vision blurry for a few seconds. She couldn't fight a smile when she felt Carol's lips on her temple and it grew bigger when their gazes met, "Good morning Red," the blonde whispered before kissing her skin again, "Happy birthday." she added with a grin. Natasha, at first a bit disoriented, shook her head slightly and chuckled, realising it was in fact the 22nd of November.

She had to admit that she didn't think about her birthday at all in the last couple of weeks, her head full with studying and her problem with Carol, she totally forgot she was turning 20.

"Thank you, Angel." she finally replied before kissing the blonde's lips.

"So, I was thinking," Carol started in a whisper, "we could go to your room to get ready and then I'll take you out for brunch."

"My room, why?" Natasha asked loudly and Carol had to shush her, her palm cover her mouth.

"Well," the blonde nodded in direction of Wanda's bed. Natasha rolled on her back and saw that it wasn't empty, "I think she came back after we fell asleep, I didn't hear her."

"Okay, we should g-" A big snore cut her off and this time Natasha was the one to cover both hers and Carol's mouth to muffle their laughs.

Giggling quietly, they got out of bed, Carol taking her bag and clean clothes in her wardrobe that she tucked them under her arm before they left the room. Natasha led the way to her room, pulling Carol by the hand, the blonde resisting just to pull Natasha in her arms. Natasha kept walking backward slowly, even if she was held back by the strong arms of her girlfriend, "I know what you want when you do that." she said with a smirk, wrapping her arms around Carol's shoulders to pull her to her room more easily.

"You do?"

"Yes," Natasha said as she pushed Carol against the door, "and I suppose we can take some time before brunch, we have nothing else to do." she added before kissing Carol's neck.

"Well, I actually have to take a shower, but maybe we could… you know… share."

Natasha pulled away from Carol's neck and opened the door, gently pushing the other girl inside, "Then we don't have the time." she stated teasingly, still walking forward to lead Carol to her bed. When the back of her knees hit the mattress, Carol fell on it, and leaned on her elbows, the clothes she had taken in her room long forgotten, partly on the bed, the rest on the ground. Natasha stepped closer to Carol, analysing her behaviour, her pursed lips that were actually hiding a smile and her eyes full of arousal. She leaned over the blonde, a knee between her legs, one hand sliding up her arm to reach the back of her neck while the other was preventing Carol from pulling Natasha closer. The redhead leaned closer and stopped just before their lips would touch, "And I don't need a shower." she whispered before getting back on her feet with a chuckle.

"Fuck you!" Carol shouted with a laugh, taking the closest thing she could find, a shirt, and threw it at Nat to show her annoyance and frustration. The redhead fake surprise before sitting on Carol's lap, a big smile on her face.

"You'll do that one day, don't worry." she said before kissing her cheek, an arm wrapped around Carol's shoulders to pull her closer. "About that," she added with a more serious tone, "there is another thing I should tell you."

"Okay."

"Not that long time ago, before summer break, I was dating a guy-"

"Ew!" interjected Carol with a pout.

"Yeah, I know." Natasha replied with a laugh before continuing, "I fell hard for him, we got along really well but then I discovered he just wanted to have sex with me, it was a bet with his friends."

"I hate straight men." Carol groaned, "If you tell me his name I'll find him and kick his ass." she added before gritting her teeth, her hands clenched into fists, she was definitely not lying on the kicking-ass part.

"Don't worry about it, Tony Steve and Bruce already did it but um…" Natasha said, lowering Carol's fists, "what I wanted to say is that I haven't slept with anyone since my relationship before that guy so basically eight months now and I don't think I'm ready for it, as much as you turn me on." the last part was important for her, because Carol was really, _really_ attractive and since the two of them got together, since that night at Tony's when Carol said she could fight to have Natasha as her girlfriend, the redhead couldn't stop thinking she was the luckiest girl ever to have the sexiest girl of the campus for herself.

"Okay um, it's not a problem for me, Red, I can wait, and I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise." a smile grew on Natasha's face, she was relieved to know that Carol was fine to wait.

"I wasn't sure because you're always there undressing me so I thought-"

"Oh no, that's just um, how I can I say that." Carol began, taking Natasha's free hand in hers, "It's just that I wanna feel you, you know, skin to skin, but it's not because I wanna take your top off that I wanna do more." finished Carol with a kiss on the back of Natasha's hand.

"Feel me huh?" Natasha asked rhetorically, "That's really cute."

"If you're not comfortable with that I can stop."

"No no, it's totally fine." Natasha assured before kissing Carol's temple. It made her very happy to know that the blonde genuinely loved her and cared about her, it confirmed her feelings for the day prior, that even after learning about all her difficult past, Carol would stay with her and help her going through the repercussions that past had on her present life.

"I don't wanna force you to do anything Natasha, just stop me whenever you need or tell me to slow down."

Freeing her hand from Carol's, Natasha cupped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her, "Thank you Carol." she said as they broke the kiss, "now go take your shower, I'm a bit hungry."

"Yes ma'am!"

After one last lingering kiss, Carol did as she was asked and gathered the clothes she had brought and let fall all over the room. She was about to leave for the bathroom when she turned around, biting her bottom lip, "You have a towel for me? I kinda forgot to take one."

Natasha, who had realised earlier when Carol talked about needing a shower that she hadn't a towel, rolled her eyes but couldn't fight a laughter, amused by how absent minded Carol was some times, "Try to wardrobe." she answered teasingly, there wasn't another place in her room where she could put all her clothes and bath stuff.

"Thank you!" the blonde said as she took what she sought and left the room.

Not knowing how long Carol would take in the shower, Natasha didn't lose time and changed her clothes to some more wearable to go outside. She opted for a pair of black jeans and a grey jumper with a vest underneath it. She knew she would get scold by Carol if she kept wearing inappropriate clothes for the current weather of New York, the blonde already warned her back at the game. She had just the time the brush her hair before Carol came back, her still-a-bit-wet hair tied in a ponytail. Natasha looked her up and down, thinking she would love to snuggle into Carol's arms, her oversized sweater would keep the both of them warm and be very comfortable to lay on.

"Hey, you ready?" the blonde asked as she put her pyjamas and towel on the unused bed.

"Yep, let's go." Natasha replied, her bag hanging on her shoulder.

"What are you doing, the bag stay here or you'll want to pay, today it's on me." Carol took Natasha's bag and tossed it on the same bed as her stuff, "By the way, why don't you regroup those two beds to have a bigger one?"

"I don't like sleeping in a big bed when I'm alone." Natasha confessed. It was a part of her insecurities, she had always slept in a single bed, back in Russia or after she had been adopted, she simply couldn't sleep in a double bed alone, the few time she tried she either had nightmares or couldn't sleep at all. Sometimes, even with a person with her, she had trouble sleeping, she needed to be close the person with her, to know they wouldn't abandon her in the middle of the night.

"Well, you're not alone anymore, Red. Tonight we definitely gonna move that bed." Carol stated with a soft smile.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "You're staying here tonight?"

"Of course, I wanna spend the whole day with you, I mean it's your birthday babe!"

"Alright, let's go _babe._ " Natasha repeated the pet name to mock Carol though she liked it.

They both stepped out of the room and Natasha locked the door behind them, Carol already reaching her hand to lace their fingers together. The redhead let her girlfriend lead the way since she didn't know where she wanted to bring her for brunch.

On their way, they talked about the game they both attended the week before, Carol praising Steve's performance, for her, he had good chances to get a call from professional teams really soon. Natasha didn't know a lot about football, she had learnt some of the rules after spectating Steve's game but she never really got interested in it so she believed what Carol was saying. She was happy to hear such a good opinion about her best friend's performance, Steve really wanted to get into professional football, it had always been his dream and Natasha had always supported him.

Talking about the game, they had to evoke what happened between them at the half time period. Carol admitted that when Natasha went to talked to her she had wanted to forgive her right away but Bruce interrupting them and something else happening after that stopped her, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, Tony came to talk to me at the half time period last week."

Natasha almost choked on the outside air with surprise, "He did what now?"

"He followed me when I went to the toilet, took me aside and told me I was a dumbass to be mad at you."

"He told me he was going to see Pepper, why the fuck did he do that?"

"I guess he wanted to fix things between us but honestly I was kinda scared of him and he totally freaked me out following me like he did, I think it had the opposite effect on me than what he expected." Natasha understood, she would have reacted the same way if an almost stranger had done that to her. She was even astonished that the situation between her brother and her girlfriend didn't escalated to a more heated conversation considering their personalities. As much as she hated it, she was now mad at Tony, she had specifically told him to shut his mouth but as usual he didn't listen and made things worse. "I'm gonna kill him." she muttered with anger.

Carol giggled and it instantly made Natasha's annoyance go away, "Please don't, I want you here with me, not in jail."

They finally arrived to the restaurant and, Carol, with all her manners, opened the door for the redhead. Natasha had heard about this restaurant and it wasn't a cheap place, quite the opposite actually.

"Angel, you really can afford that restaurant? It's expensive for what I know." Natasha asked as they walked to the reception desk.

"Don't worry, we wouldn't be there if we had to run away at the end of our meal because I couldn't pay." Carol replied with a wink, just before a waiter came to show them their table. They followed him and sat down, Carol pulling Natasha's chair before going to sit on the chair opposite to her.

"I've got lots of money saved from the job I had in Louisiana, I told you about it, remember?" the blonde clarified as she took the menu.

Natasha nodded with a giggle as the memory of there conversation came back to her mind. Carol worked as a tennis trainer after her injury, even though she couldn't play. It was a really profitable job, her trainees were for the majority kids with wealthy parents and even with only five of six hours of training a week she won an interesting amount of money, especially for a young adult still in the education system.

The giggle from Natasha was the last sound that came from their mouths for a few minutes. They both read the menu, glancing over it when the other wasn't watching in a kind of flirty game Natasha thought, but then their gazes met and Carol instantly glanced away. Natasha raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth to talk but a waitress arrived before she could say anything.

The redhead ordered pancakes with maple syrup, bacon, eggs and a coffee. Carol asked for the same but with a tea instead.

The waitress left with the menu, meaning Carol had no more ways to hide her face. Natasha cleared her throat to get the other girl's attention but she kept her gaze away. The redhead reached her hand and squeezed it gently and this time Carol looked right into her dark green eyes, "You okay?"

"Um, yeah… I just feel like you've been telling me your whole life and I haven't."

It was kinda true, Natasha had no more secret to Carol but the blonde had shared quite some details too, Natasha thought, "You told me a lot Carol, you don't have to tell me everything if you're not comfortable with it." she reassured and brought Carol's hand to her mouth to kiss its back.

"Actually there is one thing didn't tell you, and I think I should."

"Well, I'm listening." Natasha replied with a smile, doing her best to show Carol all her support, just like the blonde did when she was telling her about her life.

"I never told you about my family." Carol started.

"I know you have a brother."

"I also have parents, unfortunately." Carol muttered, looking down at the table.

"What do you mean?"

Carol was about to reply but was stopped by the waitress coming back with their orders. They both politely thanked her, sharing embarrassed glances while she put the right plate in front of the right person. She left after wishing them a good meal, and both tried to ignore the fact that Carol had things to say but the air was so heavy, they needed to get over that moment.

"You were saying?" Natasha said to incite Carol to share what she had in mind.

"My parents threw me out, when I came out," she confessed, not an ounce of sadness on her face, maybe just a bit of irritation, "and I lived for three years at my best friend's place after that. Her parents have been better for me in those three years then my actual ones and they paid for this year of college, since I haven't my scholarship anymore."

Natasha coughed as she difficultly swallowed a bite of pancakes, "Oh God, Carol that's horrible."

"The worst is that I didn't see it coming, we had never talked about LGBTQ people before so I was quite confident when I came out but the only things they said was that they were disgusted by me and ashamed to have me as their daughter." The blonde looked like she didn't care that her parents treated her like this yet Natasha could tell it affected her by the fact that they, just like she did to Natasha, told her that were disgusted by her being a lesbian. Something was off in her eyes, they were not the usual shining hazelnut, they were darker, as if all her pent-up feelings were channelled in them, ready to explode.

"I'm so sorry it happened to you, Angel."

Carol shook her head and all the darkness disappeared, "You know, listening to Bucky, Tony is just a homophobic asshole, that's why I couldn't understand how you could be friend with a person like that, I didn't even know y'all were siblings, he never mentioned that. "

Natasha noticed the change of subject but knew Carol was just protecting herself by doing that and didn't mention it, she would have other opportunities to talk with her later, "With that plus your parents I understand why you snapped at me about the whole James and Tony situation."

"Yeah, that was basically why. But now I guess there's more I don't know, especially behind the image that Tony has." Carol admitted before taking a mouthful of bacon.

"Not to defend him, but he has been through a lot with the death of his parents, and I know that deep down he still loves James. What he did at his party is hardly forgiveable and he knows it, he regrets what he did, but he was drunk and he thought James was stealing his best friend, he wasn't thinking straight." she took a sip of her coffee and continued, "And he is an amazing brother to me, he was the first supporting me when I came out and he is paying for college, for the three of us, even if we all inherited money to pay for it, I don't think James is aware of that."

"And what about Bucky?"

Natasha wasn't sure what she meant by that so she just said what came to her mind, "He withdrew into himself after our parents died, not just because of Tony, he also convinced himself that he was responsible, he wanted to suffer, I think he still does, and I'm pretty sure that's why he doesn't want me to talk to him. Now Tony don't give a fuck about me talking to James, it's just him that doesn't want to let me in again." Carol smirked at that last sentence but decided not to carry on on the subject and Natasha was totally okay talk about something else than the problems with her brothers, "Tell me more, about your childhood."

"When we arrived, we didn't speak a word of English, so Tony always had a phone or a dictionary on him so we could communicate. We learnt how to speak English very quickly thanks to that, and he learnt a few thing in Russian too, but I'm sure he doesn't remember anything now, or maybe the things to flirt with a girl." Natasha laughed and so did Carol, "Yeah, that sounds like him."

They finished their plates and ordered another round of pancakes that they shared. Natasha was a bit ill at ease because they were in a chic restaurant eating food they could cook by themselves, dressed in normal clothing when the personnel and other customers were wearing dresses and suit but why bother to wear a dress at this time of the day, Natasha thought, it was just the beginning of the afternoon.

When they were done the first waiter from the front desk brought them the check. Natasha tried to see how much it cost but Carol was faster, she left to go pay, telling Natasha to wait for her outside. The blonde joined her a couple of minutes later, smiling from ear to ear, with her jacket hanging from both side of her forearm, "You forgot that babe!"

Natasha noted again Carol's use of a pet name but didn't say anything about it, "Oh! That explains why I was freezing, thank you."

Again, Carol help Natasha putting the jacket on, as if they were back in the old days when the men had to woo the women with grand gestures and manners. Natasha was amused by it but she also loved it, it was nice to have someone else that herself being attentive with her and her well being.

They walked back to Natasha's room wordlessly, hand in hand, both Natasha and Carol wandering around to the town and the people that surrounded them. Half way through their walk, Natasha saw Carol distracted, she wasn't watching out where she was going, bumped into a guy and almost fell on the pavement, but fortunately for her Natasha was there to prevent that. She quickly apologise to the man, her cheeks red with embarrassment before walking again at a fast pace. The redhead glanced at her and saw Carol making a weird face, maybe it was worry, Natasha couldn't tell but it concerned her. With another quick look she noticed the blonde had her phone in her free hand and Natasha thought that she might have received a bad news. The only way she had to be sure was to ask, but knowing Carol, she would hide the truth.

She decided to take her chance anyway, "You okay?"

Carol smiled but it was obviously forced, "Of course!" she replied almost too fast.

Considering the blonde's reaction, Natasha thought it was wise to let go, if Carol needed to tell her something she would do it when she'd be ready.

They got to her room quicker than expected, since Carol was more scampering than walking. Natasha could feel how sweaty Carol's palm was and worried a bit, she had never seen her girlfriend like that before. She let go of her hand when they arrived to her door and chuckled as she saw the blonde rubbing her hands on her thighs, to get the sweat away Natasha figured. She hadn't fully opened the door that Carol was already inside taking her shoes off. Before she could close the door the blonde was sitting on her bed, crossed legs, pensive. Natasha took her time to take her jacket and shoes off, tidied her bag that Carol had thrown on the bed before they left on her desk before joining her on the bed. She sat in front of the blonde and said nothing, seeing that the other girl had something on her mind.

Suddenly, Carol matched Natasha's gaze, biting her top lip, probably out of stress. It took her one big breath before finally breaking the silence, "Hey um, I was wondering if you had anything planned for Christmas, like with Tony or something." she muttered, glancing away.

Natasha used to love Christmas, it was her favourite holiday, even in Russia in the orphanages, but since her parents died, she'd rather avoid this period of the year. "Well, last year Steve forced me and Tony to come at his place and the year before we were not in the mood to celebrate Christmas so honestly I don't know, why?" Considering Carol's level of stress, she knew what was coming, and if she was being honest spending her winter holiday with Carol was the only way she would enjoy it without thinking too much about how great it was when her family was united and alive.

"I just thought that maybe you could come with me… to Louisiana… you know." The blonde wavered, not capable to look at Natasha in the eyes. The redhead took Carol's hands and squeezed gently, "You want to introduce me to your best friend?"

"I mean, yeah, if you want to."

Natasha moved closer to the blonde and kissed her cheek, "I'd love that."

"Really?" Carol said loudly, finally matching Natasha's gaze, the surprise quite obvious on her face.

"Of course, Angel."

"Great! Imma tell her you're coming!" Carol didn't wait and took her phone to text Maria. That much happiness on the blonde's face was all Natasha wanted. She had seen her sad, upset, stressed and she swore she'd do her best to prevent all that from happening again, she made it her mission to make Carol the happiest girl in the world.

Sitting next to Carol, Natasha tilted her head to rest it on Carol's shoulder to be able to read the text she was sending, "That explain why you were all weird and distracted on the way back, she told you you could invite me."

"You know me so well Red, it's actually scary, maybe you're a stalker."

"I don't need to stalk you, you're so obvious, like a kid who did something stupid."

"I'm not a kid." Carol pouted.

"That's right, you're not. _You_ are a baby, _babe_."

"Let me show you what the baby can do!"

Before she could say something about it, Natasha was laying on her back and Carol was eagerly kissing her neck. The redhead giggled, she should have seen it coming, teasing Carol like that often ended up in making out.

She pulled the blonde away from her neck to capture her lips, Carol smiling into the kiss as Natasha's tugged the collar of her sweater to pull her closer.

With one of Carol's hand in her hair and the other cupping her cheek, Natasha had enough space to slip her hands in the blonde's back and quickly under her sweater. Since their earlier conversation, Natasha decided that she wanted to try the skin to skin thing and pulled the sweater up, Carol immediately sitting up to help her taking it of.

The Russian girl discovered that the blonde had a white blouse and chuckled, it was an interesting style choice but she still loved it. It was her turn to sat up, her hands mindlessly reaching the centre of the blouse to take it off while she leaned closer to crash her lips on Carol's. She pulled away to concentrate on the blouse, one button after the other appeared more and more skin, her chest, bra-covered breasts and abs at the mercy of Natasha. She could feel Carol staring at her, probably impatient to do the same with Natasha's clothes. When she finally reached the bottom of the blouse, Natasha pushed Carol's shoulder gently to make her sit further on the bed.

Natasha stood on her feet and took off both her jumper and vest, Carol's jaw dropping as she saw her girlfriend with only a white lace bra on.

"Like something you see?" Natasha asked, stepping closer to Carol. After a few seconds of staring, the blonde took Natasha's hands and pulled her back on the bed, the redhead straddling her lap, "Natasha, you are so beautiful," she murmured at her ear, her cold hands on Natasha's back making the other girl shiver, "I'm so lucky to have you." she added before leaving a trail of kisses all over Natasha's jaw.

"And I, you, Carol." Natasha replied in a whisper, her thumbs running up and down Carol's cheeks.

She took off the blouse that was still on Carol's shoulder before leaning in to kiss the blonde tenderly, smiling into the kiss as she felt Carol's hands sliding from her waist to her thighs. Taking advantage of her position, she deepened the kiss, her cheeks hot like fire as her tongue found Carol's, the other girl humming in response, the pleasure coursing through her veins making her squeeze roughly Natasha's thighs. Carol fought aggressively for dominance, biting the redhead's tongue when she dared to slip into her mouth but Natasha didn't mind, she actually loved it.

As her breathing grew heavier, Natasha broke the kiss, tilting her head to the back and inhaled hard. Carol, who didn't seem that breathless, kept going and left open-mouthed kisses on Natasha's neck and collarbone. Natasha stroked her hands in the blonde locks to pull her closer but it was still not enough and she groaned to express her frustration. Carol chuckled against her skin in response and slid her hands on the back of her thighs to her knees before pulling Natasha towards her. Getting the hint, Natasha wrapped her legs around Carol's waist and use Carol's shoulders to help herself sitting in the right position so their bodies were pressed together.

At that second, she understood why Carol liked this position so much, they couldn't get any closer, holding the other so tight that it became hard to breathe but they didn't care any more, they were to much overwhelmed by the warmth and lust in their bodies to want to breathe properly.

Carol only pulled out of Natasha's neck when she had left a love mark and she grinned proudly at herself for what she did. That moment lasted too long for Natasha, she wanted Carol's full attention on her lips and she wanted them now. Without warning, she leaned into a heated kiss, the blonde gasping with surprise as Natasha bit her lower lip.

Carol's nails scratching her skin and hands grasping her ass were what Natasha need to finally vocally express how good she felt. The first time it sounded more like a deep groan, when Carol scraped her back in response to their tongue meeting and then she couldn't control them any more. She was so turned on by Carol's touch and moans that she felt the need to touch herself and there she knew they had to stop, she would be soon too excited to have the willpower to stop but she still was not ready for Carol to touch her.

"Babe." she breathed and Carol pulled away instantly. Their gazes met and it was like they could read each other's mind, they could see each other's desire and frustration in their dark eyes, but also understanding that they were close to a situation Natasha was not ready to be in. Carol nodded before closing her eyes, resting her head on Natasha's shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. The redhead kept holding her girlfriend tight, her finger running all over her naked back, from her shoulder blades to the middle of her spinal column, to help her relax. Even after the panting disappeared they stayed in that position, Natasha feeling her arousal fading away as she was focusing on Carol's cold breathing on her skin.

"Eh," she whispered to Carol's ear, caressing her hair, "tomorrow we gotta study, we have our exams in like two weeks and I could get my degree this semester if I'm good enough."

Hearing that, Carol sat up, her eyes wide opened, "Wait! You could get your degree in two years and a half, that's amazing, you're a genius."

"Yeah, well, after the whole my-parents-died-and-I-almost-killed-myself situation I buried myself into work and did pretty great at my exams, and being Russian helps a lot, for the literature and the Russia history."

"So, you'll have nothing to do next semester," Carol began with a smirk before kissing Natasha's shoulder as she was tickling her bare arm with the back of her finger, "which means..." she continued, matching Natasha's intrigued gaze, "you'll be able to help me get my degree in my third year."

"You can get you degree this year?" Natasha gasped, not able to hide her surprise. She knew Carol was smart, the girl's major subject was astrophysics after all, but she didn't expect her to be that good at it.

"Hell yes I can, you're not the only genius here. And just like you, after my injury, I had nothing else to do. Guess we are a couple of smartass!"

"Damn right we are!" It gave Natasha an idea, to extend their time together to a whole weekend while studying, "Okay, tomorrow we'll study all day, waking up at 9 AM, breakfast will be snacks and coffees from the vending machines, same for lunch, okay?"

"Yes ma'am!" Carol replied, mimicking the military salute. Natasha couldn't fight a laughter, a half dressed Carol acting like she was in military school was too cute and too ridiculous for her to contain her amusement.

After one last kiss for the moment, Natasha stood up and picked up the clothes she had thrown on the ground earlier and it earned her a whine from the blonde. She chuckled as she covered her body, it was nice to know that her girlfriend liked it, it gave her confidence. She watched Carol reluctantly buttoning up her blouse, her lips pursed into a pout. With that face, Carol looked literally like a baby and Natasha thought that she would use the nickname _Babe_ more often now.

As she gave Carol her sweater back, she heard a knock on her door and raised an eyebrow, nobody usually came to her room, especially during the weekend, "Can you get that?" Carol asked.

Natasha scoffed as she walked to the door, looking at the blonde while opening, "I mean it's my room Ca-"

"Hi Natalia." she heard and froze, her gaze still fixed on Carol. She knew right away who it was, not only because he was one of the two people on Earth who called her by her real name, but also because it wasn't the one smug voice of Tony. This voice was soft and shy, and it had been a long time since the last time she had heard it. Yes, she had talked to Bucky in the past two years but he was never happy to chat with her and showed it with an irritated tone. The last time he talked to her with such softness was the night their parents died, when he was desperately trying to comfort the redhead.

"James, what are you doing here?" she finally spoke up, opening the door wide to let him enter.

"I asked him to come." Carol clarified as she taped the bedsheet to invite him to sit on Natasha's bed.

"I um… I've been willing to talk to you for a while but I couldn't find the courage."

Natasha couldn't fight the urge to chuckle, "You just could've talked to me all the times I came to you instead of pushing me away." She didn't know where this conversation was going but she had hopes it would turn good for her, for the both of them. She sat on the unused bed in front of him, leaning her elbows on her knees to keep her focus on Bucky, Carol would be a big distraction considering that she most certainly knew why he was here.

"Look, I know I've been an ass to you for two years now, you've been in the middle of my fights with Anthony when you just wanted to have your brothers, you deserve better than us but um... I talked with Steve and realised how bad I treated you, I mean I almost fucked up your relationship with Carol because I was mad at Anthony and I'm sorry for that. I… I wanna be your brother again, if that's possible."

Shaking her head, she stood up and opened her arms, "Come here you idiot."

At first surprised, Bucky quickly pulled himself together and got on his feet to hug Natasha. Damn, how she had missed hugging her brother, Bucky was the best at it. Tony wasn't the hugging type of brother, and when Natasha forced him it wasn't really a good moment. But now, with James, it was like she was back before it all went wrong, and she couldn't stop thinking that she was maybe dreaming but the blonde girl looking at her with shining eyes and a grin made it real.

They reluctantly pulled hand of the embrace, their eyes filled with emotion. They stood there for a moment, green gaze into blue one, softly smiling, neither only of them ready to put an end to their reconciliation.

Seeing a shift in Bucky's position, Natasha knew it was the time for them to stop their cute silent staring. She was about to talk but her brother bested her, "I'm not gonna bother you any longer, I'll text you later okay? And we'll talk."

"Sure thing James."

He walked to the door, scratching the back of his head, "Oh and happy birthday Natalia."

"Thanks."

She watched him leave, still standing in the middle of her bedroom, her smile not leaving her face. She heard movement behind her and came face to face with Carol as she turned around to see what was happening. The blonde wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist and kissed her. Pulling away, Natasha smirked and Carol knew exactly what she meant by it, "What? He told me he wanted to make it up to you a couple of weeks ago so I thought that'd be the perfect birthday present."

"You're saying that because you didn't buy me anything." The redhead replied just to tease the blonde.

"I did pay for brunch though." Carol wisely pointed out.

"Well, you invited me." Natasha shrugged innocently.

"You'll get a present Red, when I don't know but you will."

"Hey no," she whispered, pressing her forehead against Carol's, "I don't care about a present, I just want you."

"Then I guess you already have it." the tennis player replied before capturing Natasha's lips. It was so tender and gentle that the redhead couldn't fight a hum from escaping her throat, God, how Carol was a good kisser, she thought. Carol pulled away, one of her hands leaving Natasha's waist for her cheek. She slipped a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned closer, "I love you Natasha." the blonde whispered before kissing the pale skin of Natasha's cheek, her hand mindlessly going back to its initial spot.

"I love you Carol." Natasha whispered back, her smile enlightening her face.

"Hey, what do you think about that: we move this bed to make yours a double and then we finally finish the book, I'm dying to know the end."

Natasha chuckled, "I've got a better idea: you move the bed and I check my phone to reply to all those people wishing me a happy birthday."

"Seems fair." Carol replied with a wink, after all it was still Natasha's birthday, she had no effort to make.

After a quick kiss, Natasha stepped out of Carol's hold and took her phone out of her pocket, the electronic device vibrating just at the same time. She went to the other side of her room to give Carol the space to move the piece of furniture and read the texts she had received. There was short one from some people from her Russian literature class and Wanda, one a bit longer from Bruce and Tony, the latter also telling her he had made his move and asked Pepper out.

The last one, the longer one, was from Steve, he sent it at midnight and she was a bit ashamed that she didn't read it sooner. He was saying that he couldn't be luckier to have her as his best friend and that he hoped they would be friends forever because she brought him so much he couldn't imagine his life with her.

Tears filling up her eyes, she sent him an answer about as long as his, thanking him to be always there for her, even when they fight or disagree. She also apologised for the late answer and explained him that she spent all day with Carol, that everything was fine between them and that she was the happiest girl on her now that she had her girlfriend back.

Seeing that Steve was typing, she glanced away to see Carol struggling a bit with the bed and nightstand. She laughed quietly but let her do her thing, she had probably already an idea of what she wanted to do with the room anyway, no reason the bother her.

Her attention back on her phone, she checked her social media accounts, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram and replied to the few DMs. Just when she was done Steve had texted her back, wishing her a good afternoon with Carol with a smirking emoji, implying something sexual Natasha figured.

Seeing that Carol was almost done, she took her book and notes in her drawer, even if she didn't need the notes for the ending, she knew it by heart, as if she had written it, but Carol might have questions that would need them.

Carol walked toward her with a proud grin on her face and show Natasha what she did with the light tinsel she had found in Natasha's nightstand. It was nicely hanging above the bed, making the atmosphere more romantic and private. The blonde took her hand and pulled her to the bed, she sat on it, her back against the wall as usual and Natasha joined her, sitting beside Carol, the latter wrapping her arm around Natasha's shoulders.

For the rest of the afternoon and evening, the couple spent the time reading. Natasha took her time to translate it, teasing the blonde with soft caresses and glances full of mischief, she even paused the reading for half an hour to go buy them dinner (with Carol's credit card). Carol threatened a few times to go lent the English version at the library to finish it faster but Natasha told her it wouldn't be the same, that her translation was better.

When they finally reached the last words, Natasha found Carol tearing up, completely moved by this ending. Natasha hugged her tight, a bit surprised the blonde reacted just like she did when she read it for the first time.

"I didn't know you were a crier." Natasha whispered into the hug, gently stroking her hand in Carol's hair to calm her. After a few minutes, Carol pulled out of the embrace, her sobbing had stopped but there were still tears falling off of her eyes.

"I'm not a crier, usually," she began with a giggle, "but this story is so sad, imagine giving up all that define you to find out the person you gave them up for died before you could see them again."

"Yeah but the Angel wasn't only defined by her wing and immortality anymore, her friend was also a part of it, the best one, and even if she died she's still the person who changed her and made her realised humans were not useless toys."

"Yeah, sure, but it's still sad." The blonde sniffled and wiped away her tears.

"It is."

"I wanted to make out again but now I'm really not in the mood." Carol complained with a pout, her red eyes making her look even more like a crying baby. Giggling, Natasha cupped Carol's cheek and gave her lips a soft kiss, "We can just go to bed, you know."

"Yeah, let's do that."

Natasha left Carol alone in her bedroom to go take a quick shower. When she came back, she found Carol in her pyjamas, already dozing on top of the bedsheets. Natasha joined Carol, as discreetly as possible slipped under the sheets and lied on her back, watching the girl she loved peacefully resting her eyes. After a few minutes, Carol groaned and slipped under the sheets as well, her eyes still closed. Natasha changed position to lay on her side and Carol moved closer. She kissed Natasha's temple before spooning her, her arms wrapped around the redhead and Natasha laced their fingers together to feel the blonde's body all over hers. She reached the nightstand to turn of the lights and chuckled when she realised that they almost weren't laying on the second bed. She felt Carol's slow breathing on the back of her and she was almost sure the other girl was already asleep. Soothed by the warmth that the Carol brought her, Natasha followed her lead and fell asleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's pretty rare for a student to get their bachelor degree in two and a half or three years and honestly I didn't know a thing about further studies in the US before writing this fic. I read it was hard but possible to get a degree faster than in 4 years and I love to think that Natasha and Carol are geniuses, that's why I decided that they would try to get their degrees that fast.
> 
> The book and its story come completely out of my imagination, that's why there's no title to the book. I guess I was kinda inspired by Amenadiel in Lucifer who, at first, always said that humans and celestials couldn't interact and (SPOILER) ended up having a child with a human, but in the book the Angel is a woman and fell in love with another woman, because it’s soon Lesbian Visibility Day.
> 
> I don't know when I will post the next chapter, next week for sure but which day precisely I can't tell.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments!


	8. You can do it, I know you can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be a part of the next one but writing it I realised that the chapter would be too long so I cut it in two. It also means that the fic will be one chapter longer than what I had planned.
> 
> Still don't know when will be posted the next one, only time can tell.

Going back to normal life after a perfect weekend with her girlfriend had been hard for Natasha but it gave her even more reasons to want to get her degree as fast as possible, that way she would be able to be with Carol more, no classes to attend, no assignment to do or things to study. With that motivation, she planned all her days until the exams, what she should study and when, even her phone calls with Carol had to happen at a precise time, and if the other girl missed it then it was her loss, Natasha privileged her studies over her love life, at least for two weeks.

In that period of time she also had to prepare Carol's present for Christmas. It came to her in a dream, the night of her birthday, since Carol loved reading the book with Natasha she thought she could get her a new one and completely write down the translation this time. She picked a short novel, it was faster to translate and that way she also had the time to write some notes and basic lessons so Carol could learn a bit of Russian.

She took one hour of her day to do the translation, after she had studied and before she'd call Carol. According to her calculation, she would be done translating two days before she and the blonde would leave for Louisiana, but she had to do her one-hour task everyday, and on the weekends, meaning she couldn't get distracted by Carol. Fortunately for her, the blonde was also focused on studying and didn't try to see Natasha on her time off, she wanted to do great at her exams too, she had to if she wanted to graduate at the end of the academic year.

Oddly, Natasha wasn't stressed about the exams, she had studied regularly for the whole semester and even more recently, she knew what she had to know to succeed and was confident that she would. The only way she had to fail was to miss the exams but she had two different alarms, plus her phone, therefore she wasn't worrying about it. She also knew that, in case she failed to get her degree this semester, she would have a chance at the next one, with only a few points left to get it.

The evening before her first exam, while she was writing for the novel's translation, she got a call from Carol, which was weird because the blonde knew it was soon the time when Natasha would call her.

She still picked up the phone, whatever the reason was for Carol to call now was surely a good one, "Hey Angel, I was gonna call-"

_"Nat,"_ the redhead heard and she recognised that tone in a heart beat, panic, _"I'm stressing out for tomorrow, I've got a bad feeling about it."_

"Eh, breathe baby, it's gonna be fine, you studied so much you gonna nail it."

_"What if I forget everything, you know it's my style. I can't fail Nat, if I fail this one I can't get my degree at the end of the year."_ Natasha could imagine Carol's face, how desperate she was and it made her heart ache.

"Carol, you are not going to fail, okay? You are a smartass, remember? You are a genius, and I'm so proud of all the work you've done, tomorrow you will smash it, I know it." Natasha said with a soft voice to reassure the blonde.

_"I don't wanna fail Natasha, I can't."_

"You won't fail Carol, I believe in you, I know you can do it."

_"Hey,"_ Carol said shyly after a dozen of seconds of silence, _"Can you come to my room?"_

"Is Wanda there?" Natasha wondered, she knew the brunette would be support enough for her girlfriend.

_"No, she's studying with her brother and Bucky at the library, dunno when she'll be back."_

Natasha sighed discreetly, she wouldn't keep translating today, "Then come to my room, I'd prefer that."

_"Why?"_

"Because if I come to your room you'll ask me to stay for the night and I know I wouldn't resist you and stay, but if we are in _my_ room I can kick you out anytime I want."

Carol gasped, _"You wouldn't."_ she exclaimed, as if all the panic had suddenly disappeared.

"Oh yes, I would! Now come before I change my mind." Natasha threatened, actually not thinking it at all, she was glad she could see her girlfriend before this stressful week began.

_"Already on my way, thank you Red."_

Carol had already hung up the call before Natasha could reply. Without losing a second, she put all papers and book that were Carol's present back in their hiding place and went on her bed, acting like she was studying. A minute later, she heard a knock on the door and before she could stand up to go open it, Carol was already inside.

She stood before the closed door, hands in her back, staring at the wall. Natasha didn't think twice and joined her, her hands finding Carol's, she led her to her bed, back to its normal simple size, and lied down on her side. Seeing that the blonde wasn't moving, she pulled her by the waist and lied her down in front of her, wrapping her arms around Carol's shoulders. By instinct, Carol hold Natasha's waist tightly, her face tucked in the hollow of her neck.

The redhead adjusted the pillow under her head to be more comfortable, mindlessly stroking her fingers in the golden locks. She took a big inhalation of Carol's shampoo before kissing her hairline, knowing it soothed her. They remained like this in silence for longs minutes, Carol never letting go of Natasha, her fists full with the redhead's T-shirt.

As much as Natasha enjoyed the moment, they still had exams the next day and needed a full night of sleep to be at their best for this first day of a long week. She slowly changed position to lean on her elbow, the blonde quietly protesting with a whine. Running her thumb up and down Carol's cheek, Natasha smiled, Carol really was an adorable baby, nay, _her_ adorable baby.

"You wanna stay?" she asked and Carol instantly opened her eyes, and she was totally disbelieving what her ears heard, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, you obviously need more than one hug, and I sleep better when you are with me."

Without warning, Carol lunched herself on Natasha, the latter rolling on her back as the blonde hold her, kissing her cheek multiple times, "I love you so much Natasha." she whispered to her ear.

Pulling out of the hug, Natasha slipped Carol's hair all to one side, her hand staying on her neck when she was done, "You can't even imagine how much I'm in love with you." Natasha said before pulling Carol toward her, slowly closing the gap between their lips. They melted into one another, Natasha wrapping her arm around Carol's neck, pressing their bodies even more as they kissed passionately, neither one of them teasing the other a bit or trying to deepen the kiss.

After long minutes of tender kisses and gentle touches, they parted to breathe, their lips cocked into soft smiles. Wordlessly, they slid under the bedsheets, Carol laying on her back with Natasha's head on her chest and closed their eyes.

"I'm just gonna send a text to Wanda to tell her I'm sleeping here." Carol murmured. Natasha simply hummed to acknowledge that she heard her, already dozing off.

Waking up the next morning, Natasha found Carol reading lessons on her phone, roughly biting her bottom lip. After rubbing the sleep off her eyes, Natasha gently took Carol's phone out of her hand and put it on the nightstand, frowning when she looked back at her girlfriend, "You don't need those last moment reviews, you know everything on your lessons, you've known for a while, you could recite it to me by heart when we studied together."

Carol replied with a lingering kiss on Natasha's forehead, her thankfulness shining through her eyes.

Natasha gave her girlfriend some more supportive words before she left for her room to get ready before getting ready herself.

The whole day went smoothly for her, she felt good during her exam, didn't struggle to answer the questions and went back to the dorm with a text from Carol, telling her she thought she did great too.

The rest of the week was quite great as well, Natasha had a good feeling, she only had some difficulties with the Russian history, it was a harder subject than what she expected but she still thought she did good. Every evening she called Carol to encourage her, telling her she was the best and that she was proud of her, exactly the words she needed because everyday after the exams she received texts from Carol, overconfident about what she did and it couldn't make Natasha happier.

The last day of the exams, after her Russian literature paper, Natasha got a call that she thought would be Carol's (even though it couldn't be, the blonde had still a paper going on), but surprisingly was from Bucky. They had been talking through texts since he came to her room but never found a moment to meet up, they were both really focused in their studying.

"Hi James."

_"Natalia, how was Russian lit? "_

Natasha scoffed, a bit offended that he asked, he knew she was the best at it, "Oh come on, piece of cake of course!"

_"I guessed as much. Hey, do you have something planned, like now?"_

The redhead took a few seconds to find the right answer, she had to finish Carol's present, "Nothing that involve people, no."

_"Meaning?"_ he asked and she could see his face in her head, eyebrow raised, trying to figure out what she meant.

She had kept her present for Carol a secret, her friends were quite the talkers but she knew she could trust Bucky, "Okay I'm telling you this but you gotta promise me you won't say anything about it to anyone, especially Carol."

_"I swear on Steve's life that I won't spill anything."_ Natasha found it adorable that he said that, he and Steve were a very beautiful couple, she was happy for them.

"Okay. I guess you heard from Carol how we met."

_"The book at the library, cute."_

"Yeah! Well, since she loved it and the whole me-translating-for-her thing, I thought I could do that again with another one, writing down the entire book for her."

She heard Bucky gasped over the phone, _"Oh, my God, that's such a good idea!"_

"Yeah but I fell behind on the translating and I still have to write her some easy Russian lessons. We are leaving in two days and she'll want to be with me all the time until then, I gotta finish it today but I only have three hours before she's out of her Astrophysics paper."

_"I can help you if you want, I'll do the Russian lessons while you end the translation."_

Natasha cursed herself in her head for not thinking that her brother could help, "Oh God, thank you James. I love you."

_"Love you too sis, I'll be in your room in fifteen minutes."_

She didn't waste a second and got to work, she sat down at her desk a started writing down her translation. Just like he said, fifteen minutes later, Bucky arrived at Natasha's room, carrying coffees for his sister and himself along side his pencil case, full of coloured and felt pens. He was quite a good drawer and surely had some ideas to make the lessons more attractive than what they actually were. He gave Natasha a quick greeting hug before getting to work, laying on the ground on his belly and drew the Cyrillic alphabet. Natasha then gave him some sentences that she wanted to be in the lessons and let him do what he thought was the best with the page layout.

Reaching the last words of the novel, Natasha scratched her head with her pen, not sure how to translate them, "James, how would you translate that?" she asked, handing him the book.

With the cap of a pen in his mouth, the brunet looked up at the ceiling as he thought, and let it fall on the floor when he found the right translation, "You make it easier."

"That's what I thought."

Bucky watched the cover of the novel and smiled, and Natasha remembered that they first read it together when they were in high school, both out of the closet and proud of themselves at the time, "It's an amazing book you're translating Nat, she will love it." he said softly, giving it back to Natasha.

"I picked this one because it pictures exactly how I feel when I'm with her, I want to show her how important she is to me."

"I'm sure she knows." Bucky assured. He probably knew about it, Carol must have talked to him about her relationship with Natasha but she was not going to ask him, what she knew of their relationship was enough for her, "If she doesn't, with this she will." she joked, feeling that she was getting emotional, but she didn't want to cry at the moment, even if it would be tears of joy.

"I'm really happy for you, Natalia. You two deserve all the happiness in the world and I can see she brings it to you."

"She really does, I don't think I can live without her now. God we've been together for three months and I already say that." Natasha said, shaking her head.

"Looks like you found the love of your life to me." Bucky commented and Natasha smiled. She wasn't ready to say that sentence yet, her relationship with Carol was still new and, even though she told the blonde all her secret and she shared a lot in return too, those were strong words that she would say when she'd be sure of them, and only to Carol, "It feels like that, yeah." she confirmed.

Bucky got on his feet and gave Natasha what he did, "Well, I'm done with my part, I gotta join Steve at the bar, you coming?"

She took some time to admire what her brother did before answering, he really made an effort to create the most beautiful and appealing Russian lessons of the world and the redhead was sure Carol would love it and learn better with it.

"I'm definitely coming!" she finally replied with a smile.

Bucky left without Natasha, she told him she would join them, but before she had to wrapped Carol's present. She was very excited about that part, wrapping the novel, the other book that was her translation and the Russian lessons together meant that she was a few days away from offering it to Carol, and she couldn't wait to see her reaction.

On her way to the bar, she sent a text to Carol to tell her she was out with Bucky and Steve and proposed her to come along. She was almost there when she received a call from the blonde.

"Ca-"

_"Behind you babe!"_

Carol hung up the call and, before Natasha could watch her six, she had her favourite pair of arms wrapped around her waist.

"How what astrophysics?"

Carol kissed Natasha cheek, "Nailed it! You?"

"You really asking." Natasha pouted, faking offence. She turned into the blonde's hold, wrapping her arm around her shoulders and hugged tight, "I'm proud of you, Carol!"

Pulling out of the embrace, Carol gave Natasha's lips a chaste kiss, "I couldn't have done it without you, Red." she whispered before kissing the redhead again.

They walked the last metres that separated them from the bar where their friends were and sat at their table, side by side, holding hands. An evening that was supposed to be between friends ended up being a double date, Wanda, Pietro and Bruce didn't joined them because their parents picked them up for the holidays, earlier than what was initially planned.

If someone had told Natasha that she would be out on a double date with her girlfriend, best friend and brother, she most certainly wouldn't have believed it, but there she was having the best night of her life.

They talked about their exams, how confident (or not) they were about it. Bucky apparently did good, especially for his Sea Creature paper, but he was quite proud for his other subjects too. It was not like he was aiming for getting his degree this year anyway, unlike Carol and Natasha, he had a rough first year and barely passed his exams, but since those first two semesters he did great.

Steve was a bit doubtful about his performances, not that he really cared, he wasn't going to make a career out of Biology but he still needed to get his degree, just in case no professional football team contacted him. He did good at the game and was aware that the recruitment consultants told his coach they were interested by his profile. The blond had no news about it but wasn't worried, he knew those things took times and it wasn't the recruitment period yet.

Bucky told his sister and friend that he was going to Steve's house for Christmas, the blond was finally going to come out to his parents and he wanted to be there to support him. In case Steve's parents didn't like that, they had a backup plan and would go at Sam's, his parents actually asked them if they wanted to come but Steve explained them that it was important for him to come out, he was proud of himself and even more of his boyfriend and wanted to share his joy with his family.

Natasha informed Bucky that the house would be empty if he needed anything from there, Tony was going to Pepper's house for the holidays, they were finally together and the redhead was really happy for him.

It was starting to be late and Natasha and Carol still had to begin to order their rooms before leaving. They decided that Carol would pack her bags tonight, sleeping in her room and joined the redhead the next day, they had nothing else to do than being together for the two remaining days before their flight to Louisiana.

The couple of girls hugged Steve and Bucky to say goodbye, wishing them a happy Christmas and good luck for Steve's coming out. They made it quickly to the dorms, the bar was close to the campus and, as much as they hated when they had to go separate ways, it was what they decided earlier for their evening. It was actually Natasha's idea, she needed time alone to hide Carol's present in her luggage and with the blonde around it would be complicated.

Carol accompanied Natasha to her bedroom, kissed her goodnight for a long minute before heading to her room. Inside, Natasha started packing her stuff for the holidays, hiding Carol's present at the bottom of her suitcase under t-shirts and sweaters, before going to bathroom for a quick shower. She expected Carol to show up, she knew Natasha always took her shower the evening after classes but, to Natasha's great disappointment, she didn't. Going back to her room, she went directly to bed but had some trouble falling asleep, too excited by the upcoming trip and all that she imagined was going to happen.


	9. You're all I want for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted an absolutely-not-Christmas-related chapter last Christmas in another fic so I thought I owed you all one. I hope you'll enjoy it!

The couple arrived to New Orleans after a nice weekend together spent in Natasha's room, making out, talking about everything, their dreams, their pasts, fun anecdotes and embarrassing moments that made them who they were now.

At some point during the weekend, Carol almost found her present in Natasha's suitcase but hopefully the redhead was observant and stopped her before she could discover the gift-wrap under her clothes. It was her fault really, she had asked the blonde to get something from the suitcase and had forgotten the present was in it. Natasha wondered where hers was, but she wasn't going to rummage through Carol's stuff to find it, she didn't want to ruin the surprise.

Their flight to Louisiana was quite good as well, kind of painful for Natasha's left shoulder since Carol slept on it for three quarter of the time in the plane, but still enjoyable. The redhead had to admit that she loved having Carol around, or rather close, and the soreness of her arm was worth it if she could stare at the blonde peacefully asleep beside her for hours.

They were welcomed at the airport by Carol's best friend, Maria. The first thing Natasha thought when she saw her was that she was gorgeous and she wondered if she and Carol had ever been more than best friends, she knew her girlfriend had had a lot of relationship and the black haired woman gave her gay vibes.

Natasha shook the feeling off as they enter the car, there was no reason for her to get jealous, or not as of now. It was very easy to chat with her and Natasha was almost surprised with herself for not being shy in presence of a stranger. Carol still did the most of the conversation, she had a lot of catching up to do and the Russian girl was okay to let her do it, she knew she would be exactly like that after five months without seeing Steve. She felt really lucky to be in what was surely Carol's safest environment, when they were inside their rooms the blonde was just like now with Maria, but when they were outside, just the two of them or with their friends, she had some reservations, she wasn't a hundred percent herself, maybe because of what happened when she came out to her parents.

After a thirty-minutes-long ride, they arrived to Maria's house, Natasha stressing out to meet the people who took Carol in. She wasn't scared that they would not like her, it was not like she needed acceptation from them to be Carol's girlfriend, she had that from Carol's friend, and pretty recently from her best friend, but it was the idea of meeting new people. She had had a close circle of friends for two years and wasn't really open to new people in her life (apart from Carol), therefore meeting Maria's parent was challenging for her.

As they walked in, their arms full with their luggage, Carol dropped everything to take Natasha's hand. The redhead didn't really understand what was happening but she still did like her girlfriend and put her suitcase and bags on the ground. The blonde pulled her into her arms before she could ask what they were doing and it was a most welcomed hug.

"You know I can see when you're nervous, right?" Carol said quietly and Natasha responded with a nod.

The taller girl pulled away but kept her hands on Natasha's waist, "I'm not gonna say they are like parents to me, because they are not, but they are still very important and I know you don't like new people. I just want you to be comfortable with them, they are the nicest adults on this planet, I promise."

"I'll do my best to make it the less awkward possible." Natasha joked, feeling a bit less nervous thanks to Carol's support.

Natasha stepped first into the kitchen where Maria was talking with her parents, followed closely by Carol, the blonde not letting go of her hand. After a first stammering attempt, Natasha cleared her throat and introduced herself, offering her hand to shake, but Maria's mother used it to pull her into a warm greeting hug, making the redhead gasp with surprise. She heard Carol and Maria laughing a few metres away as the older woman welcomed her with nice words. After she was released, she hesitated if she whether should also hug Maria's father or shake his hand but luckily for her he chose the second option, "No unpleasant embrace from me, fine with it?" he asked ironically and Natasha shyly nodded to reply.

She found herself alone in the middle of the room while the best friends were chatting in a corner, she didn't know at which point of her quick talk with Maria's parents Carol had let go of her hand, when Maria's mum hugged her she figured.

Seeing her girlfriend's distress, Carol walked towards her, the redhead instantly grabbing her hand when she was in range, "Wanna see my room?"

Natasha sighed in relief, a less crowded place was what she needed and fast. Maria came with them, helping the couple with their luggage.

Entering Carol's bedroom, the redhead observed and analysed every little detail in her eyesight, the posters on the walls, most of them being pictures of galaxies and other space-stuff, a few framed photographs of her playing tennis when she was younger, but she had also a couple posters of what Natasha knew was Carol's favourite TV show, Legends of Tomorrow. She remembered having a turbulent conversation with her about the fact that Natasha wasn't into TV shows at all, and the blonde promised her that they would watch the whole five seasons of her favourite show one day and that she would love it.

Natasha sat on the undone bed with her stuff on the ground at her feet, not sure what to do with them, her eyes still wandering around.

"I gotta do something with your parents real quick," She heard her girlfriend say to her best friend before she sat beside her on the bed, "I'll be back before you know it babe." she murmured to her ear. Natasha kissed Carol's cheek and watched her leaving the room with a small smile.

It was just her and Maria in the room now, she suspected that she had to stay to keep Natasha away from whatever the thing Carol was doing and decided to play along.

She leaned back on her hands and crossed her legs, "So, you've known Carol for like-"

"Forever!" Maria cut off, joining Natasha on the bed.

"Sounds painful!" The redhead said with a laugh, very interested to have some answers about the nature of Maria's and Carol's relationship.

"I mean, yeah, kinda, you must know that, she can be annoying when she wants to."

Natasha shrugged, "Huh, I guess being her girlfriend makes her softer, she has never been a real pain in the ass to me."

"Well you're lucky because I've heard all her exes saying she was." Maria affirmed, slowly nodding.

"And to you?" The Russian girl asked, smartly hinting the conversation in the direction she wanted.

"She's like a sister to me, I guess she acts like that." _Sister_ , Natasha noted, definitely not an ex then, good news.

"I wouldn't know about a sister but I have brothers so I still can sympathise."

"Brothers must be worse than Carol."

"They are." Natasha laughed, getting more and more comfortable around Maria.

They kept chatting for a while, not realising that the blonde girl was gone for more than a real-quick talk like she said when she left. It ended up being a twenty-minutes-long conversation, mostly about Carol of course but it was one of Natasha's favourite subject so she was happy to talk and learn more about her, she was especially thrilled to know what someone very close thought about her.

The injured tennis player came back to her room panting, her cheeks red and forehead sweating. Natasha didn't even bother to ask what she did to be in that state, instead she used the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe the droplets off Carol's face, she had worn it the day before and in the plane, it was going to the washing machine at the end of the day anyway.

"I'm gonna go." Maria said but the couple barely paid attention, too occupied staring into each other eyes to noticed that she left.

Carol unpacked her stuff while Natasha made the bed, she wasn't going to put anything on the wardrobe for now, she had nowhere else to hide Carol's present than with her clothes in her suitcase. She could find somewhere to put it or ask for Maria's help but for that she needed to be alone, or not being with Carol, and that wouldn't happen soon.

It was soon time to eat dinner and it gave Natasha a good opportunity to learn more about Maria and her parents, and the more they talked the more comfortable she was, it reminded her of her dinners with her family. Yes, it was different than what she had with her brothers and parents but the atmosphere had some resemblance, open-minded parents talking about every subject with ease and three young adults, sometimes being kids sometimes being serious.

Then, they spent the evening playing board games, kinda hard because they were five to play, anytime they needed to team up one of the team was outnumbered but they discovered that it didn't matter, the most important at the end of the game was how much fun they had, not who was the winning team.

Natasha was astonished by how many games the Rambeau family had, they must have entertaining evenings really often she thought. They didn't tried them all though, the holidays had just begun, they had the time to play to the others later.

After at least two hours of playing, Carol and Natasha left the living room for Carol's bedroom, they (especially Natasha) were tired form the flight and the redhead had to shower. When she came back from the bathroom Carol was already fast asleep. It still surprised her how fast the blonde could fall asleep and how she could do it everywhere, even in a taking off plane. She could do that too, falling asleep quickly, but it happened only when she was in bed with Carol, being held by her strong arms soothed Natasha more than she would ever admit it, she was in peace and safe. With the blonde already asleep, close to the edge of the bed and facing it, Natasha couldn't slip herself into her arms so she'd do the spooning this time, it was not a problem at all, she dozed off as fast as when it was Carol holding her.

The next few days were basically the same, after waking up the couple would go to the kitchen to eat breakfast, Maria and her parents already there and all the food they could want ready on the table. Then, they would join Maria to her morning run, Natasha didn't have the time to go to the gym lately so it was a good way for her to get back to working on her body and for Carol to do sports again, she hadn't been really motivated since she changed university and arrived to New York. By the time they got back lunch was served on the table, one special dish from Louisiana everyday, which made Natasha discover new tastes she didn't knew she needed in her life. The afternoon was cuddles on the couch watching films, then dinner and game night.

For Christmas Eve, they all help cooking for the big lunch the next day, peeling and chopping vegetables. They went to bed early that day to awake as soon as possible the 25th, they couldn't wait to open their presents, and to see the other's reaction.

For once since the first time they slept in the same bed, Natasha woke up first, sounds coming from the living room telling her that the rest of the family was already waiting. She sneaked out of bed and took Carol's present to put it under the Christmas tree. On her way she ran into Maria, who wordlessly took the present, knowing what she had to do with it, and sent Natasha back to the room to wake Carol up.

She had a few option to get Carol out of bed, she could make noise, scream, but she knew the blonde would hate it and she didn't want to have a grumpy girlfriend for Christmas, quite the opposite, therefore she picked a nicer possibly. She climbed into bed and stroked her fingers in Carol's golden hair, whispering cute words until she opened her eyes.

"Hey you," Natasha said before kissing Carol's cheek, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." Carol yawned, rolling on her back as she stretched out her arms. Natasha used this opportunity to hug the blonde, she literally fell on her, the blonde yelping with surprise. Her arms around Carol's neck, Natasha pulled her into a passionate kiss, their noses completely crashed against one another but they couldn't care less about that.

"I think they are waiting for us, we should go."

"Nooo, I wanna hug you forever." Carol whined, holding Natasha tighter to prevent her from escaping her arms but she still managed to, "You'll do that later, come on!" Natasha got out of bed and pulled Carol with her, the taller girl stumbling on her first steps, she didn't see that much eagerness coming from her girlfriend.

They finally made it the living room, Maria and her parents applauding Natasha for getting Carol out of bed that fast, the blonde responding by sticking her tongue out at them. There were only two piles remaining under the tree, both composed of two present and Natasha easily recognised which one was meant for her, the one where there wasn't her present for Carol of course. She was a bit ashamed to have a present from the Rambeaus because she hadn't bought anything for them, she wanted to but Carol told her she didn't have to. They took them and went to sit on the sofa, Natasha in the middle with Carol on her left and Maria on her right.

There was one small present, a rectangle parallelepiped box, not wrapped, and the bigger one was probably a piece of clothing. Carol had one like that too, Natasha guessed it was from Maria and her parents, maybe a couple themed thing. Seeing Carol going for this present first, Natasha decided to open this one too. The ripped gift-wrap revealed a white t-shirt with written on it 'my idiot' and an arrow pointing to the right. She looked at Carol's and on her was written 'idiot', which made her laugh hard.

"You'll just have to always be on Carol's right when you wear it and it'll be perfect." Maria told Natasha while opening her own presents.

"This is perfect, thank you so much." Natasha replied, giving a quick gentle squeeze to Maria's hand.

"Of course for you it's perfect, you're not the one being insulted!" Carol exclaimed, faking offence.

Natasha wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and hugged her tight, "You are my idiot baby Angel."

Carol wrinkled her nose, leaning opposite to Natasha to escape her but failed. Admitting her defeat, she sat properly and kissed Natasha's temple, "You're lucky I love you." muttered Carol with a pout.

"Eh, it's not like it was my idea."

"I know, but still, you like it."

"So do you." Natasha said, holding a laughter as she saw Carol kept pouting.

"Yeah, I like it."

Natasha released Carol and took her second present in her hand.

"Eh, don't open this without me, okay? I'm gonna get us hot-chocolate, I'll be right back." The blonde said as she stood up from the sofa.

"We should leave you alone for that, we'll be in the kitchen." Maria said before grabbing both her parents by the arm and led them outside.

Natasha was a bit anxious, she didn't know what was in the box, considering its size it was either a bracelet or a necklace but it surely had more meaning behind it, otherwise Maria wouldn't have said that they'd need to be alone. She didn't know why, but she felt the need to go sit next to the Christmas tree, on the ground. Maybe it was because of its scent or because she was closer to the fireplace and the warmth that emanated from it.

Carol came back from the kitchen a few minutes later with the promised hot-chocolates in hands and sat beside Natasha on the floor. The redhead took the mug Carol was handing her and drank a long sip, feeling her whole body warming up as the liquid ran down her throat. Carol took the box that was on Natasha's lap and observed it cautiously while Natasha finished her drink.

"Wanna open it?" The blonde asked after Natasha had put her empty mug on the wooden floor.

Natasha nodded one time and waited for Carol to give her her present. She could see the nervousness on her girlfriend's face and it stressed her even more, she really didn't know what to expect of it.

Without further ado, the redhead opened the box and discovered a silver chain with a hexagon-shaped red pendant. Natasha gasped seeing it, that was certainly the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen, "It's a ruby," Carol said quietly, "if you were wondering."

Natasha stood gaping, her finger running over gemstone, "Angel, this is amazing."

"And there is a story behind it."

Natasha watched Carol getting more comfortable, sitting up with her legs crossed and put her mug away. She took Natasha's hand and the redhead squeezed gently to give her girlfriend some courage and support, seeing she was getting emotional.

"Okay um," the blonde began before clearing her throat, "A year after I came out, I got a text from my mother, telling me that my grandma was at the hospital, she was very sick and probably wouldn't make it. She…" Carol chuckled, shaking her head, "she told me I could visit the Sundays and Tuesdays, because the other day she would be there with my father, that bitch." she looked at Natasha with a smirk, but the redhead didn't know how to respond, she simply smiled and squeezed her hand again, wordlessly telling her to carry on.

"Anyway, I went to see her a couple of times and she asked me why she didn't see me at Christmas and Thanksgiving so I figured that my parents hadn't told her that they had thrown me out, nor that I was gay. The third time I went to see her, she asked me if I had a boyfriend and I didn't know what to tell her. I was so scared to tell her I was a lesbian but I also wanted to tell her the truth so I did, I told her that I wasn't the boyfriend kind of girl and she just took my hands, smiled and said 'do you have a girlfriend then' and I cried me eyes out." After those words, Carol, who had been staring at the wall in front of her the whole time glanced into Natasha's eyes with her hazelnut wet ones. She blinked and a tear escaped her eye but Natasha wiped it away with her free hand before pressing their forehead together. The blonde quickly sat back to her initial position and sniffled before continuing, "I was so shocked that she reacted that way, I mean, how could she be so… open minded and her son such a homophobic douchebag. Her accepting me for who I really was gave me all the confidence I had when we met, and then you gave me even more."

Carol stopped for a dozens of seconds, taking sharp breaths and Natasha guessed they were coming to the hard part of the story, but also the most meaningful, "She was getting worse and the family was saying that she wouldn't live for a lot longer, it was a Wednesday, I couldn't wait until Sunday to see her so I went to the hospital anyway. I called beforehand and a nurse told her I was coming. My grandma threw everybody out of the room, she wanted to be alone with me, the face my father did when he saw me, memorable. So we were together chatting and she took a box out of her drawer and showed me this." The blonde looked down at the necklace, safe in its box resting on Natasha's lap. "I had seen it before, she had worn it for special occasions. She explained me the story behind it, the first present she had from my grandpa, and she told me to offer it the girl that would mean everything to me, that when I would find the one girl, I had to give it to her, as a promise that I'll always be there for her, and that's what I'm doing now."

She stopped talking again, but this time she changed position to face Natasha. She took the necklace in one hand while keeping her other linked with Natasha's, "Before you I had never been that much dependent of someone, I've had girlfriends but it was not like it is with you. It's hard to explain… I just know that you were meant for me, maybe it's the karma or something but it just feels so right when we are together, I felt like that the second I met you at the library and it never left me. When we fought I could tell it wasn't supposed to happen, that we weren't supposed to fight, that we should be happy instead. I don't want to wait to give you this because I know that you are the one girl that means everything to me. It might sound early, we've known each other for like four months but the feeling is just so strong and so right, I simply can't wait anymore."

Without a word, Natasha turned, her back facing Carol, and took her hair in her hands. The blonde put the necklace on, struggling a bit to attach the two ends. Moving back to face the blonde, Natasha saw her crying big tears of joy as she saw the necklace perfectly hanging between the redhead's collarbones. She get on her knees, feet tucked under her butt, to be closer and cupped Carol's cheeks before leaning in to kiss her. Pulling away she pressed her forehead against Carol's, eyes closed and took her hands.

"Nat, you didn't say anything, about the 'one girl thing'." Carol whispered. Natasha could tell by the blonde's tone that she was smiling.

The redhead slowly opened her eyes, a grin forming on her lips as her emerald gaze met Carol's hazelnut one. She nuzzled the blonde's nose before pulling out, "Bucky rightly said a few days ago when he came to see me that it looked like I had met the love of my life." her voice trembled during the whole sentence and there she realised she was crying as well. They mutually wiped each other's tears, breathy laughter escaping their mouths.

"And what did you say?"

"That it felt like it, because you are." Natasha confessed, her stomach aching and her cheeks heating up as she said the words. This feeling disappeared when Carol's hands landed on her, all the stress of saying such an important thing faded away and was replaced by her unconditional love for the blonde. "And you are mine." Carol replied before wrapping her arms around Natasha. They held each other tightly in a weird position but they didn't care, they just wanted to be in the other's arms, they needed it.

Suddenly, Carol pulled out of the embrace with an intrigued look, "Wait, when did you talked to Bucky?"

"Ah!" Natasha chuckled, leaning towards the coffee table to take Carol's present, "That's when _you_ have to open your present and I'll explain everything."

Natasha teased her girlfriend a little, acting like she was going to give it to her to take it back against her chest, "Oh, my God, stop being a baby, I thought it was my job." Carol said giggling, desperately tried to catch the gift.

"Eh, careful little baby, you gonna rip it." Natasha warned, slightly tapping Carol's hand to stop her from grasping the paper.

"I mean, that's the goal of a gift-wrap, right!"

Natasha shook her head, "Not the gift-wrap, dummy, what's inside."

"Oh, now I really wanna know what it is!"

Natasha finally gave Carol her present and attentively watched her opening it, her smile growing bigger when she saw the blonde face enlightened by her typical grin. She browsed through Natasha's translation of novel and Bucky's Russian lessons, quietly laughing as she understood when the redhead and her brother met up, "James did all this, he wasn't supposed to but I needed help to finish in time so I told him."

"Natasha, you really wrote down the whole thing for me?"

"Of course, you like it?"

"I love it, thank you Red." Carol whispered to Natasha before softly kissing her cheek.

Carol read the synopsis on the back of the book, squinting her eyes to try to decipher the Cyrillic characters, or at least the one she remembered.

"This book have been written by a bisexual woman for her lesbian girlfriend," Natasha spoke up, seeing that Carol wasn't understanding a thing of what she was reading, "back in the days when being gay was considered has a disease in Russia. At the time, she knew that publishing it would destroy her career, if not lock her in a psychiatric hospital so she did only two copies of it, one for her girlfriend and the other that she kept in her attic. She lived her whole life hiding who she was and never could publish the book that was just her declaration of love to the most important person of her life. Years later, when being gay became 'accepted' in the country, somebody found the book in the house that had been abandoned after her death and gave it to a publishing house and it become the best seller in East Europe."

"Take that homophobes!" Carol shouted, rising her clenched fists in the air in victory.

Natasha didn't reply to that, she just stared at Carol in total adoration, the side of her head pressed against the wall, while the blonde was happily reading the first words of the Russian lessons. She laughed as Carol tried and failed to pronounce some words, but for her defence she said 'I love you' right back when she and Natasha reconciled a few weeks earlier. The taller girl realised as she opened both the book and the translation that Natasha had translated every single thing, even the name of the publishing house and so went to the end of those to read the synopsis. Seeing that, Natasha thought she might have to explain why she chose that book and stopped Carol before she could read it, "This novel pictures perfectly how I feel about you, about us. I really want you to read it cautiously, that way you'll understand everything I feel and what's going on in my head when I'm with you."

"I will baby." Carol promised and kissed Natasha's temple.

"The only way for me to explain it better would be by writing a novel myself."

"That would be the best present you could ever offer me."

"Maybe one day." the redhead replied with a smirk.

What Natasha didn't say was that she had started to write a short poem in the notes of her phone, reusing the last sentence of the novel and added her personal words, and she would give it to Carol when she'd be at the end of the book.

After one last hug, Natasha joined the Rambeaus in the kitchen and helped them preparing lunch while Carol went to her room to put her present somewhere safe and to shower and change into more dressed-up clothing. When she was done, Natasha left to put on some chic clothes herself and came back just in time for the beginning of the meal.

Natasha couldn't remembered the last time she had had such an amazing lunch with that much diverse food but it was surely the best she had eaten in years. It had also been a long time since she felt at home, which was kind of weird for her because three out of the four people seated at the table with her were almost strangers, even though she had learnt to know them in the last few days.

She supposed that the real reason why she felt like that was Carol, with all the things they said and all the rest that they knew about each other, their feelings, that was what made her feel like she was meant to be here, she was meant to be wherever Carol was, and she was for sure going to spend every single second of her holidays in her company.

Carol was her new home.


	10. They don't deserve you

Natasha discovered that, for Carol, holidays meant waking up at 11 o'clock, breakfast didn't exist, and her days were basically watching films and TV shows in the living room with her best friend. It was a different life style than hers but she grew to enjoy it, not that it was difficult to enjoy, she was spending almost the whole day glued to her girlfriend, either in bed sleeping or cuddling on the sofa, the little time she had alone was in the bathroom.

On the 30th though, the blonde decided to take Natasha out for a stroll in a park she used to go when she was young. It was nice to be outside, they hadn't left the house since the morning they went with Maria on a run, almost a week ago, breathing the winter air of Louisiana was refreshing and most welcomed for the both of them.

Carol showed Natasha her favourite nooks and spots there, told her some stories and memories she had from there, the majority of them happened when she came here with her parents but she didn't mentioned them, she only used 'they', 'she' and 'he' but never called them by their names nor 'Mom', 'Dad' or 'my parents'. Natasha did the same with her parents when she talked about them, but the difference was that hers died, Carol's were somewhere in this town, she could see them, the redhead had a feeling that she wanted to go see them but also something was hold her back, probably the fear of being hurt by them again.

They stopped their walk at a fence, preventing people to fall into a stream of water that crossed the whole park and observed the landscape. Carol stood behind Natasha, her arms wrapped around Natasha's waist and held her in a comfortable silence, her cold breathing on the redhead's neck making her shiver. They stood there for a good ten minutes, not a word was said, they just admire the nature living around them.

"Carol?" a voice said suddenly from behind them.

The both turned to see who was there and Carol gasped as she realised she knew very well that person, "Mom?"

"Hi, it's been a while." The older woman said, standing a few metres away from the couple.

"I'm wondering why." the blonde replied in an instant with a sarcastic tone, walking in front of Natasha, either to hide her or protect her, the redhead thought. It also could be both considering that Carol's mother wasn't the tolerant kind, according to what she had heard of her.

"You're looking good, tennis was really the good choice for you."

The blonde scoffed, "Yet, I haven't been playing for two years."

"Oh! But you are still at the university with the scholarship, right?" The older woman was really surprised, she definitely had no idea what her daughter had been doing for the last past year at least, maybe more.

"I left actually, I'm in New York now, studying astrophysics."

"That's great, and who is this lovely girl behind you?"

She looked back and the Russian girl smiled at her, giving her the green light to tell her mother that they were dating, "Um, this is Natasha, my girlfriend."

Carol's mother stayed silent for a moment and then took a side step to see Natasha better, "Oh, is that your grandmothers necklace?" she pointed, her attention back to Carol.

"It is." The blonde replied as she moved back to be in front of Natasha, and their she was definitely willing to protect her, but it was too late.

"How do you have it? We've been looking for it everywhere." The older woman stated with a sudden aggressive tone.

Carol took a step forward, frowning, "She gave it to me, before she died, you have no right on it."

The older woman shook her head, "She gave you a necklace worth at least a grand and you just gave it to the first dyke you met in New York."

Carol got closer again, keeping Natasha as far as possible from her mother with her arm stretched toward her, preventing her from intervening, "For one second I thought you had change, but you are still the same intolerant stingy fucking witch. You think you know her better than me, just by one look at her, huh? You think she's just a girl I sleep with? This girl is the most important person in my life. She, unlike you, loves me and supports me for who I am, and I will never let you disrespect her in any way."

Natasha grabbed Carol's hand and took a step back but the blonde didn't follow her and stepped closer to her mother, so close she could head-butt her, "Babe, let's just leave, come on." the redhead said but her words got lost in the wind.

"I thought college would've changed you but you are still the kid you were when you left."

Carol gasped, "When I left? You threw me out, you bitch." she yelled with her hands clenched into fists and there, Natasha thought Carol was going to punch her mother in the face.

"Carol, ignore her." Natasha said, more firmly this time, tugging the sleeve of Carol's sweater to force her to leave.

The blonde looked back at her girlfriend and her featured changed, it was like seeing Natasha instantly calmed her, "You know what? Once again, she's right. You don't deserve me, you can just go fuck yourself."

"Very mature of you, Carol." At that, Carol just walked backwards and gave her mother the finger with both her hands, and Natasha could hear the older woman shouting homophobic slurs, but neither one of the girls cared about it.

Natasha couldn't distinguish how Carol felt after that encounter with her mother as they walked back to the Rambeaus' house, the blonde was talking normally and nothing on her face were telling her she was sad or angry. With that in mind, the redhead forgot about that unpleasant conversation and chatted with her girlfriend as if nothing happened.

Their talk escalated from nice compliments to flirty comments and, before Natasha could say something about it, they were back in the house, in Carol's room, the redhead pinned between the taller girl and the door. With Carol's hands firmly gripping her hips, she had no way out, not that she wanted one, but she could feel that the situation could easily slip out her of her hands and she was still not ready for that.

Natasha was kissing back with as much eager as Carol, aggressively stroking her hands in the blonde locks as they invaded each other's mouths with their tongues. With a smooth and swift move, Carol lifted Natasha off the ground and carried her to the bed, the redhead wrapping her legs around Carol's waist and didn't let go when she settled her down, taking the blonde with her in her fall.

Laying above the bedsheets, they both explored the other's body they had learnt to know by heart with all the time they had spent together but they hadn't a full knowledge of them yet. Natasha's hands wrapped around Carol's neck, she didn't think that it would give the blonde all the space she needed to explore the little part of Natasha she didn't know.

Her hand slid on the inside of Natasha's clothed thigh, making the redhead shiver, "Babe… Eh… slow down." Natasha mumbled between kisses, her heavy breathing making her words almost not audible. She tried several times to break the kiss but it didn't stop the woman on top of her kept capturing her lips every times a gap was formed between them.

"Carol." Natasha moaned as the blonde slipped her hand under her jeans, "Carol!" she said again, louder this time when she felt two fingers rubbing her sex through her knickers. The redhead suddenly sat up, grabbing Carol by the wrist and took her hand off her body, "You know I'm not ready for that, what the fuck is wrong with you!?" she shouted but instantly regretted it, sure the whole house and the people inside heard her.

"I don't know, ask that to my mother." Carol replied and sat at the edge of the bed, hiding her face in her hands.

The redhead observed her a bit from afar, but had to react when she saw her girlfriend trembling, "Oh, baby…" Natasha carefully moved closer to Carol and gently caressed her back, the other girl muffling her sobs with her hand. She sat beside her and wrapped her arm around her shoulder, pulling the blonde's head against her neck.

"You know I'm here for you, no reason to hide your feelings." Natasha said and kissed Carol's hair, in a vain attempt to make her feel better.

"I thought I was fine," the blonde said with a sniffle, "guess I was wrong."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No, I don't wanna give her importance, she's nothing to me, I just want to move on but it's hard."

"I know baby." Natasha whispered before kissing Carol's temple. Silently, Natasha moved to the other side of the bed and pulled Carol with her, the blonde mechanically laying beside Natasha, her arms wrapped around her waist and her head resting on her belly, that way Natasha wouldn't see her crying.

The redhead had nothing else to do than stroking her fingers in Carol's her to try to soothe her, it would take a long time but it would eventually work.

After at least two hours of tears and quiet sobbing, Carol fell asleep with exhaustion, which was for the best at the moment in Natasha's opinion, at least she wasn't thinking about her mother and, hopefully, she wouldn't dream about her either.

She didn't have the time to take a phone to distract herself with social media, Maria knocked and entered the room, rising an eyebrow as she saw the couple in bed already, it was half past seven.

"Dinner's ready, you two coming?" she asked but it was obvious at her face that she didn't expect a positive answer.

"She's asleep and I don't wanna let her alone, if she wakes up she's gonna think I abandoned her." Natasha replied with a low voice, tilting her head as she looked at her girlfriend with loving eyes.

Maria sat at the edge of the bed, "I heard you shouting, what was it about?"

"That has nothing to do with why she cried. We saw her mother in the park."

"Oh shit!" Maria exclaimed and then covered her mouth with her hands, eyes wide opened, she had talked louder than what she wanted to.

"Yeah, it was okay at first but then she said something about me and Carol just snapped at her."

"That bitch." The black haired girl groaned, gritting her teeth.

"I think Carol had hope that she wasn't like her father you know, because she didn't say anything when he threw her out, maybe she regretted what happened but she definitely doesn't."

Maria nodded, "I always suspected that too, though she tried to hide it."

"It's really over this time I guess." Natasha sighed.

Without saying anything, Maria stood up and left the room, giving Natasha one last encouraging smile before closing the door.

As she stared at her sleeping girlfriend, her cheeks still wet from the tears and sad features, Natasha could hear Maria and her parents talking about Carol's mother in the kitchen, and there was not a single positive thing that was said. Most of what she heard was about the woman being hated by a lot of her neighbours, so much that her and her husband moved house a couple of times before finding a neighbourhood where their reputations of intolerant people didn't follow them. On top of being homophobic, Carol's parents were also racist, or as Maria's mum said, 'they weren't thrilled about their daughter's best friend being a girl of colour', which was quite ironic because the majority of New Orleans' population was black or African American.

The redhead couldn't relate to what Carol had been and was going through, her coming out to her family had been easy, but she still understood how it felt to lose her parents, even though Carol's parents were not dead, they were out of her life, and for good this time, Natasha hoped.

She tried to relax a bit, changing position to be actually laying on the bed with Carol's head on her chest. She was stuck here, the blonde was deeply asleep and wouldn't wake up until the next morning, so, even though she was starving she decided to stay and sleep.

She had scarcely closed her eyes that she heard a knock on the door. Maria entered with a bowl in her hands and walked towards the bed, "Hey, thought you might be hungry. Here's a fruit salad for you and there's leftovers in the fridge if one of you wake up during the night." she said and gave the food and a spoon to Natasha.

Th redhead took a spoonful of fruit and had to hold back a hum of pleasure as her taste buds were overwhelmed by the sweet flavour. She ate the whole bowl, careful at every motion not to wake up the sleepy girl resting on her chest. Maria just sat there, glancing between Natasha and Carol, a soft smile on her face.

When she was done, Natasha gave the bowl and spoon back to Maria and the black haired woman gently squeezed her hand before heading to the door.

"Thank you Maria, really." Natasha spoke up before she had stepped outside of the room.

"Carol's girl's my girl too." Maria said with a click of the tongue and a wink before closing the door behind her.

Natasha didn't really know what that meant, but it was most certainly a good news for her. She was glad to get along that well with Carol's best friend, nay, with Carol's family. The blonde didn't called them that way, but for what Natasha had seen, the four of them acted like it.

She was starting to feel very tired and knowing that they wouldn't go to sleep early the next day to celebrate the new year, Natasha sighed contently and closed her eyes, holding tight the girl laying next to her.

She thought about the earlier events, how she should have seen the drama coming, but her optimism came back at the worse moment and she let the situation go downhill. Comforting Carol would be her task for the next morning, she had to get Carol into shape for the party in the evening but she knew how to do that, cuddles and a talk between them and Maria would do the trick.

After New Year's Eve the holidays would be quickly over, they had their flight back to New York the 3rd of January and Natasha counted on those last days to get as much good moments with the Rambeaus and Carol as possible, especially with what happened on the afternoon, the redhead wanted to show Carol that she had a real family here, and that she, in fact, didn't needed her blood related family.


	11. So proud of what you've accomplished

New Year's Eve had been what you could expect of a celebration with your family, a big dinner, board games until ten minutes before midnight, countdown and cheers, warm hugs and good wishes for the fresh year that started. Those were the kind of new year party Natasha liked the most actually, because she was with the people, that year person, she loved the most, and a new family that she was learning to appreciate very much. Of course, she would never forget who was _her_ family, Anthony and James, they were her first thought as midnight rang, and she spent a long thirty minutes with each of them to catch up.

Tony was having a really good time at Pepper's house, he said her parents that were lovely and welcoming and sounded tremendously happy. It had been a long while since the last time Natasha had heard him talking with that much true joy in his tone, she had missed it.

Bucky and Steve were also spending great holidays, Steve's coming out went well, easier than what he had anticipated and he was having a really great time with his boyfriend. This phone call quickly turned into a conference with Carol and Maria participating as Natasha put the speaker phone, they all had a nice time, even separated by more than two thousand kilometres, and even with an almost stranger that was Maria for the boys on the other side of the call.

No need to say that the goodbyes two days later were hard, especially between Carol and Maria, they hugged for at least five minutes while Natasha was talking to Maria's parents. Oddly for the redhead, she got emotional saying goodbye to Maria, she really liked the girl and was proud to call her her friend now.

Carol chose the flight as the best moment to apologise for how she behaved after they encountered her mother in the park, even though they were surrounded by the people in the plane. Natasha told her that it was fine, that she didn't hold anything against her, that she understood, but the blonde was adamant on the fact that she owed her an apology for acting like an asshole, for forcing Natasha into something she wasn't ready to do. She also explained that sex was her coping mechanism, back when she had just come out and was often reminded of the way her parents threw her out by some guys from her class in high school, or when they called her names. With time, this bad habit disappeared, Carol feeling more and more proud of herself and therefore not in need to let off steam, but it came back really quickly when she got hurt again, as they both observed.

After that, the holidays quickly reached their end and the normal life started again. Without any news about their exams' results, Natasha had to go to her classes until she'd know if she had passed her exams with enough points to get her degree, if it was the case she could stop going to classes. The matter of where she would sleep if she had her degree worried Carol but was easily sorted, Natasha (or rather Tony) had paid for the whole year, meaning she could stay in the dorm until the end of the semester.

The first of February, the university gave the news that the results of the exams would be given the 14th of the same month, on Valentin's day, what a good way to potentially ruin a couple evening by learning one of them failed at their exams. Natasha wasn't worried about that at all, if not this semester, she would get her degree easily at the next one. Carol stress came back quite hardly though, she started remembering all the things she did during her papers and doubted herself.

The redhead let Wanda deal with Carol's mood and focus on preparing the perfect date for their first Valentin's day together. She asked Tony if she could have their parents house for the whole day, hoping he hadn't planned something for himself and Pepper. He gladly let her have it, saying that he didn't know what he would do on that Saturday, but it would surely end up at Pepper's, and, being in a pro in the Tony matter, it would end up in sex, Natasha thought.

Knowing that Carol would want to study a minimum during that weekend, she would invite her to the house the Friday evening, let her do what she wanted to the next morning and then plan a whole romantic afternoon and evening for them. There was a part of the house she hadn't show to Carol when she did the tour back when they weren't officially dating, but she knew the other girl would love it, and it would distract her from the exams' results.

Two days before Valentin's day, Carol joined Natasha to her room with the biggest grin she had ever had, "Hey Angel, why so happy?" Natasha wonder, getting her head out of her book.

"My therapist told me I was healed. I kinda knew it was coming soon but it feels really good to know it's finally over."

"Oh, my God, that's great," Natasha got out of bed, with a smile matching Carol's joy and hugged her tight, "it means we can work out together now." she added as she pulled out of the embrace, keeping her arms wrapped around the blonde.

Carol responded with a frenetic nod before kissing Natasha, smiling as their lips met, "I'll show you my skills and will finally see yours."

Since the moment Carol told Natasha she used to play tennis at a high level, the redhead had wanted to play against her, to see if she was as good as she said, and also because tennis was a sport she like. They didn't plan any training session as of yet, waiting to know if Natasha would have to go to class or the rest of the semester or not before scheduling something.

Carol left later that day, she had to study with Wanda and Bucky, and it gave Natasha some time alone to actually plan the afternoon and evening they would spend for Valentin's day. She came out with what she thought was the best idea for them, watching Legends of Tomorrow together like she promised, maybe a dozen episodes, then the room surprise, shower and finally dinner. Natasha didn't know when exactly they would get their exams' results but whenever it was she wanted to find out after their day together, not during.

The day before Valentin's day, Natasha went to her parents house early after she went to the grocery store and ordered takeouts that arrived just before Carol. They ate watching a film and went to bed immediately, they were both tired from their week, even though they did make out for a long time before going to sleep.

The next morning, as intended, Carol woke up around 8 o'clock and went to the living room to study, leaving Natasha alone in bed for almost two hours. The redhead joined Carol with a tray with food for both of them on it, knowing that she wouldn't have taken the time to eat before starting studying, and helped her girlfriend with the part of her lessons she had a hard time memorising.

The morning quickly shifted into afternoon and so, it was time for Carol to stop studying. Natasha brought popcorns from the kitchen and pressed played on Carol's favourite TV show, the other girl surprised and thrilled that the redhead was finally going to discover this hilarious show that she loved so much.

They spent a lovely afternoon cuddling and eating snacks, and Natasha had to admit that Legends of Tomorrow was a really enjoyable and entertaining show.

After half a dozen episodes, Carol stood up from the sofa and went upstairs, followed by Natasha who didn't understand what was happening. The blonde almost closed the door on her girlfriend as she hadn't realised she was following her, "What is it babe?" she asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Gonna take a shower."

"Nope, not happening. I've got something better for you." Natasha walked to her wardrobe and took two bikinis out of it, one for her and one for Carol.

"Put that on."

Carol raised an eyebrow, "Red, it's freezing outside, I'm not going in the pool."

"I never said we were going in the pool." Natasha replied with a wink and a smirk before closing the door, giving Carol privacy to change and for herself as well.

The blonde stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, still not convinced that Natasha's idea was a good one. Wordlessly, Natasha took her girlfriend's hand and lead her downstairs to a door the blonde had never seen. They walked down others stairs and arrived in what looked like a spa, with stuff to do massages and a jacuzzi. Natasha turned it on, bubbles forming in the water and lights coming from underneath it, creating a very soothing atmosphere. Carol went inside, sighing contently at the hot temperature of the water warming up her body. Natasha put on some chill music before joining the blonde, she sat beside her with her head resting on the other girl's shoulder.

They intertwined their fingers naturally, both relaxing in the bubbling water, Natasha feeling like she would easily fall asleep here within the next fifteen minutes if she didn't force herself to keep her eyes open, although she usually couldn't sleep anywhere else than in a bed. She find only one way to make the tiredness go away, and that was by straddling Carol's lap and kissing her eagerly. Carol took some time to kiss back, which made the redhead laugh into the kiss, she had managed to surprise Carol even more than what she did with the jacuzzi.

Natasha acted with calm and cleverness to keep the control of the situation, using the height difference that she had to deepen the kiss whenever she wanted and to slow down when she felt that the blonde was on edge, grasping her thighs or her ass. It was very pleasant to be in control, not only of what was happening between them, but also of what she felt, she was able to stay calm and know how to keep her lust level low, which hadn't happen to her in a long time.

With all that self confidence, she gently pushed Carol against the back of the seat and attacked her neck with open-mouthed kisses, the other girl responding to that with a long satisfied hum. She could have kept going for a long time, nibbling Carol's earlobe and kissing her cheeks and jaw but, surprisingly, Carol pulled away, her chest rising up and down at a fast speed, "Babe… I really love all that but… maybe it's too much." she panted.

At that, Natasha could only smile, Carol wasn't usually the one stopping them when they were making out, because she wanted to have sex with Natasha but now, she did it without the redhead asking, because she respected the fact that the redhead wasn't ready. Natasha gave Carol's lips a gentle kiss before leaving the jacuzzi, taking a towel for herself and handed one for her girlfriend.

"Go take a shower and join me in the kitchen." Natasha said with a wink as she turned off the music and jacuzzi.

Upstairs, Natasha opened the fridge to take the ingredients of the only recipe she knew, a ratatouille. It was the recipe of her mother, she learnt it just by watching her doing it when she was younger and added vegetables and seasoning of her taste, which only made it better, her family said when she once cooked it for them.

She knew the technique to peel and chop very fast and put all the aubergines, tomatoes, onions, garlics, courgette and pepper in a pan before Carol had finished her shower. While it was cooking, she set up the table with silverware and candles to make it look fancier than it was, not that Carol cared about it but it still was more romantic than eating chips in a paper plate. She was still in her bikini with her towel wrapped around her waist when Carol came back from the bathroom, dressed in a white blouse and black jeans. The blonde laughed watching the scene, which made Natasha jump, too focus in her work to notice Carol leaning against the door frame.

"Hey," Natasha started, turning the fire under the pan down, "can you check that these don't overcook while I go take a shower real quick." Carol nodded and took an apron to protect her clean clothes.

She ran fast to the bathroom and took the fastest shower of her life. Back in her room with her towel around her torso, she went through the clothes she had in her wardrobe and chose the jumpsuit she wore at the party Carol came to in that same house. She thought it would be a nice reminder of what happened that night, when they formalised their relationship, and it was also a very sexy and appropriate outfit for the night.

Coming back to the kitchen in this piece of clothing earned her a giggle from the blonde, who couldn't resist the urge to pull her into a lingering kiss.

"I think I didn't burn the whole thing." Carol said with a laugh, giving Natasha are spot back at the hotplate. Natasha added thyme, salt, pepper and bay leaf in the pan, mixed all the ingredients together one last time before serving them in plates nicely laid out.

The dinner went delightfully, Carol enjoyed the food, the best shit she had ever eaten she said, and she seemed to have completely forgotten about the exams, which was what Natasha was aiming for.

After the main course, and while Natasha was preparing the dessert, chocolate mousse that she bought the day before, Carol left the table and came back with something wrapped in a messy gift-warp. Natasha served the desserts without saying a thing about it, she just glanced at it a few times, intrigued.

"Listen," Carol spoke up when Natasha was seated, "I know we didn't talk about this, and at first I wasn't going to buy you something for Valentin's day but-"

Natasha, who wasn't listening a thing of what Carol was saying, took the gift and opened it, her jaw dropping when she saw the cover, it was a book she had heard about, back in Russia, but she had never found a copy of it, "Carol, you shouldn't have!" she exclaimed, standing up to join the blonde on her side of the table. She sat on Carol's lap and kissing her cheek to thank her.

"Bucky told me you had never read this one, so I thought it was a good occasion."

"Thank you so much, Angel." Natasha whispered as she leaned closer to Carol's mouth, her lips brushing the blonde's as she said the last word. Their lips barely touched but it was the softness of the gesture that mattered for the redhead, Carol made her feel safe but also vulnerable, she didn't have to ask for anything and the blonde gave her all she needed and even more, and that was the definition of a healthy relationship for Natasha, that was what she wanted to show with that kiss.

"I read, or at least tried to read the beginning and it sounds interesting." Natasha shook her head with a laugh, she knew this book would be good or else she wouldn't want to read it but she loved that Carol was making efforts to actually try to learn Russian. Knowing that also gave her an idea of the next book she and Carol would read together, when the blonde would be done with the short novel she had for Christmas.

After a more passionate kiss, Natasha pulled Carol into a hug and whispered, "I love you."

"Love you too."

The redhead went back to her chair to eat her dessert, Carol taking back their chat were they had left it. Natasha laughed discreetly as she took a mouthful of chocolate mousse, the day went by with Carol not mentioning once the exams, mission accomplished for Natasha, "You really forgot the results were today?" she asked with a smirk.

"What? No, why?" Carol mumbled as she took a bite of mousse in her mouth.

"Because they've been up for hours."

Carol stood up from her chair, the spoon still in her mouth as she spoke, "What!! You should have told me!"

"I didn't want it to ruin our day, not that I think one of us isn't going to have to result they expected, I just wanted to have the whole day without distraction." Natasha explained as she walked towards the blonde, taking the spoon out of her mouth and kissed her cheek.

"Aw! That's actually super cute." Carol replied, her head tilted to the side and her eyes full of love, "Wanna wait till the end of dinner to check?"

Natasha nodded with a big smile, "I'd like that, yes."

They went back to their seats and finished their mousses wordlessly, both now having only the exams' results in mind, as much as they wanted to thing about something else.

Carol put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher before going to the living to sit with Natasha, the moment had come, time to know if they passed their exams or not.

"You got it?" the blonde asked as she clicked on the mail from the university she had received earlier, which contained a link to her results.

"It's loading." Natasha replied coldly, nervousness suddenly overwhelming her.

"Same."

"Oh. My God!" the redhead shouted, her voice resonating in the whole house.

"What?"

"I did it babe," she said before launching herself into Carol's arms, the taller girl hugging her tight, "I got my degree!"

"Congratulations! So proud of you baby!" the blonde said in the embrace, kissing Natasha's temple multiple times.

Pulling away, Natasha put her phone on the coffee table before getting her attention to Carol's, "What about you?" she asked, taking the blonde's free hand in hers.

"Holy shit!" Carol said as loudly as Natasha a couple of minutes ago. The redhead took the phone and gasped as Carol stoop up, holding her head in her hands, "I have a perfect grade in Astrophysics and Quantum mechanics."

Natasha got on her feet and cupped Carol's cheeks, "Damn, you really are a genius."

"Was there ever any doubt of that?" the blonde replied with a faux-offended tone, wrapping her arms around Natasha's waist.

Natasha shook her head, smiling from ear to ear as she stroked her thumbs up and down Carol's cheeks, "My brilliant idiot baby Angel."

Natasha couldn't describe how proud she was, of her girlfriend first, she did amazing at her exams and would easily get her degree at the end of the year, she also overcame her difficult injury and could finally practice sports again, and she was learning a new complicated language that was Russian. But she was also proud of herself for what she achieved after all she had been through since the death of her parents, she was sure they would be proud of her.

In the next hour, the both called their closest friends and family, Carol telling the good news that were hers and Natasha's results to Maria and her parents while the redhead had Bucky and Steve on the phone. The brunet did as good as he expected, slightly better even, and Steve passed with surprising marks, especially in Biology, paper I thought he had failed miserably. Tony didn't pick up the phone, which was surely a good news, he was probably celebrating with Pepper and Natasha didn't want to know the specifics of what they were doing to celebrate. Carol had a text from Wanda, who also passed with good marks but was busy on a date and couldn't answer the phone.

It was with those great news and after a wonderful Valentin's day that the couple went to bed. Yes, Natasha had her degree and could relax for a bit but Carol still had some exams to take before she'd have hers, which meant the redhead would be on duty for the next months to help her study and succeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in a previous chapter's note, I don't really know how college works in the US so I base my writing on what happens in France, whether it's for how the exams happen and what's in them or when are their results.


	12. I give myself to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really satisfied with what I've written for this chapter, I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Life was great for Natasha since Valentin's day, she had graduated from college but was still living there with her girlfriend, Carol now sleeping more in Natasha's room than in her own. She took a job at one of the libraries of the campus, the very library she met Carol back in October. She wasn't paid that much but at least she was doing something of her days and the schedule was light, she still had a lot of time for herself to go to the gym or help Carol studying on her times off, and she was surrounded by books she could read whenever she wanted without having to lend them.

She also used that time to read the book she got from Carol for Valentin's day, it was as great as anticipated, even better, it would probably become one of her favourite novel, at least in the top five she said when she reached the half of it.

As the days passed, Carol's birthday approached and, with that, Natasha had to find something to offer to the blonde. When she thought about it, Carol just paid for brunch for her birthday, not that she had to get her something equivalent in term of price, or more expansive, it wasn't a competition.

However, she was saving money for her future, therefore a cheap present would be good for her finances, especially because she wasn't looking for a job that would actually pay her correctly to live and her future was still unclear, would she and Carol live together after the blonde graduated, would Carol want to go back to New Orleans, she didn't know and wasn't going to ask yet. Them breaking up wasn't a possibility, in the scenarios Natasha imagined, the couple overcame every difficult situations, every fights and lived happily ever after.

The money she inherited from her parents was blocked on an account until Natasha would turn twenty one, it was a comfortable amount of money for a young adult starting their life but she'd have to do without it for a few months after the official graduation ceremony in July, and so the end of her being able to sleep at the dorms and having a professional activity.

Since Carol's birthday was a Friday, Natasha thought, rightly so, that her friends would want to throw a party for her, the blonde was turning twenty one after all, she was officially an adult and this had to be celebrated. With the help of Wanda, and the permission of Tony to have the party at their parents' house, to which Bucky was of course invited, she prepared the event, invited all Carol's friends, even Maria who gladly bought a plane ticket to be there, all that in the biggest secrecy.

Carol had absolutely no idea that this was coming, she barely talked about her birthday and when she did she just said that she wanted to have a great day with Natasha.

The redhead had an idea to make this day the best Carol could think of, she wasn't sure it would happen though, it would depend on their moods, but now that she felt better and in symbiosis with her body, maybe they would go further than making out.

A week before her birthday, Carol went back to their – Natasha's – room with a wonderful news, the only class she had the Fridays was cancelled for the next two weeks, which meant she would be free for the whole day of her birthday. Knowing that, Natasha moved the working out session she had the Thursday afternoon to the Friday morning, and this time she and Carol would go together. They went only once at the gym together since Carol had had the green light from her physiotherapist, the blonde was still really busy with the lessons she had to study, practising sports wasn't her priority at the moment.

They weren't in bed when the 23rd of April turned to the 24th, which earned Carol the tightest hug she had ever had the second Natasha realised it was past midnight. The blonde spent the first half hour of her day of birth, 'I love yous' whispered to her ear, soft kisses left on her neck, cheeks and forehead, Natasha stroking her fingers in her long golden hair or tracing circles in the back of her neck. No need to precise that all those loving attentions soothed Carol so much that she fell asleep in Natasha's arms, a small smile on her lips as her head was resting on the redhead's chest.

They awoke by the sound of a soft melody coming from Natasha's phone, alarm that she had set up at 9 AM so they'd have the time to get dressed and go eat breakfast to arrive at the gym at the opening. The couple left their room wearing running shoes, spandex and jackets above their sports bras, nobody was allow to go out on the campus without a top that covered the major part of their chest, university rules.

In the gym, Natasha did her work out routine; push-ups, squats, climbers, back-kicks, bridge taps, two minutes of break, repeat, while Carol focused on her arms and back, lifting dumbbell and barbell to regain the strength she had lost because of her injury. Natasha added two more sets to what she usually did because she couldn't do the punches she did when Steve was with her, she needed someone to spar with, they were the only person in the gym and Carol was too occupied to do it with her. To her surprise, she finished her session before the blonde, though she had always thought that she was working out for a long time, but apparently semi professional athletes could train for two hours straight.

Carol decided to finish her session with an abdominal exercise, and for it she needed Natasha to hold her feet flat against the ground. The redhead got the great and childish idea to peck Carol every time she was close enough, which made the tennis player laugh more each time. She ended up doing a third of what she was supposed to, stopped by Natasha who jumped on her to kiss her more passionately.

Seeing that the cafeteria would be open by the time they put back on their jackets, they strolled around the campus, waiting for Carol's friends to be out of their classes to go eat with them. Wanda, and her twin brother Pietro, Bucky, Scott, Sam and Steve joined them, followed by Bruce who hadn't seen Natasha for a while. The whole table sang loudly 'happy birthday', out of tune for the majority of them, for Carol's big embarrassment.

They all had to leave quickly to go to their afternoon classes, excepted for Wanda who had a bit of free time before having to go. She used that time to tell Carol and Natasha that she was now dating the guy she went out with on Valentin's day, she seemed really happy. The blonde apologised for not being there for Wanda that much since the last holidays, to what the brunette replied that it was fine, even though she missed her friend a little. After Carol promised that she would come to their room more often. Wanda left the couple alone, winking at Natasha because she was actually going the Natasha's parents' house to get everything ready for the party.

Heading back to the dorms, Carol wanted to take a shower since they hadn't taken the time to do so after their session, but Natasha had a better idea. She pulled her into her room, unzipping hers and Carol's jacket on the way and gently pushed her onto the bed. Slowly, the redhead joined Carol on the bed, straddling her lap as the blonde was seated with her back pressed against the wall, and linked their lips.

They exchanged long and loving kisses for quite some time, Carol's hands running up and down Natasha's partly bare back, while the redhead cupped her girlfriend's cheeks. She smiled into the kiss as she felt Carol's hands lowering down to caress her thighs, grasping them when Natasha finally brushed her tongue against the blonde's bottom lip.

Tension started building up in Natasha's stomach as Carol mirrored her doing, letting her tongue escaping her mouth to tease the redhead with light touches. Wrapping her arms around Carol's neck as she pulled her closer, Natasha mindlessly rocked her hips against Carol's pelvis to release some of the pressure she felt between her leg, which made the other girl breaking the kiss as she gasped.

Carol loosen her grip, unsure what to do but Natasha smiled at her and, with their typical nose nuzzling, told her that it was fine, that they could keep going.

Instead of taking back where they were, they took a wordless break, to slow their breathing, staring into each other's eyes. Carol's hands were motionless on the redhead's thighs, waiting for the right moment to climb up her legs and dive under her clothes. After slipping blonde strands of hair behind Carol's ear, Natasha pulled her into a kiss that got heated way more quickly, their tongues meeting halfway through the other's mouth. Not breaking the contact for a second, Natasha changed position, wrapping her legs around Carol as the blonde pulled up hers to sit cross-legged.

Carefully, one of Natasha's hand left Carol's cheeks and fell in between them. She broke the kiss to see what she was doing, her lips back on the blonde's when she had slid her hand into her pants and knickers, humming as she felt the other girl's wetness on her fingers. Carol's grip tensed up as she rubbed slow circles on her clit, and before she knew it she had her hand in Natasha's pants as well, imitating what the redhead was doing. Natasha gasped loudly at the feeling, it had been a long time but it was just like she remembered and she had to admit that she had missed it. The waves of pleasure sent through her body made her moan against Carol's lips, who responded with the same sound as Natasha fastened her pace, getting more and more comfortable in a position she had never experienced before.

She had to break the kiss when she felt Carol's fingers down her folds, knowing the pleasure that would soon be released into her body would be too much for her to keep kissing the blonde properly. God, how mind-blowing it felt when Carol's fingers entered her, how amazing it was to be taking care of like this. With her non-occupied hand, Natasha gripped the other girl's hair and pulled her against her neck as she curled her back, the arousal running through her veins taking control of her body. She was still working her hardest to make Carol feel good as well, but the more she got close the harder it became for her to concentrate.

The little contact between their intertwined arms was like electricity going through their bodies, each kiss from Carol on Natasha's skin overwhelmed her and she could tell that her nails scratching the blonde's back and shoulder had the same effect. Their motions in and on each other's sex were slow but they built up their orgasms nonetheless and, with one last thrust inside her, Natasha was the first to come with a long trembling moan. Carol gave her what she needed to ride out her orgasm, and, when she had recovered, she began again her doing in between the blonde's legs. She was surprised by how fast Carol came as her fingers went in and out of her at a slow pace, she was closer to the edge than what Natasha had imagined. She kept thrusting a little bit longer, kissing the other girl's neck as her moans became loud sharp breaths and then soundless panting after Natasha's fingers were out of her.

Carol tilted her head back against the wall, her breathing going back to normal as Natasha stroked her thumb up and down her jaw before pulling her closer to press their forehead together.

"That was amazing." Carol said, her voice just above a whisper.

Natasha could fight the urge to grin, "It was," she replied as quietly as her girlfriend, her body still a bit weak from the overwhelming pleasure it just received, "Happy birthday, Angel." she added before pulling Carol into a passionate kiss. They quickly pulled away, out of breath faster than what they'd want, their lungs still not totally recovered.

"I think it's time for us to hit the showers." Natasha laughed, seeing a drop of sweat running down Carol's temple. The blonde hadn't felt it until Natasha wiped it away and, with her wrist, she dried her forehead, a slight smile tugged at her lips, "I think you're right."

They took their bath gowns and toiletries and went to the bathroom, walking hand in hand, their faces glowing with happiness. Whether they would shower together or not wasn't even a question, they undressed and stepped into the same shower, Carol ending up pinned between Natasha and the partition before the water had reached a pleasant temperature. The redhead kissed her with eager, her left arm wrapped around Carol's shoulders, her right hand in her hair, making a bigger mess than what it already was. Using the wall behind her, Carol pushed with her arms and foot, the run-up throwing them against the other wall, Natasha yelping as her back hit it hard.

"Baby, we do need to shower." Carol said, escaping Natasha's hold to have more space.

It was the first time that they saw each other fully naked, and they stared at the other body without an ounce of shame, because they both knew it was okay. Natasha leaned against the wall, the palm of her hands on the back of her head, and looked Carol up and down as she washed herself, the other girl giggling as she saw Natasha's dark green eyes staring at her.

The redhead was still astonished by her girlfriend's body, even though she hadn't been doing sports, or at least working out to stay in shape, her muscles were still toned, "Damn, you're perfect." she mumbled under her breath but Carol heard her and laughed in response. She reached Natasha's hands with hers and pulled her against her soaped up body, "So are you, Red." she stated before capturing Natasha's lips.

Carol cupped Natasha's cheeks with her soapy hands, causing the other girl to groan. The redhead couldn't stop pulling her girlfriend closer, their bodies pressed together as wrapped her arms around Carol, flexing her biceps to prevent any attempt from the blonde to pull away, not that she would want to, quite the opposite actually. Carol used her natural height difference at her advantage and deepened the kiss, her tongue easily finding an access into Natasha's mouth. With one step backwards, Natasha found herself in the situation she had put Carol into a few minutes ago, unable to move like she'd want, at the total mercy of the other girl.

They kept going like this, the soap on Carol's body had now been completely washed away by the hot water running on them. Their breathings were heavy and they swallowed each other's moans until someone entered the bathroom. They broke the kiss, blushing hard, and proceeded to what they were supposed to do here, showering. They heard the person singing in their shower and laughed discreetly, whoever it was wasn't the best singer out here.

The couple left the bathroom in their bath gowns, Natasha's hair tied in a messy bun and Carol with a towel wrapped on her hair. In the bedroom, the redhead checked her phone, it was later than she thought, they had to get ready as fast as possible to go to the surprise birthday party.

Natasha forced Carol to wear her 'idiot' t-shirt so she could wear her 'my idiot’ one, she loved that shirt but wearing it without the other half wasn't funny, it was actually her that looked like an idiot with it. Now that the time was a bit warmer she could go out with only the t-shirt and Carol's jacket, that she really missed during the winter.

"Shit!" she muttered, struggling to attach her necklace, the one Carol offered her for Christmas. She was wearing it everyday except when she was going to the gym, she didn't want to break it by mistake, and she also took it off when she was going to shower, gemstone and water weren't compatible. Carol, who had finished dressing up, took the necklace and helped Natasha putting it on, giving Natasha's neck a gentle kiss when she was done.

"So…" Carol said as Natasha turned to face her, "Where are we going?"

"It's no fun if I tell you." Natasha replied with a teasing smirk, she took her bag and Carol's hand and pulled her out of the room, the blonde girl lost but excited to know what was going to happen next.

Natasha thought about blindfolding Carol so she wouldn't see where they were going, because the blonde knew the route to the Stark's house but her gaze was so focused on Natasha that she didn't realised anything. Only when they were in front of the house she noticed she knew this neighbourhood, and started wondering why they came here. The Russian girl lied, saying that she thought it would be nice for them to be alone in the house, they could go to the jacuzzi or the pool, the outside temperature more enjoyable than in February, they could watch a film or a TV show, now that Natasha was into those things.

Natasha did her best act, turning the key in the lock even though she knew the door was opened, that's what they discussed with Wanda and Bucky a few days earlier, the brunet gave his best friends his keys of the house, leaving the door open so the guess could enter freely. The house was totally dark when they stepped inside and their friends were hidden behind the sofas, as planned, to make the surprise bigger. The redhead took Carol's hand and led her further inside, not turning on the light.

Suddenly, lights, glitters, confetti and people shouting came out of their hiding places, Carol jumping with surprise, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROL!!!" the dozen of people screamed, louder than if they were thousands, clapping and cheering for the blonde.

She couldn't hide her joy as she glanced at all those familiar face and stood gaping when she saw her long time best friend in the middle of the crowd, Natasha giving her a kiss on the cheek to unfreeze her. Maria scampered towards her, holding her tightly as she wished her a happy birthday, the two of them rocking slightly. Then, all the guests approached her and gave her warm hugs, emotion growing in the blonde's heart as she realised that every single person she cared about were there. After the last embrace, Carol turned to Natasha, who couldn't stop smiling, glad that her surprise worked, even more than what she expected.

"You did that?" Carol asked, her voice trembling with emotion.

The redhead nodded before pulling Carol into a hug, "I had a bit of help, but yeah, it was my idea." she clarified, it was a team effort, she couldn't have done all of this without Wanda and her brothers.

The blonde giggled, cupping Natasha's cheeks, "I love you so much." she said and kissed her tenderly, both smiling into the kiss.

"I love you, Angel." Natasha replied, giving Carol another soft kiss.

Steve was at the command of the music and turned it on, starting with some danceable songs. Carol directly went to see her best friend, who was talking with Bucky, Wanda and Steve next to the turntable, and asked her how she was there, her schedule was strict, she had less holidays than the classic student and missing a day of class wasn't allow where she was studying. The black haired girl explained that it was just a wonderful coincidence, that all her classes had been cancelled that day, there was a sanitary inspection so the whole campus had to be empty.

Natasha soon joined them with drinks for her and Carol, their only alcoholic one they agreed, even though they would stay at the house for the night, they didn't want to get wasted, unlike Sam and Scott who were already at their third drink. Bucky went calming them, just when Steve changed the music to a slow one. Scott invited his new girlfriend Hope (that Carol knew from her Quantum mechanics class) to dance and Natasha did the same with the birthday girl.

It reminded them of their first party together in this very house, though it was less crowded but more enjoyable because all those people were their friends, people they trusted.

Bucky and Steve joined the dance floor, followed by Wanda and her brother who danced like idiots while the couples were holding each others tightly or kissing. Natasha, seeing her best friend and her brother happy together, smiled from ear to ear, Carol looking back to understand why her girlfriend was glowing with happiness.

"They are almost as cute as us." Carol spoke up, surprising the redhead a bit.

"They're not even close." Natasha joked, which earned her a loud laughter from the blonde.

The rest of the night was quite calm, they all sat on the sofas and talked, debated, about various subjects, Natasha not really paying attention. She was seated on Carol's lap and was kissing her cheek and jaw with all her softness, not giving a shit about Steve and Bruce laughing at her for being so much affectionate in public.

Before midnight, it was time for them to eat the birthday cake, and for Carol to blow the candles. Pietro and Bruce brought the cake from the kitchen, the candles already lightened up and the whole house sang 'happy birthday', in a better tune than what a part of them did earlier at lunch. When they were done, it was the moment for Carol to make a wish, she glanced at her girlfriend with a smile, the other girl smiling back at her and then blew the whole twenty-one candles in one go. The guessed applauded and Wanda proceeded at cutting equal pieces of cake for all of them, Natasha taking Carol aside while they were all chatting.

"I shouldn't ask, but I was wondering what you wished for?"

"Nothing." Carol stated as if it was obvious, at what Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Nothing?"

"Yeah. I don't have anything to wish for, I have wonderful friends, a family who loves me for who I am and you, the most important person in my life. I could have wished to have my degree at the end of the semester, but I'm confident enough not to need to wish that, and if I lose my confidence I know you'll be there to comfort me."

A tear escaped Natasha's eye, "My baby Angel." she said with emotion in her voice and pulled Carol into a hug.

"Time for the present Carol!" Wanda exclaimed and blushed as she realised she broke their moment. She mouthed 'sorry' but the blonde raised her hand to tell her that it was okay.

The present passed by all the guests, each one of them laughing when they had it in hands, the shape of it was easily identifiable, "I wonder what it is." Carol said jokingly.

She ripped the gift-wrap to discover a state-of-the-art tennis racket, with her initials printed on the handle, "It was Maria's idea," said Steve, "she told us your tennis stuff was all old and dusty at her place, so we thought you'll need new things."

"Wow, that's really expansive," Carol pointed out after she had analysed the racket, "thank you guys."

"We can play together if you want one day," Pietro offered, it sounded more like a challenge though, "I have a pretty honest level, I have to admit." he added with a shit eating smirk, and got a punch in the shoulder from her sister for that.

Carol shook his hand to seal their confrontation, to which everybody was invited to cheer for their favourite player.

They went back to their previous discussions, watching the night advancing, soft music in the background as they ate snacks and drank juices, not the big parties this house was used to with Tony, but the type that Carol liked the most.

As it started to be really late, or early, depends on how you live, Natasha invited all the guests that were supposed to go back to their home to stay for the night, and they all accepted.

The couple had to host Maria and Wanda in their room, which was fine, they hadn't planned to make out, or do more, too tired to do so. They went to bed but chatted a bit longer with the two other girls, until the blonde fell asleep beside Natasha, her arms wrapped around her waist. Natasha couldn't fight a grin when she saw her adorable sleepy girlfriend and kissed her temple, she would for sure remember her twenty first birthday her whole life.


	13. I'll support you until the day I die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned this tennis game, which makes the chapter longer because I didn't want to make a chapter just for it, I hope you'll like it.  
> This fic was at first Natasha's point of view only but I thought that an omniscient pov was better for this chapter or at least for the tennis part, it will be back to Natasha's in the next chapter.

During the days following Carol's birthday, she and Pietro planned their exhibition game, thanks to Steve's connections with all the sports-related clubs of the campus. Since the exams were a few weeks away, they decided to settle the date on the 16th of May, a Saturday, when all their friends could come and see it.

The rules were classic, three sets were needed to win the game, just like in the biggest tournaments, they would play on a hard court, it was the only one at their disposition, as much as Carol hated it, she was better on clay. The tennis club gave them line judges but Steve had to be the umpire, none of their licensed umpires available that day.

Carol hadn't that much time to get ready, she had lost a lot of her past musculature and also needed to practice to see if her skills were still intact. For two weeks, she reduced the amount of studying and added more working out and tennis practice, Natasha helping her for both those activities, even though she felt useless on the court, she could barely touch a ball, Carol was indeed a semi professional player.

The big day finally arrived. Carol woke up early to get a proper and healthy breakfast, studied for an hour and then she and Natasha went to the court to warm up. Before the match started, the redhead could tell how stressed her girlfriend was, she was walking back and forth in the locker room, warming up her muscles.

It really wasn't the time for that, but Natasha couldn't stop staring at Carol, her body perfectly outlined in her tight tank top and spandex. She was sitting on a bench, leaning on her arms, biting her bottom lip as she had dirty thoughts. She stood up all of a sudden and pulled Carol into a heated kiss, the other girl gasping with surprise. They heard Steve calling the players to the court and broke the kiss, Carol totally dumbstruck, "This is for good luck," Natasha said with a smirk before giving Carol's lips one last kiss, "you got this Angel."

Natasha joined the bleachers where Bucky and Bruce were seated, the three of them were on Carol's team while Wanda, Scott, Sam and Hope where on the other side, cheering for Pietro. The players entered the court what their rackets in hands, serious faces on, ready to fight. Both sides of the bleachers cheered for their favourite, Carol's side lacking Sam's megaphone as well as being outnumbered.

Carol was extremely nervous, the last time she played she hurt herself very badly, she couldn't do that again, she couldn't go through the process of rehabilitation a second time and decided that she wouldn't try her typical serve, it was by doing it constantly that she injured her wrist.

Pietro let her serving first, and she did a double fault on the first point, which annoyed her tremendously. She managed to win her serve but only after tumultuous points and half a dozen deuce. She lost on Pietro's serve and then he broke her serve with aggressive two-handed backend. She quickly realised that he was better at attacking than in defence, but since the latter was her best, she couldn't win points without getting out of your comfort zone. She tried and failed to attack him with her powerful forehand, getting a few points out of them, but it was never enough and she lost the first set six games to two.

Natasha came down on the court during the five-minutes break to try and motivate the blonde, "Hey, babe, I believe in you, you'll eat him on this set." Encouraged Natasha, slipping golden strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind Carol's ears.

"He is really good, Natasha. His attacks are as good as my defences, the only way for me to win is by holding up until he does an unforced error, which he doesn't do."

"You told me about your secret serve, did you tried that?" The redhead asked, she didn't know what it looked like, she couldn't know if Carol had tried it or not.

Carol looked down at her wrist, the one she hurt two and a half years ago, "No. It's with this serve that I fucked up my wrist, I'm scared to do it again."

Natasha bent down before the blonde and cupped her face, "Baby, you're healed and you warmed up for like an hour, I'm sure your body is ready." she said softly, the warmest smile ever on her face as she kissed Carol's cheek.

Seeing her girlfriend so supportive enlightened Carol's features, "I'll see, thank you Natasha."

Natasha went back to her seat, cheering as loud as she could for her girlfriend, but the opposition was still louder.

This set was keenly contested, each player won their serves, Carol tried a couple of times her special serve and realised that Pietro was really bad at serve-returns. She used that to destabilise him at every beginning of points, she made him run from one side of the court to the other, alternating one-hand backends, forehands and dropshots to exhaust him. They were tied at four games each when Steve offered them another break, it was getting really hot outside, the players and the audience were sweating streams, Carol's top sticking to her skin, highlighting her abs for Natasha's biggest pleasure.

Carol tried to concentrate, to calm herself but Sam and his screams in his megaphone made it impossible, "Could he, please, shut the fuck up!" she yelled but not loudly enough for Pietro's supporter to hear her.

"Eh, babe, what's going on?" Natasha asked with worried in her tone, she had never seen Carol that much angry before, even when they fought.

"I need an audience cheering for me, I need to hear the crowd singing my name, I work with that, it gives me strength." Carol replied desperately, taking her head in her hands.

"Okay, I have an idea," Natasha said with a voice full of support as she mopped up Carol's forehead with a towel, "you just have to win this set and then you'll have all the audience you'll need."

"How?"

Natasha winked, "I have contacts." she stated and went talking to Steve. Carol observed the best friends as they talked, not understanding why Steve would help her with her issue but she trusted Natasha and let them do their thing. Before the end of the break, Carol saw Steve calling somebody, she couldn't hear what he was saying but it seemed serious, maybe they would have to interrupt the game for today, which was a good thing in her opinion.

Her hopes got quickly destroyed when Steve called back the players on the court. It was again Carol's serve and she decided to make it quick, she did her typical serve at each point, two of them being an ace, and, for the other two, Pietro's returns ended up in the net. It was the first non-scoring game of the confrontation, and Carol was really proud that she did it with this serve she was so scared to use. She managed to break Pietro's serve after a long passing shot, maybe the longest of her tennis player's career.

The break between the second and third set was shorter since they had one not that long ago. Natasha still came on the court and told Carol that the cavalry was coming, but Carol didn't understand what she meant by that. She gave her a good luck kiss and went back to her seat just before around twenty football players arrived in the bleachers and sat with Natasha, Bucky and Bruce. Carol looked at Steve, who winked at her with a cocky smile, that was what the phone call was about. A minute later, a dozen other players joined them and two non-sportif people, and Carol knew one of them, it was Tony. He sat on the first row with his girlfriend after giving a hug to Natasha who was seated on the row above them, and, after a short hesitation, he shook Bucky's hand.

With her friends and the football team chanting her name and cheering for her, Carol felt like she was living again, she felt unstoppable. She was once again the first to serve and literally stomped on Pietro with her serves, three ace and one return out for a second non-scoring game. Pietro's serves were harder to win but the people screaming her name at each side changes made her fly on the court, she attacked the Maximoff twin with forehands, forced him to make mistakes. She smashed, lobbed him, won all her serves and the third set six games to one.

With her two sets lead to one, she was overconfident and taunted him, hitting the ball with the racket in her back or between her legs, she lost a few break points because of those but she was having the best time of her life on a court and still won the games in the end.

She was serving for the match, the score being five game to none, and served with her weak hand, the left, and of course did a double fault. She was booed by Pietro's supporters for this behaviour but her supporters were so loud that she didn't mind, she served thrice and the three times Wanda's twin couldn't reach the ball. 40 – 15, match point, everybody in the audience held their breaths. She served, Pietro managed to hit the ball at the very last moment but the ball went high in the sky and Carol was there to receive it, smashed, the crowd getting on its feet as Steve said the winning phrase _Game, set and match, Carol Danvers._

Pietro collapsed on the ground, exhausted by the game while Natasha and Bucky jumped on the court to congratulate the blonde. Tony and Bruce came as well and carried Carol on their shoulders as the football team applauded the winner. Natasha took picture of the moment, when she went to shake Pietro's hand and when she thanked the audience for their cheering.

Soon, the football player left the bleachers, after Steve as their captain gave them a little talk to thank to come in such short notice. The players, their supporters and the umpire went to the locker room and discussed about the game, Carol's team kept celebrating her victory, Wanda even hugged the blonde to congratulate her, she was torn between her brother and her friend for the whole match, she said that she would have been happy if Pietro had won as well and Carol understood, if she had been in the brunette situation she would have thought the same.

Pietro and his supporters left first and Bruce was next. It left three couples in the room, Steve and Bucky, Tony and Pepper and Carol and Natasha, who were shamelessly making out on a bench, Natasha really turned on by her sweaty victorious girlfriend.

Tony, at the instigation of Pepper, went to talk to Bucky and apologised for the behaviour he had a few months back, he wasn't proud of what he did and told his brother he could come back to the house whenever he wanted. He also apologised to Steve, even though the blond guy had already forgiven him, they weren't on the best terms and Tony admitted that he was missing his best friend. Before leaving, he told them that he was glad they were happy together and wished them the best.

Seeing Natasha and Carol glued to each other in a corner of the room, Steve and Bucky left quickly after Tony and Pepper, the football player giving them the keys of the locker room that they would have to close when they would leave. He wasn't sure they heard him but left anyway, public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable, especially Steve Rogers.

It was only a few minutes later that Carol realised everybody had left, which gave her an idea.

"I've never seen you so horny, baby." the blonde chuckled as she nuzzled her nose.

Natasha shrugged, "What can I say, your abs have this effect on me."

"Wanna take a shower?" Carol asked with a smirk and Natasha immediately got what she was implying. The tennis player stoop up, carrying her girlfriend in her arms and walked them both to the shower. They quickly undressed and celebrated Carol's victory by giving each other mind-blowing orgasms.

* * *

Life went back to normal after that weekend, Carol was going to her classes and studied, Natasha was working at the library and help the blonde when they were together. Since their conversation with Wanda before Carol's birthday, she was spending more time in her room, at least three nights a week, but it didn't mean the redhead was there, she often came during the evening and left to go to sleep.

They were going to the gym every Sunday morning, when it was the less crowded, and worked out for two hours. Natasha had to adapt her routine to her new partner, who also did some adjustments, Carol wasn't use to work out with someone, back when she played tennis she was doing it on her own.

Three weeks before the final exam of the year, as she was going to Carol's room, Natasha got a call from Tony, that she didn't manage to answer in time, but hopefully he left a voicemail, _"Natalia, there is a letter for you at the house, I didn't open it because I'm a good brother but I still searched the expedition address, it's from publishing house, didn't know you were writing again. Anyway, it's on the table in the kitchen, if you wanna know what it's about. Bye Natalia."_

Natasha was completely lost, she hadn't write anything in ages and definitely didn't contact a publishing house. She was extremely intrigued by this letter and wanted answers now.

She still went to Carol's room but told her that she had to take a detour to her house and that she would come back later to help her. Oddly, the blonde didn't mind, though she was starting to be very stressed about the exams and needed all Natasha's attention, she told her that it was fine, that she could go.

Natasha didn't think twice and went to the Stark's house, for the first time in months she used public transports to get there, she usually preferred to go on foot. She imagined different scenarios in her head, maybe somebody found her old poems from when she was in high school or her short stories she posted on a blog she probably couldn't remember the password of. Those weren't good writings if she was being honest, her younger self thought it was great but she would be ashamed of what she wrote if she read them now.

She was soon going to find out because she was in front of the house. At this time of the day, Tony must be at the university, and if he was skipping class he would be somewhere with Pepper, Natasha supposed. She knew that things were getting better between Bucky and Tony, that the latter gave the former the 'right' to come to the house when he wanted but she also knew his schedule and he was in his Sea Biology class at the moment.

Natasha was so nervous that she struggled to put the key in the lock, her hands were shaking. She entered and went straight to the kitchen and the envelop was the first thing she saw when she stepped inside. She stood by the door, unsure if she wanted to know what was its content, but quickly came to realisation that it couldn't be bad, it was from a publishing house, not the police and, even though she didn't send them anything, there must be a reason for them to find her name and address to send a letter.

Natasha took a deep breath as slowly and carefully ripped the envelop and opened the letter.

_Miss Romanoff,_

_My associates and I have been impressed by your translation and how fast we received it. After comparing it with the other few we received we decided that it was yours that would be published by us, if you are still interested in sharing your version of the novel to the world._

_Your way of translating and writing is singular, different but it genuinely gives the readers what the author meant in the right way, the perfect way even._

_As our offer said, you will be able to negotiate the percentage of the takings our company will do by selling your translation but we wanted to add a point to that offer._

_There are dozens of amazing novels and short stories written by Russians authors that have never been translated in foreign languages. As a Russian yourself you probably read some of them, but others might be a mystery, some were never published or only few copies were made. We have a list of books we want to translate and publish, and we want you to translate them._

_We would provide you the books and you would have as much time as you need to do your translation, we know perfection can't be rushed._

_It is a big decision to make, therefore we are giving you a six months deadline to give us your answer._

_Best regards._

_Alexei_ _Shostakov_

 _Vostokoff_ _& _ _Shostakov_ _Collections_

The redhead couldn't believe what she was reading, somebody, most likely Carol, sent her translation to a publishing house and it gave her a job offer. She didn't know how long was the list of books she would have to translate, but it would be at least a dozen from the ones she read that have never being translated in English, and if there were more, she would have a job for a few years at least.

She took some time to come to terms with the news, rereading de letter as she was seated on the kitchen floor. She knew that publishing house, they were the main company to edit and publish Russian books in English versions, her shelves were full with theirs.

Natasha wasn't a day drinker but now she needed alcohol to help herself accepting that she just received an offer for the best job she could have dreamt of. She took a beer in the fridge, thanking Tony for always having some bottles fresh there, and drank as she read the letter over and over again.

She left the bottle on the table when she was done, took her bag, put the letter back in the envelop and went back to the campus. As she walked she wonder why the publishing house would hire only one translator if there were that much books, but she was glad they would, it would mean more money for her, if she accepted the job.

Natasha arrived in the dorms and went directly to Carol's room, she didn't even knock before stepping in.

"Damn, it took you some time, what was it about?" The blonde asked, it seemed like she genuinely didn't know what she did back there, but something in her tone was saying the opposite.

Natasha could have told her, but instead she just gave her the letter and analysed how she reacted. Considering her smile when Carol saw the seal of the publishing house, it was in fact her that had sent them Natasha's translation. Carol read the letter, glancing at her girlfriend a few times as she did, her smile growing bigger and bigger as she reached the end.

"Guess I owe you an explanation." she said and tapped on the bed, telling Natasha, who was standing in front of her, to come and sit with her.

"You guessed that right." Natasha replied with a firm voice, not that she was mad at Carol for doing that, she was actually glad she did, but she could have talked to her about it first.

"Okay, so basically, when I was searching for the book I bought you for Valentin's day I found that website of this," she pointed at the company's logo on the letter, "and I knew I had seen it somewhere so I clicked on the link and there was an announce on the homepage. It's the publishing house that released the English version of the book we read together and I saw it when I went to the library to read the end." Natasha nodded, she had done that when they were kind of separated but didn't read it in the end, "Anyway, so I read the announce and it was saying that they wanted Russian born people to translate a book for them and that they would publish the best one. When I saw which book it was, I had to send it for you, it was too good of an opportunity to miss it. I scanned your translation at the library, which cost me a fortune by the way, and send it to them with a bit of your story, just that you were born in Russia and moved in the US when you were nine." Carol knew what to share or not and Natasha was grateful for that.

Suddenly, Carol changed position to face Natasha, a sad look on her face, "I send it a week before Valentin's day and expected an answer quickly, as they said in the announce, but a few weeks past and nothing happened so I thought they didn't like your translation, that's why I didn't tell you. I wanted to have the answer before telling you because in case it was negative you would never have heard of it all, I know it would have upset you."

Natasha took Carol's hands, she was so attentive with her it was really cute and hard for the redhead not to hug her here and now, "It didn't came to my mind that they would reply with a letter until you came here earlier, it had to be it considering your face." They both laughed, the blonde was right, Natasha didn't hide her lack of understanding after she heard Tony's voicemail.

Natasha was sitting there, half smiling, her hands not letting go of Carol's. She didn't know what to say, the blonde basically found her a job when she wasn't looking for one herself, that was the best thing somebody had done for her.

"Nat," Carol said quietly, squeezing her girlfriend's hands, "it's about the time you say something, I'm kinda scared right now."

"I love you." she replied, the words escaping her mouth without her thinking them and threw herself on Carol to hug her.

The gesture was better than words in the end, no word could picture how grateful and happy she was. Carol was giggling into the hug, she must have understood that Natasha wasn't mad at her in any way for keeping it a secret, it even made it better to discover it that way.

When they pulled out, they both had their most beautiful grins on their faces, and Natasha's eyes were also filled with emotion, "This look happy to me, doesn't it?" the blonde said and Natasha laughed in response, she always had the right word to make her feel better then she felt already.

The redhead nodded and leaned closer until hers and Carol's forehead were pressed together, "Yes, I'm very glad you did all this." she whispered and kissed her girlfriend, her hand mindlessly reaching the blonde's cheek.

"Your gonna take the job then?" Carol asked as they parted and Natasha just nodded, she knew that if she talked her voice would crack and she would cry, maybe both of them would.

Later on that day, they discussed and both agreed that there was no point waiting six months to give her answer, she wanted to tell the publishing house that she accepted the offer today.

She called and exchanged with Melina Vostokoff and Alexei Shostakov for more than an hour, she felt the obligation to explain them that it was her girlfriend who sent the translation, which they found adorable. They offer to paid Natasha fifty cents per word, which was way above what translators were usually paid, plus fifty percent of the sells of all the books she would translate, with a possibility to renegotiate the contract every ten books translated. As the speaker phone was on, Carol quickly calculated and gasped as she realised that Natasha would earn a lot of money if she based her calculations on the average sales of books for Russian authors, and the numbers she had was only from the US, worldwide sales would mean even more money.

Natasha asked for a bit of time to think, to what the editors said that she still had the six months deadline, they weren't planning on publishing yet and weren't going to contact somebody else, they wanted her and her only. What she really needed was to take in the fact that she was going to have a lot of money from this, but for the rest, her mind was made, she was going to work for them.

The call hardly hung up, Natasha called Tony and explained him everything since he had seen the letter. She also asked for financial advices, he was the one handling hers and Bucky's since they parents died and didn't know much about it and asked him if the offer was honest considering the job she would do. For the last part he said that he would need the contract to be sure but it seemed like a good offer for a twenty-years-old girl still living at the university she graduated not that long ago. Tony said that he would come with her whenever she would go to sign her contract as her advisor, he said it would look good on his CV.

The next thing she did was telling her friends via their group chat, they were all happy and congratulated her.

Since the exams were close, Natasha put the job offer in a corner of her mind and didn't think of it, Carol still needed her help and she had to be a hundred percent with her to make sure she would pass her exams with the best grades possible to have her degree.

During the exams she called the publishing house and settled a date for the signing of the contract a day Tony could come with her. She also talked a bit more with Melina Vostokoff about the books she would have to translate and discovered that the one Carol's bought her for Valentin's day was one of them, which was funny because she had already started to translate it for her girlfriend.

She was a bit nervous as she and Tony went to the publishing house's building, she would officially entered in the adult life by signing those papers, she was ready for it but it still felt weird somehow. Fortunately for her Tony was born for these kind of meeting and handled it beautifully. He introduced himself as Anthony Stark, Ms. Romanoff's financial advisor and asked Melina Vostokoff, Alexei Shostakov and their associates to set out the whole contract, therefore Natasha would be sure she agreed with every terms of it. They gladly obliged and showed the redhead how much they wanted her to be their only translator, they complimented her way to put the Russian words into English and said they had never seen anybody doing it as good as her.

After a quick talk, just the two us them, Natasha and Tony agreed that it was an opportunity she probably wouldn't have in the future, came back to the meeting room and Natasha signed the contract.

A celebratory drink was required after that. They went to the bar close to the campus and texted their friends, asking them to join them after their exams of the day. Rapidly, Steve and Bucky arrived, followed by Carol, Bruce and the Maximoffs twins.

Carol couldn't stop telling Natasha that she was proud of her and that she would support her all the way through this job, hugging her and kissing her cheeks. Sadly, they couldn't stay late because the majority of them had exams the next day.

The couple strolled back to the dorms with Wanda who smoothly told them that if they were going to be all crazy in love babies the whole evening, they better do that in Natasha's bedroom, lovebirds making out while she was trying to sleep wasn't something she wanted to experience.

A few days later, the exams were over, the results were about two months later, they had nothing else to do then really celebrate this time. They threw a party, invited all the people who were at Carol's birthday, less Maria who couldn't come but still congratulated Natasha with a long phone call, and drank all night.

There was a cake in Natasha's honour with written on it 'good luck with the adult life'. She knew it was from Bucky and Steve, they used to say that they could never imagine Natasha as an adult, doing a daily job and owning her own place.

And yet, it was happening, she was becoming an adult and would soon know if she would do this transition with or without her girlfriend.


	14. I can't imagine my future without you in it

Waiting for the results of the exams oddly wasn't that much stressful, even for Carol, and especially for all of hers and Natasha's friends. They had another year to do at the university anyway, they were no geniuses like Carol and Natasha, they were smart but not like them. Only Tony and his girlfriend Pepper, a year older than the others, were waiting to know if they would graduate, and they were confident enough not to dread the results.

Natasha was probably the more nervous of them all, she wanted, needed to know if Carol would join her in the 'adult life' or not, but she did her best not to show it. There was nothing to worry about really, if Carol needed another semester to get her degree, then Natasha would go back to her parents' house while the blonde would still be at the university, and if she had enough points, they would figure everything out together. And yet, there was Natasha, overthinking the situation when they only had a few more weeks to wait.

Of course the group of friends decided to spend those weeks partying, but for once, even with Tony being a part of the group, they want out in a night club, even though they were almost all taken therefore not looking for a new meeting with a stranger while dancing. The few singles of them didn't even want to dance, they said they were fine like they were, that they didn't need a partner. They quickly ended up at Tony's anyway for an after party, because it was always better there and also the booze was free (except for Tony), they never went to a night club after that one time.

It was funny for Natasha to observe her older brother having a party with less than a hundred people in his house, it was new to him but he still seemed to enjoy it very much. The redhead could tell that Pepper changed him, made him a better version of himself, more caring and selfless. She imagined his future with Pepper by his side at Stark Industries, the two of them would be the youngest yet the best CEO and CFO for this company. They had a new view of the world that would only bring good things, and they had studied law and business enough to be qualified for this. That was of course just Natasha's imagination, but she knew it would happen one day anyway.

Quickly tired, Natasha pulled Carol to her room and they both went to bed, even though the blonde seemed to want to party more, she also knew she would wake up Natasha by sneaking under the bedsheets and accepted that the party would be for another day.

And they did party a lot, they really had nothing else to do.

The day before the results would be online, the group was joined by Maria who had had her own results a few days before, she passed her exams and was going to work during the summer but she still had a few weeks free and wanted to spend them in company of her best friend. They all got really drunk, only Natasha and Sam stayed sober because the teenagers that were their friends needed people to take care of them. Carol was definitely the worst that night, her goal was to make Natasha horny but all she did was turning on herself and she didn't get anything out of it, the redhead was going to take advantage of her wasted girlfriend.

At some point in the night, they all one by one passed out on the sofas, which offered the parents of the group for the evening time to relax. Sam told Natasha that Steve promised him the role of captain of the football team if he had to leave to a professional team for the next season. He would soon be fixed because Steve got the news a few days earlier that the calls for the next season's recruitment would be the same day as the exams' results. After covering all their friends with blankets, Sam went off to Bucky's room and Natasha to hers after kissing Carol's forehead, the girl was deeply asleep between Wanda and Maria.

Natasha and Sam woke up the next day (or actually same day but later on the morning) and went to the kitchen to prepare coffees and teas to their soon awake-and-hangover friends, the redhead even took some aspirins in the bathroom in anticipation of the headaches.

They brought the drinks, cups and meds on trays that they put down on the coffee table and discreetly chatted as they drank their teas and watched their friends sleeping.

With his phone in hands, Sam waited for the big moment, at 11 AM, they all (except Natasha and Maria) would get an email from the university with a link to their results. He and Natasha counted down and at zero, all their friends' phones rang at the same time, waking them all up with a start, whimpering in pain as the ringtones were too loud and resonated into their sore heads.

Natasha went to see her girlfriend with a cup of tea and an aspirin, "Morning beautiful," she whispered, knowing that talking would be like shouting for the blonde, "take that." she added, gave Carol the pill and kissed her temple.

"You don't have to shout," Carol whined as she rubbed her eyes still closed before swallowing the medicine with a sip of tea, "thank you Red."

They soon all jumped on the bottle of aspirin until it was empty and drank silently, their eyes still adapting to the light of the sun coming inside through the large windows.

All of a sudden, Sam clapped twice in his hands, causing the whole room to groan at the sound way too loud for their painful ears, "Guys, it's time for us to know if we all passed. Remember that if anyone of us failed they have to pay something for the people that passed."

"Oh, I didn't know that, great." Tony said with a smirk, they said that when he was yet to be reconciled with Bucky.

They all took their phones and clicked on the link. One by one, they got on their feet, screaming with joy, cheering for the others' results with hugs and high fives.

Wanda and Carol shared a group hug with Natasha and Maria, the blonde passed her exams with another perfect grade in Astrophysics and had her degree, for the redhead's biggest relief.

The first person Natasha's eyes found when she pulled out of the embrace was Steve, and he wasn't celebrating at all, quite the opposite. He was still sitting on a sofa, scratching the back of his head as he read what was on his phone's screen. Natasha could recognise this face everywhere, something was wrong and it could only be his exams. She caught Bucky's gaze and nodded towards Steve, the brunet gasping as he realised too what was going on.

"Steve?" Bucky said with a sudden sad tone, walking towards his boyfriend.

The blond coughed, "I didn't pass and the calls for recruitments are probably already over now, I don't know what to do." he said and fell into Bucky's arms, grasping his shirt as he hid his face in the crook of his neck.

"What about the west coast teams," Maria wisely pointed out, "it's still early back there, maybe they'll call."

"She's right Steven, it's 7 AM in LA, what if the _Rams_ calls you." Tony added as he patted Steve's back.

Steve cleared his throat and pulled out of the hug, his eyes very red and sniffled, "You really think the _Rams_ would ca-" The ringtone of his phone cut him off and he jumped with surprise. The blond looked at his screen and his eyes widened, "Shit, that's a number from LA!" he shouted.

"Answer you dumbass." replied Natasha in an instant.

He picked up the call and all the room went silent, only the indistinguishable words from the person on the other side of the phone and Steve's rare hums filled the air. They were all staring at him while he was looking away, squeezing Bucky's hand.

Natasha, sitting on Carol's lap, couldn't stop moving her legs as nervousness was getting the best of her. Even if she didn't believe in God, right now she was praying for Steve to be recruited by whatever the team that called him. Carol was trying to calm her by stroking her back and holding her hands but nothing was working.

After five minutes of call, the whole group started to worry again, whispering each other few words, sharing intrigued looks.

"Very well, sir," Steve said and the whole room went back to silence, "yes, thank you for the opportunity," Sam clapped his hands once and Tony raised his clenched fists in the air in victory, "I won't disappoint you sir. Thank you again."

He hung up the call, looked at his friends, shared a glance with each one of them and spoke up, "The _Los Angeles Rams_ wants me." he exclaimed as he jumped off the sofa and, before he knew it, Tony, Bucky and Pietro had jumped on him. They quickly all joined the group hug and congratulated him.

"Steve, man, I'm so proud of you, but you still didn't pass your exam, time to pay." Sam said as they both went back to their seats.

The blond chuckled, he obviously wasn't going to escape that punishment, "Right! Just tell me guys, I'm all yours."

They all thought for long minutes and came up with crazy ideas that he noted on the small note book he always had on him. Scott and Hope asked for an ant and a wasp costume, they said it would be for the next Halloween. Tony asked to have his best friend back and them laughed, saying that he didn't need anything from him except a drink. Pietro and Sam would have sports stuff and Bucky a lap dance that Steve apparently promised him a while ago but never gave him.

When it came to Carol and Natasha, without previous consultation, they both asked for a hug and got it right away, which he was really happy to give.

The rest of the day was another party but with less drinks and more soft music to soothe their headaches. They played board game, at which Carol and Natasha were becoming unbeatable, ate lunch at 4 PM and some left after that.

The graduation ceremony was a couple of weeks after the results and after it the four graduates of the group would have to move out of their respective dorms.

Natasha and Carol enjoyed their last days on the campus, strolling around, visiting places they never had the time to go to because studying was taking too much of their time.

For their last day before the graduation ceremony, they went out late in the evening and walked hand in hand around the soccer field. A few guys that were part of the team were training, Natasha recognised them, it was the band of her ex boyfriend. She hadn't realised until she heard her name yelled by a familiar voice that he was here as well.

"Natasha Romanoff," he said with a shit eating smirk, he was still the same arrogant asshole she fell for more than a year ago, and she still didn't know what she found attractive in him, "missed me?" he asked as he leaned on the gate that separated the field form the track that surrounded it.

Natasha chuckled, "You wish, but no."

"Oh that's rude, I was good to you," he replied with a faux sad tone, mimicking like he was wiping away tears. Natasha felt Carol's grip tightening on her hand, the blonde must have guessed who it was and there, Natasha felt that the situation was going to go down very soon, "I think I treated you just like you deserved, like the bitch you were."

This remark made Carol's blood boil, she jumped above the gate and pushed him, he stumbled and almost fell on his ass as the blonde's strength surprised him, "What did you just say?"

He raised his hands to try to calm her but she kept slowly walking towards him, her fists clenched so hard that her skin was turning white, "I was joking," he said but it was obvious that he was lying. He looked at Natasha and scoffed, "your girlfriend really think she can take me?"

Before he could turn his head back to Carol, her fist hit his cheekbone and he fell on the ground, the back of his hand preventing his nose to bleed, " _I_ can take you when you want you brainless shitbag, now apologise or I do the same with the right side of your face, at least you'd be symmetrical."

He stood up, groaning in pain and took a few steps backwards, "Alright, I'm sorry Natasha." he said with fear in his voice and ran back to his team.

Carol turned to face Natasha and went back to her side of the gate, mindlessly retaking her hand in hers, "You didn't have to do that." Natasha spoke up as they walked towards the dorms.

"I know, but it felt really good."

"And it was really hot." Natasha replied with a smirk and squeezed Carol's hand. No need to explain what happened next when they arrived in Natasha's bedroom.

They woke up early the next day and started packing their belongings, Natasha in her room and Carol in hers. The couple met up at midday in the cafeteria with all their friends for their last meal together. They laughed, cried out of laughter and sadness, hugged each others, wished the best for the future and then the four of them that were leave the university left to go to the ceremony.

It was nothing really, the director of the university would call their names and give them their degrees, shake their hands and they could go, but it was still marking the end of an era for them.

Natasha's palms were sweaty, she and Carol still hadn't talk about their future and it was becoming really hard for the redhead not to broach the matter, but she wanted Carol to do it first. As far as she new, the blonde wasn't looking for a job nor received offers for one, which scared Natasha, she imagined that maybe Carol would want to go back to Louisiana, not that she was against it, she just wanted to be consulted before such decision.

The ceremony was taking place in the biggest lecture theatre of the campus, it could fit all the graduates and their families, it was very noisy which tensed Natasha even more. Carol tried and soothed her by wrapping her arm around her shoulders, pulling the redhead in her personal space and kissed her hairline lengthily.

Carol's name was quickly called since her last name was at the beginning of the alphabet. She walked down the stairs under the clapping of the attendees and the director congratulated her for graduating a year early. When she came back to sit beside Natasha, Bucky, Steve and Wanda arrived, panting, drops of sweat streaming down their face and apologised for being late. They sat on the row above them, bothering a few people on their way and quietly chatted with them.

Natasha felt better now that she had more support but she still feared the moment she would hear her name in the loudspeakers, she wasn't thrilled to go on a stage with all those people watching her, she felt like she was going to fall down the stairs and make a fool of herself.

Pepper was called and she knew it was soon her turn. The redhead closed her eyes, took a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled slowly as 'Natasha Romanoff' echoed in her ears. The applauses were overwhelming, and her brothers, friends and girlfriend shouting her name didn't help at all. She reached the stage without tripping on her own feet and arrived at the director's level who had a special word for her, "I'm really glad to be presenting to you Ms. Romanoff, who obtained her degree last semester, two years and half after she first came her, which make her the youngest graduate in Russian Literature of the university, congratulation Ms. Romanoff and I wish you good luck for the rest of your life."

The room that had been silent while the man was talking went back to clapping and cheering as he gave Natasha her degree and shook her hand. She went back to her seat and sighed, all this was finally over for her, now she could enjoy the ceremony. Carol took her in her arms and whispered that she was proud of her, she knew that public appearances were difficult for the redhead.

As usual, the next person called after Natasha was Tony, and he did his best show as he walked to the stage, greeting and bowing to the audience, sending kisses to his friends and family as the director gave him his degree.

The ceremony quickly came to an end, and they all left the lecture theatre and went on their own separate ways, Bucky to Steve's room to help him pack, Tony and Pepper had already moved their thing and went to the Stark's house, and Wanda went back to her room with Carol.

Natasha was left alone and it was for the best at the moment, she needed calm to order everything in cardboard boxes and suitcases. She put the stuff Carol had left in a box, the only one not perfectly tidy up, and closed hers when she had finally put the last book of her selves in it. The redhead also had to put the second bed where it belonged, against the other wall, this room would soon be assigned to two new students that wouldn't want to sleep together.

She was almost done when Carol arrived to her room, struggling with her luggages and two boxes in her arms. The blonde let all her stuff outside of Natasha's bedroom next to the door and enter, and when she saw her the redhead could tell Carol had something on her mind.

"So," Carol started as she took Natasha's hands and led her to the undone bed, "the other day I got a call, when you went to the library and I stayed here, and I've been meaning to talk to you about it since then but I never found the courage."

Natasha got suddenly nervous, whatever Carol wanted to talk about sounded really serious.

"It was from Prof. Fury, he is one of the most known person in the astrophysics community," Natasha nodded, even she had heard of him a couple of times, which made it even more impressive, him calling Carol must be a very good thing for the future of the blonde, "he told me that he was impressed with my results here and that he wanted to tutor me next year so I would have a master in Astrophysics and then basically all companies working in this sector would want me, and for a lot of money."

Natasha could fight the grin that was growing on her lips as Carol talked, "Angel, that's amazing, why didn't you tell me?" she asked and pulled her girlfriend into a hug, kissing the side of her neck as she held her tight.

They pulled out and Natasha worried again as she saw Carol's face, "What is it baby?"

"Prof. Fury works at UCLA, which means I would have to go there to study with him."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, she already figured out what was going on but wanted to hear it from Carol, "And why is that a problem?"

Carol seemed completely lost, she stood gaping, staring into space until Natasha snapped her fingers to her face, "Talk to me, Angel." she said with a supportive tone and squeezed Carol's hands.

"I just… I- I didn't know if I could… like, ask you to come with me." Carol stammered, avoiding her girlfriend's eyes.

Natasha cupped her cheeks and made hazelnut gaze meet emerald one, "You thought I would say no?" she asked, a bit saddened that the blonde would think that, but she was still smiling.

"I mean, I don't know. You've lived your whole life in the US in New York, and you have your job now, I figured you w-"

"I can do my job wherever the hell I want," Natasha cut her off as she felt that Carol torture had lasted too long, "it's part of my contract, I can just send my translation by emails."

"Does that mean you wanna come with me in Los Angeles?" Carol wondered, her eyes all wide, she looked like a lost puppy in need of affection.

Natasha chuckled, "Of course I want to come with you, you dumb baby. I love you and I want to support you. I don't care about moving to another city, especially when Steve is going to be there next year too."

"For real?"

"Yes, for real, Angel. I want to be where you are, there is no point for me living four time zones away from you."

Carol stood up all of a sudden and threw herself on Natasha, the both of them rolling on the bed until Carol's back hit the wall, "I love you, Red. You can't imagine how happy and relived I am right now." the blonde said as the hugged, Natasha burying her face in the hollow of Carol's neck.

"Actually I can." the redhead replied quietly.

Carol slowly pulled out of the embrace, her mouth slightly open, and Natasha could read her lack of understanding on her face, "I kinda, sort of was scared to ask you what you would want to do after graduating, for like a month at least."

Carol sat up and pulled Natasha with her, both of them now sitting side by side with their backs against the wall, "But why?" she asked and turned her face to see her girlfriend, who matched her gaze hesitantly.

"I didn't know if you'd want to stay here in New York or go back to New Orleans, or something else."

"New Orleans never was an option, I love this city but I have so many bad memories, I can't live there, and I know Maria will leave as well when she will have her degree, there is no point going back there."

"I also didn't know if you would want to live with me." Natasha admitted as she looked away in shame. Carol immediately changed position to face the redhead and pulled her back in her arms, "We are both dumb babies, huh," she giggled and made Natasha laugh as well, "there is nothing I'd want more than living with you babe."

Natasha pulled out of the hug with a big genuine grin, "then, I guess we are moving in together."

Carol contacted Prof. Fury the next day to accept his offer and the couple looked for a place to live directly after that. A room at the campus of UCLA was proposed to the blonde but she explained that she didn't want it because she was going to live with her girlfriend.

They quickly realised that rents in the city of angels were high and that they would need some help paying it. They called Steve, told him in which situation they were and asked if he would live with them for the first year, they figured that Bucky would join him in LA when he'd graduate and they would live together. He gladly accepted, he had done some research himself and gave up quickly, he had to talk to his parents about it.

They found a few houses and flats that matched what they wanted, places close to UCLA and the stadium of the _Los Angeles Rams_ , where Steve would train most of the time, and called the estate agencies to have appointments to visits the places. The following weeks, the three of them flew to LA and visited four places. They all fell in love for a house in West Los Angeles, it wasn't the most beautiful house but there was a garden and an annexe in which Steve easily imagined living, it would also give Natasha and Carol more intimacy.

Carol took a flight back to New York and enjoyed a four days long road trip with Wanda, who had nothing else to do than helping her friends moving in. With Steve's, Natasha's and her stuff in the boot and on the back-seats, they drove for twelve hours a day, they took turns and stopped in motels to sleep.

Meanwhile, Natasha was working on her translating, finished the book she had started and sent it to her bosses. By the end of the week, and therefore the month of July, she received her first salary for the two books she had already translated, which was way more than was she expected, she realised she alone could pay the rent for two month just with it. The publishing house also told her that her first translation was in editing and that the first copies would be out in the world in September.

A few months later, a nice routine fell on the couple, Carol was going to the university where she studied with Prof. Fury, Natasha was working from home and Steve was barely there, half the games of his team were away in the other team's stadiums. Each evening, Natasha would cook before Carol would get back home and they would eat together, with the blond football player when he was there.

Natasha found a healthy rhythm of life and alternated work and gym with ease, and, after a year in Los Angeles, she had translated six books, the money she got from them plus her part of the sales of the novel were enough to pay for hers and Carol's part of the rent for their whole contract.

When Carol got her master in Astrophysics, she received numerous job offers, each one more tantalising and tempting than the last, until she had a call from Stark Industries. Tony himself wanted to work with her for some special secret projects he had in mind, and proposed her the best contract she could ever dream of with a salary way above what she had imagined for a first employment. She barely had to convince Natasha that it was the most wonderful opportunity for her, the redhead was already packing to go back to New York, where they lived at Natasha's parents' house until they found a house of their own.

It was a lovely house located in Bronx, where there were less buildings and people, the neighbourhood was calm and the outside air pure. They bought it after loaning money that they knew they would be able to pay back easily, especially now that Carol was working with Tony and with Natasha's second translation out in the world they soon wouldn't even have to worry about money, they were gaining way more money than what they were spending and could live a wholesome and peaceful life.

Steve, after a great first season for a new player in the major league, got contacted by a few teams, including the _New York Jets_. He didn't hesitate and went back to his home town, where he took a flat with Bucky who also got a job there after he graduated.

Almost a year after they came back, for Carol's 23rd birthday, they threw a party where they usually did, in the house where now only Tony and Pepper lived, with the friends that remained from New York. Natasha's brothers and their respective partners, Wanda and Pietro were there, as well as Maria and Bruce. They all had graduated the year before and had jobs they loved, they were happy with their lives whether personally and professionally. This meeting made them all nostalgic, but they were glad and proud of what they achieved.

They were still young and partied for a long part of the night like in the good old days. Steve was the DJ, the couples danced, the singles drank, got wasted and stayed sleeping on the sofas, it felt like home because it was, the ten of them were a family that even time and distance couldn't break.

When Natasha and Carol came back to their house, the blonde went through some of her old stuff from the university, still in a box she hadn't open since they left, and found Natasha's present from their first Christmas together. She never finished to read it, even though she had read the Russian lessons and was now a very good Russian speaker. It was late in the night but she felt like ending this book now anyway, she should have done that a long time ago and couldn't wait more.

She and Natasha went to bed and the redhead, knowing what her girlfriend would find at the end of book, told her that she was going to sleep, letting her alone for this moment. She laid beside her, her head on Carol's chest, arms wrapped around her waist and, soothed by Carols heartbeat, quickly fell asleep.

Carol could remember the story as if she had stopped reading it the day before, the details came back all at once and they reminded her how much she loved reading this short novel. She had only a dozen pages left to read and couldn't understand how she never finished it, but it had surely something to do with Los Angeles and her overbooked schedule at the university.

To her big surprise, she didn't cry as she read the end, even if it was a poignant story that reminded her a lot of her and Natasha's love story, less the homosexuality-is-a-disease part hopefully.

She was about to follow Natasha's lead and go to sleep when a loose sheet fell off the book. Intrigued, she took it and suddenly couldn't control her emotions, tears streaming down her cheeks as she read the poem Natasha wrote for her almost two years ago. The redhead woke up as she heard her girlfriend's sobs of happiness and smiled when she saw her poem in Carol's hands. They shared a gaze filled with joy and gratefulness, Natasha kissed her girlfriend passionately and they wordlessly both laid back in bed and fell asleep in each other's arms, like they were supposed to for the rest of their lives.

_For the love of my life, Carol Danvers. I love you with my whole heart, Natasha._

_You appeared into my life like an Angel falling from the sky,_

_And then all I could feel beside you was butterflies,_

_I knew right away that we would get along,_

_Now, wherever you are is the place I belong,_

_You are the one making me strong,_

_When I'm with you nothing feels wrong._

_It haven't been a year since the first time we met,_

_But be sure that I will never forget,_

_This burning feeling overwhelming my chest,_

_When you came to me like it was meant,_

_To be, with you, I couldn't be happier,_

_The truth is, you make it easier._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank every one of you who read, liked, commented, it really means a lot to me. I'm so happy with what this fiction became, at first it was supposed to be 6 or 7 chapters long and after talking about it with a couple of friends (they know who they are) new ideas came to my mind and it made this. I really am proud of this fiction and I hope you could feel it all along the reading. 
> 
> Please, tell me what you've thought about it all, I love reading your comments, it gives me more ideas and makes me want to improve.
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter (@CarolNatIsCanon) to know when I will post new content. I will soon start a social media AU on this account if you're interested in those things.


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